To consider this not a present?

[Thisgirlcando]

My DP is clumsy - but also careless with other peoples stuff. It has got to the point I hate him borrowing things from other people because something always goes wrong.

I had some new white converse around November last year, we were sat in the garden and he had a glass of red wine on the floor between our feet. I suggested he put it on the table more than once because I know what always happens and he told me not to nag because he knows it’s there so is being careful. He managed to kick it over and it went over my shoes and ruined them. For Christmas my only present was him replacing them.

I’ve asked him repeatedly over the years not to wash my clothes because he just shoves anything in without checking, I have my own washing basket so that my clothes don’t get mixed in with his. A couple of weeks ago he didn’t have a full wash load so decided to help me out by putting my stuff in with his. He put all of my whites in with his new jeans and they’ve gone an awful colour, he can’t see why I’m annoyed because he was trying to help.

It’s my birthday tomorrow but we’ve got a nice day planned today instead as he has work tomorrow. For my birthday he has replaced 2 T-shirt’s with exact replicas. I know I’m probably being ungrateful but it just feels crap, he’s not really thought about it because he has just copied what I got myself and I still have less clothes than I had a couple of weeks ago.

I feel really guilty for being disappointed.

I obviously acted amazed and like I didn’t see the nails that were hanging out etc - but then hung soft things on them to prevent him taking his eye out

Ah I see, you are dating a 5 year old. If not then you are being very patronising and enabling. A grown man thinking nails hanging out is acceptable? I dont think so

OP, he sounds harmless but pretty inept.

If he has plenty of other good points, and from what you say he seems to suit you very well, then let it go.

I don’t mean the presents, he needs to know if he damages something he replaces it - accident or not. Then, when it comes to birthdays and the like he buys you presents from a list you could give him. That way you get things you like and he isn’t spending time, money or effort on something you don’t want or need.

The red wine and converse trainers experience will always be there to serve as a reminder for when you advise him again to do something and he doesn’t want to. If you can see where disaster lies and he can’t- just remind him of this. It should help “motivate him” to take on board your advice.

@CorianderBee

He sounds sweet and annoying in equal measures 😂

I'd make it clear that you appreciate his desire to help but that you never ever want him to do any of your washing ever. Not matter what. Absolutely no washing. And if he ruins things he's to replace them not as a gift but as like for like replacement.

The wine I would have moved myself tbh.

Like my husband last night.

I was insistent that the over overdoes garlic bread, and he said it said 15-17 minutes. I said I'd take it out at 10 minutes.

He decided that because that wouldn't be enough, he'd put it in at THE VERY FUCKING TOP OF A 200 DEGREE OVEN.

When I checked it at 7 minutes it was already half black, but with the butter still frozen. He won't be making that mistake again.

Thank god for prime! An extra present has just arrived!

@Thisgirlcando

Thank god for prime! An extra present has just arrived!

Yay, what did you get, happy birthday 💐

Ooh what is it?

A new running jacket and a sports bra (doesn’t sound exciting to others but I’m happy with it)

Hooray for unexpected presents! I would definitely forgive him, especially if they are the right size. (A decent sports bra is worth its weight in gold)