I need talking down, please please please.

[giletrouge]

Talk me down please. I’ve just come across an utter, utter cunt of a man on Facebook, in a group where we discuss Radio 4 programmes of all things, who is suggesting Nazanin Zaghari Ratcliffe ‘might’ actually be guilty of what Iran has convicted her of. With everything else going on for women at the moment this has fucking broken me and I’d actually like to kill him. Luckily I have no idea where he lives but I’m trying to hold myself back from going utterly insane on Facebook. Just talk to me. About anything, I don’t care. I’m trying to have a civilised conversation with him and challenge him with facts when all I want to do is tell him he’s all kinds of arseholes. I need stopping.

It's broken you? What does that even mean?

Someone is broken on every other thread at the moment.

You are engaged in a pissing contest. You won't win but you will get wet feet.

I've just read a thread where it is being suggested that it should be legal for women to to carry pepper spray/CS gas.

This post is a very good example of why that isn't a good idea.

OP, I have a friend like you who twists herself into paroxysms of rage at what total strangers write. It is not healthy (and it is extraordinarily tiresome for everyone around you).

I've just read a thread where it is being suggested that it should be legal for women to to carry pepper spray/CS gas.

A travel sized hairspray or other noxious but effective spray like deodorant.
Not as effective as mace or cs but probably stings enough to make them let go - and legal!

This is a stranger on the internet. You're 'broken' ? You'd like to 'kill him' ??

However much you disagree, you're being way OTT . If people on the internet affect you this much then it's time to leave it alone.

I would concur with a pp - we absolutely don’t know exactly what she was doing.
Do you think spies go around with a James Bond ‘box of tricks’, or a handbag with MI5 embossed on it?

@Blancah

I've just read a thread where it is being suggested that it should be legal for women to to carry pepper spray/CS gas.

A travel sized hairspray or other noxious but effective spray like deodorant.
Not as effective as mace or cs but probably stings enough to make them let go - and legal!

For them to be effective you'd have to get very close to your attacker as neither of them spray with enough force from a distance.

So the trouble is, they may well wrestle them out of your hands and use them on you, whereas pepper spray/CS gas are designed for the user to be able to stand well back and spray.

People like that just don't matter and waste your energy. I think the whole media spotlight on women and how safe they feel is going to stir up a lot of stuff but on the whole I think most men are quite surprised that we do feel threatened regularly. My DH is appalled that this is only coming to light now. I'm not sure how they didn't know but I guess we have often just accepted it as a way of life. It's going to cause some ruptions but overall I think we'll be in a better place at the end of it.
Don't engage with him or anyone else winding you up if you can help it.

With everything else going on for women at the moment

OP, nothing is going on for women now that hasn't been going on for women for centuries.

This sort of thing is a good reason not to have Facebook. So far as I can tell (from posts on here), it's full of loons.

@giletrouge

You are all right it's a really pointless use of my time.

That's a good thing to recognise OP.

Creeps on social media stealing precious time and headspace from you.

Come off Facebook if it affects you. Also focus on things other than the negatives happening to women, there are plenty of great things as well, focus on those till it clears your mind. Limit your online time and be choosey which sites you access, is the best advice I can give,

@MonaCorona

With everything else going on for women at the moment

OP, nothing is going on for women now that hasn't been going on for women for centuries.

This sort of thing is a good reason not to have Facebook. So far as I can tell (from posts on here), it's full of loons.

It's like all social media really, including Mumsnet. It has it's good and bad points.

I agree with PPs though in that the OP really doesn't seem cut out for social media if it's affecting her to this extent.

@giletrouge
Stay well away from Facebook would be my advice.

It is full of the most hateful bilge.

Brexit was enough for me to leave it.

He may well enjoy winding you up.

Just block the twit, and consider doing a Farcebook detox.

Re pepper spray in UK..

It is {or was when I last looked} classed as a firearm.

With any weapon, one has to be careful it isn't snatched off one and used against oneself.

I looked into it after being violently attacked a few years ago, as going out ''Unarmed'' afterwards seemed terrifying.

It seems that pepper spray can buy you time to escape?

Wonder if any Policewomen on here who have any ideas as to good self defence?

I'm in the same group, and saw his horrible remarks. YANBU to be angry; but there will always be random unpleasant people in these groups. He's not Boris Johnson or President Rouhani, and has no power over the situation.

I would say not to engage with him. It's difficult when people like that are so infuriating, but there are so many online trolls now who just enjoy winding people up and causing hurt. He is not worth it