I need talking down, please please please.

[giletrouge]

Talk me down please. I’ve just come across an utter, utter cunt of a man on Facebook, in a group where we discuss Radio 4 programmes of all things, who is suggesting Nazanin Zaghari Ratcliffe ‘might’ actually be guilty of what Iran has convicted her of. With everything else going on for women at the moment this has fucking broken me and I’d actually like to kill him. Luckily I have no idea where he lives but I’m trying to hold myself back from going utterly insane on Facebook. Just talk to me. About anything, I don’t care. I’m trying to have a civilised conversation with him and challenge him with facts when all I want to do is tell him he’s all kinds of arseholes. I need stopping.

If it the same post as the one I've seen in a Radio 4 FB group this morning then I think you really do need to step away. Yes he's been a bit of an arse, but it is not worthy of the reaction.

@stablefeet

You know there are people on social media who act like this for fun? Just don't ever engage with them, not worth it. Now go and block him so you never see anything he posts again. You'll feel better.

One can't help noticing that MN has its share of attention-seeking drama queens claiming to be fucking broken, devastated or driven insane by social media contact with people they have never met in real life and never will.

@BrumBoo

What I'm loving the most on this thread is the recation the the op of how she's overreacting and need to ignore trolls, when many a poster here continues to feed trolls and goady gits on MN like its not exactly the same thing....

Yep. Pass the popcorn.

Your reaction is disproportionate, who cares what some tosser on Facebook thinks?!

I should probably print this out for myself sometimes: xkcd.com/386/

It's ok if he's wrong. It's not your job to educate him. I am feeling the same level of rage this morning about the front page of the Guardian and that horrendous interview with eddie izzard on the top next to the faces of all the women murdered by men.

But we both need to breathe and step away. Not our jobs. More constructive in my case to write to the reader's editor of the Guardian, or in your case, have a vent elsewhere and have a virtual .

I think also we need to see more people face to face. I find I get much angrier with people when it's online and they are dehumanised behind a screen. We are allowed to have a drink outside with a friend at the moment so I'm going to call a friend and see if she'd like a coffee break.

Step away from Facebook OP. Come read the feminism boards on MN, always makes me feel better when I'm feeling despair that the world is full of misogynistic assholes.

If you're that easily triggered into wanting to kill someone I think you're not fit to be in society at large.

I'm sorry but how can you know that someone you have never met who has been found guilty of a crime in a country you have no experience of is guilty or innocent? And what does the fact that she is woman have to do with it all?

Long ago I discovered that you cannot trust the UK media to tell the truth about international situations so I try not to have an opinion about other countries unless I personally know the country in question.

Why are you wasting your time arguing with strangers on the internet? And then getting so worked up about it? Completely bonkers.

Why is it so important to you to be right?

If you toned your language down a bit your words would have more effect!

My husband is from Iran and Afghanistan. I had this conversation with him this morning, he seems to be under the impression there must have been some evidence for her to be convicted. He said things that are considered normal in the Uk might be seen as propaganda in a Shia government.

I ended the convo because I didn't want to argue but I do agree that there must have been some evidence to be rightly (to them) convicted

I hope that Iran releases Ms Ratcliffe soon, but the background to this whole thing is a bit more complicated than most people realise. Ms Ratcliffe has dual nationality, something which Iran does not recognise. I actually believe that Iran would release her immediately, if the UK paid Iran the £400 million it owes Iran, or rather has stolen from that country.

www.theguardian.com/news/2020/sep/04/uk-defence-secretary-acknowledges-debt-owed-to-iran-over-shahs-tank-order

TBH, if she was guilty, good for her and she would be a very brave woman. There will be people within and outside Iran who are working against the current government. And they risk getting arrested. Brave people.

It's not as if she was arrested for infidelity after being raped. That might justify your anger at that comment.

Starve these people of attention, they hate it.

Ignore him. Don't feed his frenzy. Let people like this kill chat threads.

Jesus OP when I clicked on your thread I thought it was someone in real trouble

I’m dismayed.

The Op needs to take a long bloody look at herself and get a grip.

Seems to be quite a few crusaders on MN over the last couple of days - admirable- but angry typing on mumsnet isn't going to change anything

It just gives people a false impression that they are part of the change - when in reality they are not actually DOING anything

@giletrouge

Is it unhealthy to feel like this? Is it? With things for women as they are, is it unhealthy to feel this level of rage? I don't just feel it for him, but he's the trigger. I know that. But is it really unhealthy to be fucking raging at the moment about the way women are treated by men?

On social media? Yes. In 'real life' where there is zero escape and have to deal with this crap all the time? No. Log off.

The problem with such twats, and I know one too, is that they base their astonishing perspective in a small kerbal of truth.

As in it is possible she is guilty. I don't know, I would guess most people don't. But I would make a guess that she isn't.

There's nothing you can do with such 'intellects' other than ignore them! Challenge only when you have irrefutable facts.

Sadly, in this, we don't behave that!

The point at which you want to kill people is the time to step away. Honestly your reaction is not normal and you could just as easily be accused of trolling because of your overreaction.

He has an opinion and is entitled to it. And it’s possible he may be right, you have no idea of knowing.

FWIW I’m not convinced this is black and white either but there’s no way that I could ever know one way or the other. But being a woman doesn’t automatically make someone innocent.

Is it unhealthy to feel like this?

It is 100% normal but it's is an utter waste of energy. As we used to say back in the old days of Usenet - sit on your hands. And do not feed the troll. And step away from the keyboard.

It is very easy to get sucked in and to feel that somehow you have to convince some random on the Internet. But you don't. If you just take a break from the covnersation then after a day or two you will wonder why you bothered at all.

And we've all been there

Just block him. To be fair we don't know the actual facts of anything that goes on over there. .

theres no point in engaging with him. He’s not looking for opinions or a debate. Like most people on social media, he’s got his opinion and no ones going to change his mind.
Save yourself from this level of frustrations and don’t engage with anyone in an attempt to change their viewpoint. You’ll always lose.

Ah - someone else already got to xkcd