Is there any woman who hasn’t experienced male harrassment

[Twintub]

I was thinking about this and was initially thinking things have massively improved since I was young in the 80’s. I experienced flashers, a teacher tried to kiss me in high school he was married baby on the way, a pub boss whose girlfriend worked with him tried to kiss and grope me and another middle aged boss in my late 20s that pulled my trousers down at a night away for work. There were many more. Now I’m in my 40s I thought I don’t get bothered much but then I remembered 2 other pre covid instances. One late night train a drunk guy tried to chat to friend she politely said she wasn't interested and he got Aggressive calling her a speccy lesbian. Another instance my friend and I in a pub and a middle aged drunk man obviously on a business trip chatted up my friend she wasn’t interested I very nicely said we are just having a chat he turned on me and called me an ugly bitch He wasn’t talk h to me and I wasn’t a patch on her etc etc his work mates dragged him away.

What amazes me is men behave like this bit raise daughters who in turn get treated like this.

They should put this as a question in the census!!

I think it's fantastic that there are women on here who have experienced nothing like is being talked about.

Not all of you but some of you...

Just DO NOT say it's because your fathers taught you to be strong, or you have high expectations of what you expect from men, or you give off a vibe because... as you can imagine... those of us who have experienced harrassment, might well also be strong, give off a vibe and have role model fathers.
You've just been lucky.
That's it.

This is a fantastic article. Well worth a read. Marina Hyde harrassed yesterday. And talks about it

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/mar/12/what-happened-women-uk-harassed-street

I’m 44 and have experienced lots of catcalling/leering (especially in my teens/20s), a particularly creepy co-worker relentlessly commenting out loud on my bum/boobs/clothing, a male masseuse rubbing himself up against me and a very upsetting incident in my mid 20s where my male GP (50s) touched me extremely inappropriately. It upsets me still to recall it.

Saying all of that all of the boys/men I’ve dated since my teens have been nothing but respectful and gentle.

I believe it’s rare for a girl or woman NOT to have experienced some level of harassment tbh.

I'm 31 and experienced it since I was about 12. I even still get shouted at pushing my son in his pram. Many many experiences my entire life.

It's a good article. Shame about the publication its in.

I wonder if the columnist feels empowered for having been promoted to a she by her harasser.

Myself and all of my female friends and acquaintances have experienced sexual harassment, male violence, and some form of abuse.

I ran a workshop in a place with hundreds of women, set over the course of a week. I asked the women at each class if they had experienced this and only a very tiny percentage said no. Some of them changed their minds when they realised that cat calling and inappropriate comments also constituted sexual harassment.

It is not rare.

Oh and I have a wonderful father.
Having a wonderful father is not going to protect you in every situation in life.

@Roussette

I think it's fantastic that there are women on here who have experienced nothing like is being talked about.

Not all of you but some of you...

Just DO NOT say it's because your fathers taught you to be strong, or you have high expectations of what you expect from men, or you give off a vibe because... as you can imagine... those of us who have experienced harrassment, might well also be strong, give off a vibe and have role model fathers.
You've just been lucky.
That's it.

This ⬆️

Men’s harassment of women is down to men. Men can do it, or not do it. But nothing women do influences either way.

Do not cast any doubt about who is responsible.

acatcalledjohn

Yes it is a good article even if you don't like the Guardian.
I don't understand the 'she' bit you said.

@HaNNaHC92

I'm 28 and have not experienced male harassment or even come close to. There's obviously a lot of women out there who have been, but I think the numbers are exaggerated and are still small compared to those who have not been.

Have you really not? This genuinely amazes me. No man ever flashed at you? No male teacher/ friend's parent/youth worker/church leader/elderly relative ever made a pass at you or made lewd comments about your looks? No drunk on a train ever insisted you talk to him/get chatted up by him and got nasty if you tried to shut him down? No man ever followed you home on a dark night, or whistled or cat called or hissed or called out to you? No car ever slowed as you are walking down the street, or man suddenly screamed at you from his van so you nearly jump from your skin? No man in a foreign country tell you you and your female friends shouldn't be out unaccompanied - people will think you are whores? (happened to me in both Greece and Sicily) No one ever 'accidentally' touched your breast or thigh or bum at work or getting in or out of a car? No man ever taken advantage of a crowded tube train to show you how very excited he is on a Monday morning?

I am genuinely amazed any woman has got through nearly 30 years on the planet and never had this happen once. I am glad but surprised. I know not a single woman - not one - who hasn't, both from my friendship group and work colleagues.

I’ve had so many things happen to me over the years. My first experience was when I was only 7 years old. My brother’s best friend who was 13 at the time, forced my hand into his pants. When I was 9 I was asked to go and collect something for my teacher from another classroom, there was a man standing in the corner of the empty room with his pants down. He started wanking when I walked in. I’ve been groped, cat-called and assaulted. Another one of my brother’s friends spiked my drink and tried to rape me when I was 16. My friends caught him taking my clothes off and attacked him. I’m so fucking sick of it. Sick of not feeling safe, sick of men getting away with it. Something needs to change.

I'm also shocked that some women haven't experienced male harassment. Its literally been something that shaped my life

I didn't feel safe as a child and a young woman. I wasn't safe. I was at risk of being shouted at, groped, flashed, masturbated to, followed... these are the things that happened to me. The constant fear was that someone would do something worse. It changed how I was able to move through the world and how I felt about myself and my body. Before i even got to the issues of feminism that affect me now as a 41 year old, which is jobs and pay and childcare and the mental load of it all, I had to deal with the issues that affected me as an 11 year old. Which were much more basic - was I safe walking home from school?

I'm not expressing myself well but men's behaviour determines how safe or unsafe we feel and its shit

@DarcyJack

Honestly I'm amazed some people are saying they have never been harassed! I said this on another thread but I am 59 and I reckon every single time I run I am verbally harassed! It's absolutely bonkers. Cheer up love nice arse invest in a sports bra wet t shirt blah blah blah. These are not terrible people, but what are they thinking? I run in daylight along a fairly busy seafront. Are some people just not recognising harassment?

I was out running with a friend once and two blokes in a white van slowed down, leaned out and said, 'Good job, ladies, keep it up!' I was SO surprised it wasn't the usual lycra letching. I mean, they still had the urge to comment and share their opinion of us which no woman does to any man out running, but was sweet and uplifting in comparison with the usual.

Also I was raised by feminist parents and am confident now. But as a little girl being followed home by a man with his hands down his pants - no. I was not confident. I was shit scared of course, and theres a tiny little muscle memory that lodges in there about what to do differently next time. Because, yup, there is always a next time

I’m actually amazed how only a few haven’t experienced it and how many woman have had very similar experiences. Mine are minor in comparison to some of the other posters. I go back tilt original thoughts that these men seem to have no concept that we are their mothers their daughters their sisters and what would they do if it was some bloke and their female relative. Woman get the shitty end of the stick since the beginning of time.

Makes me raging to see this displayed out over the course of the day.

I feel like every woman in this country who has experienced this needs to descend on London with a placard listing the types of harassment and march to Downing Street. The city would be gridlocked.

@Labobo see I would not find that sweet and uplifting. I would find it patronising and unwarranted.

Why don't men impose themselves on other men in the same way? Why don't men stop other men in the street and say smile mate it might never happen?

Because women are expected to smile nicely in the face of unwanted attention, and men would (rightly) wonder why a stranger felt the need to impose his opinions on such an every day thing as running.

Like another poster said we need the decent men to call out their friends, relatives and colleagues too and not encourage the banter

Since 12! Many incidents. I assume a substantial number of men are not trustworthy.

Excellent father but that made eff all difference in the outside world. It just made me realise how unusual he was compared to the men I encountered from puberty onwards.

I never used to think I'd been sexually harassed but actually, I have. Not in any horrific way but just minor things that made me feel shit. And they all need to stop too.

Catcalling (not saying this to brag, when it's happened I've never been sure if it was sincere or mocking but either way it's awful), male 'friends' having a feel when they're drunk, strangers putting their hand on my lower back to push past me, my outfit being commented on by men in a passing van, etc. etc.

I was out running with a friend once and two blokes in a white van slowed down, leaned out and said, 'Good job, ladies, keep it up!' I was SO surprised it wasn't the usual lycra letching. I mean, they still had the urge to comment and share their opinion of us which no woman does to any man out running, but was sweet and uplifting in comparison with the usual.

You are so used to harassment that you welcome being patronised instead.

@howaboutchocolate

I never used to think I'd been sexually harassed but actually, I have. Not in any horrific way but just minor things that made me feel shit. And they all need to stop too.

Catcalling (not saying this to brag, when it's happened I've never been sure if it was sincere or mocking but either way it's awful), male 'friends' having a feel when they're drunk, strangers putting their hand on my lower back to push past me, my outfit being commented on by men in a passing van, etc. etc.

Why oh why do you feel the need to tell us that you're not "bragging" when you tell us about men treating you like dirt? Why oh why are we all (as in, not just you and this isn't your fault) being conditioned to think that men being obnoxious shits to us is a compliment?