Police advising women not to walk alone at night

[Bubbinsmakesthree]

I’ve seen a lot of friends outraged at the Met police locally advising women not to walk alone at night in the days following the disappearance of Sarah Everard. I’ve seen a posts along the lines of ‘how about telling men not to attack women instead?’

I absolutely agree with the wider point that we should be asking the question “how do we make it safe for women?” not “how do women stay out of danger?”

But in this case, was the police’s advice not just the equivalent of advising people to stay out of the water following a shark attack?

I’m so upset and angry about Sarah Everard but I cannot get incensed about the police advising women to take precautions when an unknown attacker may have still been in the area.

@RootyT00t

Mmmm.

Then there's the likes of the policeman who was murdered in cold blood , the trial was a farce, but it barely made MN.

If only it had been a female police officer, eh?

Why didn't you start a thread then?

Last time I checked women are still allowed the freedom to pick and choose what they post. Don't like it? Tough. Don't even know why you're on MN you clearly have a problem with women talking to each other about tpoics you don't approve of.

I don't have a problem with women doing anything, but I can disagree.

The irony of you saying women can post what they like unless it's me because I don't agree

Read your post I quoted

I did.

So you'll see no irony because I haven't told you what to post (please quote where I have) but you on the other hand disapproving of us not posting about said policeman you mentioned above proves you do.

The Police should be encouraging men not to harass, rape, treat women as a homogenous mass that they can disrespect and degrade on almost every level. All along the paradigm from casual sexism to downright misogyny.

Funnily enough I'm also on the other threads where other posters have pointed the same thing out to you.

@thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter

So you'll see no irony because I haven't told you what to post (please quote where I have) but you on the other hand disapproving of us not posting about said policeman you mentioned above proves you do.

I didn't disapprove of people not posting. I was pointing out that despite the anti men anti police narrative, things happen on the other side, but we don't talk about it.

The other thread you speak of consists of two posters who pop up on every thread to attack me because they think I hate women, as you will see if you read properly.

I didn't disapprove of people not posting.

We'll have to agree to disagree there. I still think you're trying to shut down discussion about male violence towards women.

Boys Will Be Boys
Dua Lipa
It's second nature to walk home before the sun goes down
And put your keys between your knuckles when there's boys around
Isn't it funny how we laugh it off to hide our fear?
When there's nothing funny here (ah)
Sick intuition that they taught us, so we won't freak out
We hide our figures, doing anything to shut their mouths
We smile away to ease the tension, so it don't go south
But there's nothing funny now (ah)
When will we stop saying things?
'Cause they're all listening
No, the kids ain't alright
Oh, and they do what they see
'Cause it's all on TV
Oh, the kids ain't alright
Boys will be, boys will be
Boys will be, boys will be boys
But girls will be women
Boys will be, boys will be
Boys will be, boys will be boys
But girls will be women
I'm sure if there's something that I can't find the words to say
I know that there will be a man around to save the day
And that was sarcasm, in case you needed it mansplained
I should've stuck to ballet (ah)
When will we stop saying things?
'Cause they're all listening
No, the kids ain't alright
Oh, and they do what they see
'Cause it's all on TV
Oh, the kids ain't alright
Boys will be, boys will be
Boys will be, boys will be boys
But girls will be women
Boys will be, boys will be
Boys will be, boys will be boys
But girls will be women
If you're offended by this song
You're clearly doing something wrong
If you're offended by this song
Then you're probably saying
Boys will be, boys will be
Boys will be, boys will be boys
But girls will be women
When will we stop saying things?
'Cause they're all listening
No, the kids ain't alright
Oh, and they do what they see
'Cause it's all on TV
Oh, the kids ain't alright
Boys will be, boys will be
Boys will be, boys will be boys
But girls will be women
Boys will be, boys will be
Boys will be, boys will be boys
But girls will be women

@thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter

I didn't disapprove of people not posting.

We'll have to agree to disagree there. I still think you're trying to shut down discussion about male violence towards women.

Absolutely not. Just trying to stop it being the vicious echo chamber I've seen these threads become time and time again.

Just remember something sort of funny... I was on the tube reading a copy of Cosmo... about 6 or 7 suited men scattered around the long carriage. A man got on, and then moved opposite me. Started to try to talk to me. I didn't respond, just said I was reading. He got more and more aggressive and abusive toward me. NONE OF THE OTHER MEN MOVED OR SAID ANYTHING. I ended up hitting him over the head with my rolled up copy of Cosmo. He got off , then one of the men said maybe I shouldn't have done that as he could have retaliated and hurt me!!!!!! I had a right go at all the men sitting there, got off at next station & reported him to rail police. So thanks Cosmopolitan Magazine, your are more useful than a man.

And that is why I tell my dd to put her bags on the seat next to her, as a physical barrier and she keeps her headphones visibly in so dickshits can see she is otherwise engaged. I tell her not to move her bags , ever unless the bus/train is completely full and no other seat is unoccupied. Not so for females as none of us have ever been threatened/ harassed/felt threatened by another females.
What especially makes her feel sick are the huge numbers of dirty old men who try and sit next to her (even on virtually empty carriages). She doesn’t switch her music off, she ignore the dirty fuckers and I tell her to do this. Don’t move your bags for them.
This has been a great advantage of the pandemic. Now the dirty pervs can’t squeeze next to us and engage in unwanted conversation.

The government are doing a survey on VAWG. Link:

www.gov.uk/government/consultations/violence-against-women-and-girls-vawg-call-for-evidence

Nutters and evil people are out there folk. Most men are kind and considerate the same as most women are kind and considerate.

You can say it isnt fair all you like but you cannot reason with nutters and evil people. We all have to look after ourselves and not put ourselves in danger. That doesnt mean not go out but you have to take all reasonable precautions because nutters and evil bastards cant be reasoned with.

I don’t go out a night haven’t over the whole of winter . My boyfriend worries too much now he is vindicated. Now I don’t feel safe in the daytime. Went to the supermarket and people wasted on drugs are quite aggressively asking for money. Feels like things can erupt at any moment . I just would love to live in the countryside and have a car . There is little joy in city living Just now . Its like handmaids tale walking in pairs with bonnets ( blinkers) on so we stay protected and pure only in daylight hours honestly hearing women marched 40 yrs ago for the same safety issues and nothing has changed maybe this is the turning point?

@sadblackcat kindly don't use the expression 'nutters' anyway the vast majority of mentally unwell people are only a danger to themselves if anyone.

Women are actually at risk from men who can seem very normal.

The male colleague who attacked me & turned into an actual psychopath when I stupidly went to his place after work to talk about his depression went on to become a GP.

Another man who kept trying it on during a night out with friends & would not stop was a male Staff Nurse.

I know a young woman suffering from BPD who was sexually assaulted by a Mental Healthcare Professional.
She didn't bother reporting but attempted suicide instead. I mean who would believe her??

As for the Police, I have been well treated by them when I had a psychotic breakdown. Actually the main policemen who dealt with me was amazing compared to the Crisis Team.
I still wouldn't report a sexual crime to the Police though because it's a lot to get through & I know many cases don't even get to court, let alone get convicted. Not saying that is the fault of the police themselves, it's more the criminal justice system.
I do know, from one PC, that sex offenders get rough treatment when arrested. Some male officers in my area, who know when a case won't make it to court, mete out their own form of justice to an offender.

Just watching the coverage of police at Clapham. Already watched the live stream. WHoever was here earlier trying to defend the police|: really?

They do need to tell women to be extra cautious, nit walk alone.
Telling men not to abduct or murder women won't help because, if that's what a evil man wants to do, he will do it, police voice won't change his mind.

It's like saying, burglars and thieves please don't break in to peoples homes and cars, will
It stop them? No. Rather the appropriate said thing is warning us to lock our doors and windows, not leave valuable in sight etc

@diagold4u you sound like you’re part of the older generation that grew up with that sort of outdated advice. As a younger adult, I don’t think you should compare female humans to property like that. Women/girls shouldn’t be expected to lock up their vaginas as an equivalence.

What do you expect eg a nurse that lives in London to do after she finishes a night shift? Just change her career track because she can’t possibly be out a night or walk alone?

It’s that sort of rhetoric that allows these crimes to be so commonplace. You’re part of the problem when you hold ideals like that.

www.change.org/p/make-public-sexual-harassment-a-criminal-offence-in-the-uk?recruiter=951285956&recruited_by_id=d7227620-5b97-11e9-9f40-37e63edb1020&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=copylink&utm_campaign=psf_combo_share_initial&utm_term=dc946ed4bbd644b7b1bd75844d33f5f2

'They do need to tell women to be extra cautious, nit walk alone.'

How can women take certain jobs etc under those circs?

Many women live alone.
Many women use public transport.
Many women work shifts etc.

And anyway. What if a woman wants to go out for a non work reason?

It's totally unworkable 'advice'.

All it does is make women feel scared. And if something happens there's always something or other they did 'wrong'.

@MmeLaraque

Just watching the coverage of police at Clapham. Already watched the live stream. WHoever was here earlier trying to defend the police|: really?

It wasn't me but I agree with them.

This is not a time to bash the police.

I disagree totally with always telling women - ie the victims what to do. If men are victims (and they get attacked more by strangers,) why oh why are they not constantly told to 'be alert, stay safe, stay indoors etc ?'
I'll tell you why because society blames women that's why. It's always the woman's fault unless there are exceptional circumstances such as in Sara's case.
Look at how it's reported. A white, middle class, respectable woman, wearing sensible, non sexual clothing, she has a boyfriend etc etc etc and shock horror even she wasn't safe!!!!!!!!
Imagine the trouble all you lower class, dirty scrubbers could get yourself into by merely being out in public. Like a poster up thread pointed out, it's not just males who pay taxes. Females pay for public services such as the police too. Imagine your child was being bullied, Would you accept the teacher telling your child to 'Stay safe?' Or would you expect the teacher to apprehend the bully? All those saying society is right to tell women constantly what to do and what not to do need to really think about it. Would you seriously be happy if the teacher told your child to stay in at playtime and perhaps go home for lunch , you yourself advised to collect you child every lunch time to keep them safe. Told them not to go to the toilet unless with a friend, told to keep out of the public areas, told not to walk to and from school, told not to use the school bus as it's where the bullies could hang out.
Think about why it's always females and it is always females who have their freedom restricted.

@diagold4u

They do need to tell women to be extra cautious, nit walk alone. Telling men not to abduct or murder women won't help because, if that's what a evil man wants to do, he will do it, police voice won't change his mind.

It's like saying, burglars and thieves please don't break in to peoples homes and cars, will
It stop them? No. Rather the appropriate said thing is warning us to lock our doors and windows, not leave valuable in sight etc

What twaddle.

More men then women are assaulted by men so they aren’t they told to stay home? From earliest childhood women are taught that it’s their own fault if they are assaulted. If it’s outside the home - why weren’t they safely at home away from that bad man? If it’s at home - why did they choose to live with that bad man?

But it have the right idea. If you don’t want your property harmed, lock it up. This messaging come loud and clear from the era of women being chattels, like a car or a laptop. That’s what lays behind the messaging. Lock up your womenfolk if you don’t want them defiled.

Women are not cars or laptops. We don’t belong to men. We are equal members of society. But society hasn’t adapted to the fact that we are no longer the property of men and are still treating us like cars and laptops.

They never told men to stay home out of danger, because men aren’t property owned by someone.