AIBU for being unhappy about this change in school dinners

[wingingitk15]

So a new child started my sons school on Monday and he has a severe dairy allergy. It is so severe that he cannot be in the same room as a dairy product.

They've stopped giving the children in his classroom the usual school milk and for dinner time, since they're in the bubbles anyway, they've made it that when their year enter the dinner hall they take away all other options and his year are only offered the vegan option.

I'm a bit confused by this because surely if it's an airborne allergy, the previous years eating different foods would still be in the air? But my son has came home absolutely starving everyday because he says "the vegan option is horrible" and he won't eat them. He loves his fruit and veg, he's not a picky eater so I can't understand him not wanting to eat them.

I'm a bit unsure on what to do because I feel so sorry for this new pupil who has to be very careful about what he eats but also I pay for these dinners and my son isn't being given a choice it's just the one vegan option that he's given.

Packed lunches aren't an option because of covid they are only allowing packed lunches if the child has previously been packed lunch.

Should I enquire to the school about this? Or should I just tell them my son is going packed lunch? Is this just something I've got to accept that he's going to be given whatever is vegan that day and he'll come home starving or is there a way the school could overcome this?

None of my family suffer from allergies so I'm not really clued up on how they can be. If anyone has any children with allergies and tips on how the school/children manage with it I'd really appreciate it!

@Holly381 that sounds so tough, I hope you have some good support

But children on FSM and free milk will not be malnourished as a result of eating one dairy free meal a day. The exact same nutrients can be provided, if not more so, and I've seen school dinner menus, in many places they aren't the most nutritious at the best of times.
My DC hasn't had dairy since a few months old, now 5 years old and is far from malnurioushed.
A normal week in school...
spag bol - dairy free
Roast dinner - dairy free
Jacket potatoes with a range of toppings- dairy free
Cottage pie - dairy free
Honestly dairy free is not a massively restrictive diet to follow at all. It just requires a different butter (same price as any other) in order to change most things to dairy free.

You need to raise your concerns with school. My daughter has a milk allergy and was her schools first experience of food allergy- it took a few attempts in the early days to get the balance right between her safety and needs and the other children's needs- but we kept in close contact with school and the outside caterers and we found a good solution for us. She has separately prepared menu/food, has a specific place to sit at lunch, goes in first and leaves her knife/fork etc and staff pick it up to avoid her coming into contact with any milk/milk products. The other children in her class get the same menu as the rest of the school. It may be a short be a short term measure until school have agreed something, or they may not think the vegan meals are not an issue- best to raise it with school.

@ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown you can say what you mean, no need to be arch. Milk is a straightforward and efficient way to get some calories and nutrients into people who need it and it was a great idea to help children with free milk at school at the time it was introduced. However it's 2021 now and there are better, healthier, more sustainable, and more cost-effective foods and drinks that could be offered instead. As many posters have said, milk allergies are endemic- causing more deaths than any other allergy in children. We don't serve peanuts at school so maybe milk and dairy needs reconsideration, too.

This isnt about food but poor organisation - let that child eat first and seperately.

Packed lunches aren't less if a covid risk because they were chosen 6 months ago.

Gallbladder those are not vegan options though, those of us who are concerned about the children on fsm are not (I'm not anyway) saying dairy free will cause them problems, but being given poor-quality vegan food may well.
I do also agree with another poster who said vegetarian children - who can be vegetarian due to religious beliefs, or as a substitute for halal meat for example - would gain buoy Ito all benefits from eating dairy products.
Perhaps there are no children on fsm at this school. There are many people on severely reduced incomes at the moment though.

@ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown the point gallbladder and I were making is that dairy-free does not mean vegan, and there are plenty of nutritious and varied options available for a dairy free school dinner meal menu :-)

Arch?
What drink would you suggest that is equally nutritious , cost effective etc? (Genuine questions, as I'd like to give it to my milk-refusing dc!)

Thank you, but others were discussing the impact of canteen-vegan food (as this is what the Op was about, and is what was on offer), rather than dairy free meals in general which are not currently on offer in the OP's school without also being vegan. From what she has posted anyway.

^^ to Tubbyunicorn

@ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown

Gallbladder those are not vegan options though, those of us who are concerned about the children on fsm are not (I'm not anyway) saying dairy free will cause them problems, but being given poor-quality vegan food may well. I do also agree with another poster who said vegetarian children - who can be vegetarian due to religious beliefs, or as a substitute for halal meat for example - would gain buoy Ito all benefits from eating dairy products. Perhaps there are no children on fsm at this school. There are many people on severely reduced incomes at the moment though.

Yes but I think everyone agrees that the school do not need to be providing a vegan meal and this is the issue. Not the child being dairy free and potentially having to serve others dairy free meals. If the school served dairy free then surely it makes it safe for this child and it also means the others are not missing out. There doesn't seem to be a reason why the children can now only have a vegan option whenever dairy free does not require vegan and that does need to be raised with the school. Hopefully its just a short time until they have got supplies in to cook dairy free perhaps but I'd be concerned about the school caterings understanding of food if they believe dairy free means vegan

But children on FSM and free milk will not be malnourished as a result of eating one dairy free meal a day
These children may not get given dairy at home because the parents are either in poverty or are shit parents. So basically their school meal is their only opportunity to get those nutrients. It’s important that school meals are balanced and include all food groups.

Does seem a little extreme to make all children have vegan hot meals

But might just be while kitchen sorts out weekly menu then can do df sausage mash veg etc

Tbh prob best if allergy child brings own lunch in

Will be interested in what schools reply is

@ClearMountain

But children on FSM and free milk will not be malnourished as a result of eating one dairy free meal a day These children may not get given dairy at home because the parents are either in poverty or are shit parents. So basically their school meal is their only opportunity to get those nutrients. It’s important that school meals are balanced and include all food groups.

We have had absolutely no issue providing our child with their recommended intake of nutrients, probably healthier sources as well than cows milk. We exceed the calcium target for the day without milk and we don't have any issues with any other vitamins either.

@ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown yes, your comment was a bit arch, sorry. Anyway, kids don't need milk, billions of children -the majority- around the world don't 'drink milk' after they are weaned and only really consume dairy as a small part of their diet. Here are some foods that contain plenty of calcium:

Calcium counter
Sources of calcium, according to U.S. Agriculture Department:

●Tofu (1 / 2 cup) 434 mg

●Yogurt, plain low-fat (8 oz.) 415 mg

●Sesame butter (3 ounces) 84 mg

●1 percent cow’s milk (1 cup) 305 mg

●Sesame seeds (3 teaspoons) 264 mg

●Soybeans (1 cup) 261 mg

●Broccoli (1 cup, cooked) 180 mg

●Blackstrap molasses (1 tablespoon) 172 mg

●Spinach greens
(1 / 2 cup, cooked from frozen) 146 mg

●Navy beans (1 cup) 128 mg

●Hamburger (double patty) 122 mg

●Kale (1 cup) 101 mg

●Pinto beans (1 cup) 82 mg

●Garbanzo beans (1 cup, cooked) 80 mg

●Almonds (1 oz, 23 whole nuts) 75 mg

●Kidney beans (1 cup) 50 mg

●Green peas (1 cup, boiled) 40 mg

●Sweet potatoes (1 cup, cubes) 40 mg

●Orange 38 mg

●Raisins (1 small box) 22 mg

@ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown the school just need to ensure some of the other meals are dairy free - the majority on school menus will be, if not all with the removal of cheese and a swap of mash to roast potatoes.

So vegan option (dairy free obvs), plus other menu options (dairy free)

@goldfinchfan

I do not understand how a Dairy allergy can be airbourne? I have a dairy allery but only if I eat it? Is airbourne allergy a real thing?

My son has multiple allergies including cows milk protien. His lips and face swell I have to call an ambulance. Yes airborne allergy is real. Luckily my son only reacts if he touches anything with cows milk in or eats it.

I imagine the school meals had already been planned for this week, so vegan was the safest option. After all quite a lot of the meat options probably have dairy in them eg milk/butter in mashed potato or pastry, cheese on lasagna & pizza etc

I think it’s reasonable to ask the school how long until other options are offered again. Also reasonable to give your DS packed lunch until then.

If the problem is that the cheesy veggie option is (understandably and correctly IMO) being removed, but the meat option has run out by the last group, then surely the best arrangement would be to let the affected class go first with any dairy options removed? That should then still leave them with at least 2 options (meat or vegan plus veggie if not dairy that day), and whichever class was last would still also get at least 2 options (veggie and vegan plus meat if not all gone). This has the added benefit that no dairy would be left on surfaces from previous sittings.

We have had absolutely no issue providing our child with their recommended intake of nutrients, probably healthier sources as well than cows milk. We exceed the calcium target for the day without milk and we don't have any issues with any other vitamins either.
Good for you. Some parents don’t give a shit and certainly don’t make the effort to ensure their kids get nutrients at home. Some parents barely feed their children at all. Some children rely on their school meals. You obviously don’t understand that.

There was a story in paper couple of years ago about a boy who had severe dairy allergy and some other boys thought it would be funny to throw a slice of cheese at him. He died from it.

So I think school have got worried about something like this happening.

I think if you're paying for meals and also those on FSM should get milk and full meal. Even kids who pay for meals might only have snack tea at home due to parents working or after school activities.

The boy should bring a packed lunch - surely that would be safest?

Great idea @wroxie so my coeliac child gets a school meal with no wheat, dairy, nuts and you might as well add eggs as they're a really common allergy too. We can't just cut out major food groups for all children when it's not necessary.

The issue is that there running out of the other option. So they'd normally have 3 options. Option 1 has run out. Option 2 is removed because of the dairy, so all that's left is option 3. They need to not run out of option 1!

OP you haven’t said what the vegan option meals are? We don’t know if they are nutritional. Hopefully the school are working on a dairy free menu with more variety and options your DC will prefer but it’s worth asking them.

I can totally understand the school trying to include a new child, life must be hard enough for him. But agree the other children shouldn’t suffer. I’m assuming the packed lunch children eat separately as most would have some kind of dairy in their lunches (bread, cheese, yogurts, etc)

The school definitely need to do something else. I’d be really pissed off if my carnivore kids were forced vegan food as I know full well they wouldn’t eat it. My 3yo has dairy allergies (not lethal or airborne) so we have a lot of vegan alternatives at home and none but my 3yo will eat them. The children may turn on him if he’s the reason they have to eat stuff they don’t like.

Maybe they could buddy him up with another child/ren in the school who are vegan or he might have to eat alone (maybe have an older child or teacher as a buddy for him) until something better can be found. Yes it will be lonely but if it’s life threatening then he will understand about his allergies by now.

I’d be writing to the head saying it’s not acceptable, the children should not be forced food they don’t want to eat especially when parents are paying for it.