Getting too thin?

[mmner31]

Hello Mumsnetters,

12 months ago I started losing weight through IF (16:8) and reducing portion sizes of meals. I also started walking more, which in turn lead me into starting jogging. I'm 5ft7 and I started at 13st9 and I'm now 10st 2. DP has expressed his concern that I am starting to look too thin.

I have explained that I still fast (for the health benefits) but do eat considerably more than I did when trying to lose weight. To be honest I do not wish to lose anymore weight as I am a healthy weight for my height.

Has anyone actually got too thin and then had a comment made by a DP/DH or even a close friend/family member/?

@lljkk

My first thought reading OP's very first post was.. he misses your larger boobs. You'll just have to show him how much of a sex goddess you are regardless of body size.

So it’s up to the op to compensate for her body being healthier?

She doesn’t “just have to” do anything. This is his issue, not hers.

@lljkk I work out so I think my figure looks good. I'm sort of toned.

10.2 is not thin even at 5.7 what an odd thing to say

🙄

It also depends on body distribution & shape, two people the same height & weight can look quite different.

I lost quite a bit of weight just before my wedding. I wasn't trying to I was just stressed, my dad did say I looked gaunt & was concerned. I was maybe close to 9st & I'm 5ft 10.5 & have quite a large bust. Looking at photos I'm very thin, my arms look twig like.

Age partly controls both how healthy your weight is and how good you look.

You can get away with being much thinner if you're younger - fat in your face makes you look young, and fat declines with age, so losing weight in your 40s really will provoke a face/body decision.

In health terms, people over 65 who are slightly overweight have the best life outcomes, interestingly. Being too thin is much worse news than most of us think, although a lot of damage can be repaired over time.

I think some people look more attractive when in the upper bmi range or slightly over whereas others look better in the lower range.

@Ploughingthrough

mmner31 I used to feel like that. You have lost so much weight (well done!). I think the trick is to accept a healthy weight range- I tend to work in kilos and accept anything between 56-57.5. If I creep up any further then I would do something about it. And conversely any lower and my face looks gaunt and I feel hungry all the time. If you have changed your lifestyle, which it sounds like you have, then you wont put it all back on. You sound like a perfect weight for your height and your DH will get used to it! !

Thats a good idea with the weight. I will try that. I was going to use my jeans but they could stretch :)

I do exactly the same as ploughingthrough. Weight once a week, if I’m over a certain number I eat more healthily and exercise more until I’m back at a lower number. That way you never have a scary amount to lose.

Well done on losing the weight. We are the same hight and had the same starting weight. I have lost 18lbs so far so I still have a way to go but I want to get down to 10 stone, that’s right in the middle of a healthy bmi for our hight so it’s certainly not too low.

I think we've massively (pun intended) lost sight of what a healthy weight is.

I've lost a load of weight and am now in the healthy range. I'm sort of aiming to be the middle of healthy but that takes me to a weight I was last when I was 18 (before uni weight gain).

I look at what I'd have to weigh to be the lowest bmi in healthy (7 stone 12) and don't think I've weighed that little since puberty! I can't imagine being that little.

But I'm sure there are plenty of naturally petite (vs just short like me!) women who would suit that size.

@mmner31 like others have, if you feel good and are healthy then you're doing it all right so just ignore. Your DH will get used to it soon enough.

Have you started attracting the attention of the male gaze again? Are you anything less than invisible to other men? Is your DP slightly chubby? Have you stopped cooking his favourite things? This is how your weight affects HIM.... I’d give it somebthought.

@PurpleDaisies

I do exactly the same as ploughingthrough. Weight once a week, if I’m over a certain number I eat more healthily and exercise more until I’m back at a lower number. That way you never have a scary amount to lose.

I'm going to certainly do this. Thank you :)

I think it’s more that he feels you are thin for his taste. Perhaps he prefers you with more meat on your bones.

I recently went from 10stone 11 to 9stone 5. I’m 5ft 6.

I feel so slim, felt wonderful. We went on holiday & I wore a bikini, it was great. That was with slimming world.

I found it hard to sustain though, & I’m back up to 10stone 4. I feel really fat, but would never describe my body as toned as you do. I really need to change my diet again.

I suspect of the two of us side by side, I would look bigger than you, but that does not mean you are too thin.

You are at a healthy weight but at 5ft 7inch that weight can make u look thin if your quiet narrow !
I’ve been around that weight same height and everyone said I look to slim !
Try not to worry if your happy at that weight well done thou for losing the weight xx

Only my dad when my bmi went down to around 19.
Sadly it's probably the best I've ever looked but my periods stopped and that was the wake up call I needed to start eating more

I think it depends on your age and how you wear your weight. Sometimes your face can look gaunt before your arse is small if you know what I mean. I did get too thin, 7 stone 5 foot 7, and only one person told me, I thought I looked amazing, I did not.
I did get fat agin, and have lost 2 stone since Christmas, my dh keeps commenting I am getting thin, when in reality I could do with losing another stone at least.

Yes, we are all very honest with each other in my friendship group and they told me that I looked way too thin, and ill. I'm was grieving so t wasn't really intentional but I hadn't noticed and was probably not looking after myself. They still warn me if I go that way again and I appreciate that.

My husband and I are also very honest with each other when it comes to each other's weight, honesty is the best policy in my relationships.

....at 10 st 2 I also look too think (am 5' 7). Even I can see it (although people also tend to comment whenever I get to that weight). People just carry weight really differently.

I usually don't bother commenting as I know people tend to say the same things that have already been said by some on this thread (ie it's not that light etc etc) but as you sound like a really similar build to me just thought I would! :-) (I suspect you probably didn't look insanely overweight at your starting weight?)

"Too thin" is very subjective. Some areas of the UK have higher levels of obesity than others and that usually correlates with a higher general BMI in the population.

Equally, women's average BMI in France and Italy is lower than here, so what is considered too thin and too fat in those countries is quite different.

I don't know where you live, or the general BMI of people around you, but that could certainly feed into your DP's perception of 'normal'.

Alternatively, it could just about you and him - what he likes, what he's used to. Perhaps it's simply the change that's struck him, or perhaps he has a particular taste for curvy women, or perhaps he's a bit chubby himself and now you make him feel self-conscious.

Objectively you don't sound 'too thin' at all, so there's no issue there.

I've had people say that too me.. kind of annoys me really! I remember being at my peak fitness level, I was doing so well and felt so strong. I thought I looked good in my clothes and I was proud of my fitness. I sent my family a picture of me and my friends at a festival and my dad said he couldn't even recognise me I was so skinny. I was eating loads, he just didnt recognise me healthy and fit! I ended up putting on weight for a variety of reasons, then I was pregnant during 2020 and I got very big due to stress and back problems. I'm loosing weight now and I want to be where I was before. Screw what other people think that's where I like to be. As long as you feel good OP that's all that matters. It sounds like your being sensible and not got any disordered eating. As long as you stay a weight that is healthy and you yourself are happy, no issues. Do what you enjoy and feels good.

Weight is carried differently by different people.

It is best if people tell you the truth though, wether that be a DH or a BF I'm lucky to be able to be straight talking with no offence taken with mine, I expect their true opinion.

I think his concerns need to be taken seriously, but if you are a healthy weight with a healthy diet and are happy with the way you look, then that's fine.

My DH lost a lot of weight through lifestyle dietary changes ( pescatarian ) and walking regimen . He felt better and looked well to a certain point, then people started to contact me privately and ask if he was actually ill so I do think some people have a ‘too thin’ interval fulcrum where you tip the balance.

Congratulations on the weight loss!
10 stone for 5'7 is normal, definitely not too thin, but if you've lost over 3 stone it's obvious you will look a lot thinner to people as they were used to seeing you overweight, even obese.
Your DH could be jealous of your weight loss too...

I find these threads interesting as it’s so different how people obviously carry weight etc. I’ve had comments like these in the past and it’s definitely because they’re not used to it.
I’m losing just now and have gone from obese to within the overweight category but cannot imagine me at the lower end of healthy, I’d look ill. I’m 5ft 5 and currently 12st 8 (from 13st 11) aiming for 10.5st which is only just in the healthy weight range. I may feel differently when I get there but I cannot imagine me at 7st for instance but it is still healthy for my height, I’m all boobs and arse though, even at 10st I was a 12-14.

*8st

I didn’t say 10.2 was fat , I said it wasn’t thin because it’s not. It’s an average weight for that height and size 12 clothing

At 5' 7 and 10.2 stones I doubt the OP is a size 12, more like a size 10.

Anyhow @mmner31 I've had the exact same issue from my DH and family (and friends since but they never said anything at the time).

I’m 5’9 and only dropped a stone (to around 68kg so still pretty heavy for my height) but I lost it very quickly through LCHF, i.e. weeks rather than months. I also hammered the gym 5-6 times a week and started lifting heavier weights and so lost weight and gained muscle.

DH made the odd comment about my shape changing but I didn’t think anything of it. When I noticed myself that I’d lost weight from my boobs and bum then I realised that I probably should rein it in a bit. Since I relaxed the food and gym, I put on just a few pounds and everyone has now said I looked too muscly and definitely look better now.

I’d like to think sod ‘em all (!) but if most people I know have agreed that I looked better at a certain point then I have to agree that they’re probably right.