Holiday decline aibu

[Namechange19op]

Worked at my current employer just over 1 year less than 2

Im a single mum one little boy aged 7 my parents and family live in wales and I am in london and his dad isnt around much

Work told me today the holiday I requested for easter school holidays are declined because its over a busy period and they dont allow holidays at that time

I did work there last year at the same busy time but they altered my role to wfh with covid. My job cant really be done at home full time I open post do filing print alot of docs etc and so am back in our office. I asked if I could wfh this time but the tasks i need to do are office based.

The company is small around 20 people and 1 other lady does same job as me but no kids so she doesnt care about holidays ban

Aibu to think this is unfair. I have ZERO help. I earn a pittance (around 11k) work either mornings or afternoons depending on the day.

Senior management are not budging as other people asked for holidays and got declined. Hr is outsourced.

Aibu to think i should be given this time off

Or you could work for one of many organisations who are family friendly.....

so they shut during every school holidays do they?

When each team member is a parent, then each team member is entitled to time off...It's fair, equal and "family friendly".
Plus you don't discriminate against non-parent, they have a life and commitments as anyone else.

It's absolutely ridiculous and and attitude so damaging for mothers who are trying to work.

@dontdisturbmenow

This is the sort of situation that makes me sigh when other women suggest we don’t need feminism any more And this makes me sigh that yet again, it's seen as a sexist matter.

If the poster had said that all males in the organisation were given authorisation for all.of them to go on a fishing trip at a time of high demand, then yes, there would be a case of discrimination.

In this instance, it's not a female vs male, it's a 'no, you can't assume you are automatically entitled to take time off when it suits because you don't want to pay for childcare'.

It is sexist. As I stated it is within the law. I am not suggesting the OP is suffering sex discrimination per se.

But

The law itself is sexist because it is based on the outdated idea that an employee doesn’t have responsibility for childcare - that someone else is at home and able to do it.

And this is a feminist issue because 90% single parent households are female-led.
This pandemic has highlighted the precarious employment situation many parents experience when their regular childcare breaks down due to reasons beyond their control. This is true for men and women - but it is mainly women who suffer the consequences.

Well I'm astonished at some attitudes here - few hours per week for 11k pa - for that money
Yeah, £14 an hour, that's dreadful. Maybe OP can ask to work FT and fi d herself with a decent pay!

Or you could work for one of many organisations who are family friendly....
Which I do. Flexibility doesn't mean that business is put on hold because all employees want to pick their holidays, most likely all wanting the same days.

Family friendly doesn't equate to 'agree to all my demands'.

Your childcare issues are your problem not your works.

@dontdisturbmenow

Well I'm astonished at some attitudes here - few hours per week for 11k pa - for that money Yeah, £14 an hour, that's dreadful. Maybe OP can ask to work FT and fi d herself with a decent pay!

Or you could work for one of many organisations who are family friendly....
Which I do. Flexibility doesn't mean that business is put on hold because all employees want to pick their holidays, most likely all wanting the same days.

Family friendly doesn't equate to 'agree to all my demands'.

No of course it doesn't and I never one suggested it did. It usually doesn't equate to banning leave in school holidays either. There is a middle ground.

The law itself is sexist because it is based on the outdated idea that an employee doesn’t have responsibility for childcare - that someone else is at home and able to do it
It doesn't at all. It is based in the assumption that childcare arrangements will be sought, and if these require pay care, that this is paid out of the family budget and/or benefit available for that purpose.

Why do holiday clubs exist, often arranged by local councils, if indeed the expectations of for all mums to be off work during these 13 weeks?

To give you the leave would open up a whole can of worms for them if others have requested leave.

If I was refused leave and I knew someone else had been given it (regardless of the reason) I would kick up a fuss. Especially if we'd been told there was a blanket ban which suddenly wasn't blanket anymore.

It usually doesn't equate to banning leave in school holidays either
OP didn't say that all requests for leave until now had been refused, just this one.

This is a tough situation especially this year when there aren't holiday clubs running (at least in my area of the country). It's not easy at all to magic up childcare right now especially if you don't have local family or friends. Although the employer has the law on their side it really sucks for single working mums, I feel that given the current circumstances they could be a little more flexible. It's for this reason that I work in a job with no prospects but for a decent employer who does show understanding in these situations.

Tax year end is one of the key high demand times for lot of sectors and most companies restrict leave then. It's just accepted when you go into it.

@dontdisturbmenow

The law itself is sexist because it is based on the outdated idea that an employee doesn’t have responsibility for childcare - that someone else is at home and able to do it It doesn't at all. It is based in the assumption that childcare arrangements will be sought, and if these require pay care, that this is paid out of the family budget and/or benefit available for that purpose.

Why do holiday clubs exist, often arranged by local councils, if indeed the expectations of for all mums to be off work during these 13 weeks?

I think you've got the wrong end of the stick. Holiday clubs exist because of a lack of leave. 4 weeks isn't really enough when your children have 13 weeks and odd days on top. The 20 days thing was created in 1998 and has not changed since then whereas life massively has.

@dontdisturbmenow

It usually doesn't equate to banning leave in school holidays either OP didn't say that all requests for leave until now had been refused, just this one.

Presumably this is every Easter though?

YABU if that’s a busy time of year and leave isn’t possible. It’s not unfair, it’s just that you’re not getting what you want. Having children is a lifestyle choice and you’re trying to make your childcare problem, their problem

@dontdisturbmenow - if that was me & it may very be not ) my point that was with miles apart given we could not afford 24/7 childcare - so just hoped helpful to OP

@EL8888

YABU if that’s a busy time of year and leave isn’t possible. It’s not unfair, it’s just that you’re not getting what you want. Having children is a lifestyle choice and you’re trying to make your childcare problem, their problem

‘Oh you broke your leg in a car accident and can’t come to work? Driving is a lifestyle choice and you’re trying to make your health problem, their problem.’ YABU.

@Namechange19op ignore the haters. Contact your MP

It's just lazy managing Imo.

Do they do the same for every other school holiday? Oh more than one person wants it so no one can?

Most companies manange with no more than one person off per team, it's a two week holiday so that's 4 people per team who could have a week off each. They then dont get first dibs on May holiday. And if you didn't get Easter or May you get first dibs on Summer.

Set a deadline and say everyone has to put on requests for school holiday weeks by X and you'll consider them all fairly, free to put on alternative dates so prefer Summer but will take May etc.

Contact your MP

😂😂😂 WTF for?

MP

I did know about this last year but was wfh so wasnt an issue

You knew about it last year. You've had a year to come up with a plan given you knew you couldn't have the time off.

"Wow. I mean, I just wouldn't do that."

We'll, Gene (great username) it is what millions of people do. Because otherwise they would be out of a job. Mostly men.

If women keep moaning that they can't get leave and that's awkward for childcare, and most men aren't what happens? Yepp. The job market as it is now with women doing the vast majority of parental leave, etc, and taking the hit on their career.

Yes the entire setup is flawed. Bit until we have a LOT more women in the boardrooms this is how it will stay.
And how do we get in those boardrooms? Right now, apparently, in most companies it is to work as though we don't have a family. And push for more family friendly policies and to get men to avail themselves of those policies.

But there will always be companies, big and small, who have to restrict leave at certain periods. And it sucks if that makes your life difficult.

They've been very accommodating in the past - even allowing you to do a completely different role so you could work from home - so it's fair to assume they aren't just being dicks and they really do need all hands on deck at Easter. You have many options including holiday clubs, babysitters, Sitters, your son going to play at a friend's house, possibly bringing him to the office, even delivering him to your ex if he works from home (you said he's self-employed).

@Brefugee

"Wow. I mean, I just wouldn't do that."

We'll, Gene (great username) it is what millions of people do. Because otherwise they would be out of a job. Mostly men.

If women keep moaning that they can't get leave and that's awkward for childcare, and most men aren't what happens? Yepp. The job market as it is now with women doing the vast majority of parental leave, etc, and taking the hit on their career.

Yes the entire setup is flawed. Bit until we have a LOT more women in the boardrooms this is how it will stay.
And how do we get in those boardrooms? Right now, apparently, in most companies it is to work as though we don't have a family. And push for more family friendly policies and to get men to avail themselves of those policies.

But there will always be companies, big and small, who have to restrict leave at certain periods. And it sucks if that makes your life difficult.

Men miss their children's holidays? And you're saying therefore it's okay?

You're blaming women for employers being sexist? Wow.

I’ve been there myself and had to pay a childminder like previous posters have said you can claim Up to 80% via ur working tax. People who don’t have kids have no idea and always moan about people having kids being accommodated. Quite pathetic really lol

I really want to say YANBU but unfortunately it’s just the way it goes. It truly sucks and you have my sympathy though.

Before anyone jumps down my throat not everyone without kids gets annoyed... but a large proportion