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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think hairdressers should try to make you feel good?

146 replies

Opal93 · 10/03/2021 17:43

Writing this thinking of how much I miss my hairdresser 😭 I’ve finally found one who does exactly what I ask and when I leave I feel really good. I can’t wait to finally go! But before I found her, I went to many who seemed to think insulting you is somehow a good business tactic! I also hate it when they begin to criticise the cut/colour you currently have. I once went to one and she said “your roots are a disgrace” erm, that’s what I’m paying you for! What’s your best and worst experiences of the hairdressers and are you excited to finally go after lockdown?

OP posts:
HazelWong · 10/03/2021 17:45

My hair has thinned a lot due to a medical condition and every time I go to the hairdresser, I get comments like "not much here, difficult to do much with this" like they somehow revel in humiliating me/making me feel shit about myself.

NovemberR · 10/03/2021 17:48

@HazelWong

My hair has thinned a lot due to a medical condition and every time I go to the hairdresser, I get comments like "not much here, difficult to do much with this" like they somehow revel in humiliating me/making me feel shit about myself.
Oh that's horrible! I'm so sorry. I had a colleague with the same kind of issues and she once told me she had her hair done in France where the hairdresser kept sneering and saying So ugly! Your hair is SO ugly!

My colleague speaks fluent French and just said humbly to me, But she gave me a good haircut.

I think that's so unkind. Please change your hairdresser. Mine would never dream of being awful to a customer. She's lovely

XenoBitch · 10/03/2021 17:50

It took me until I was in my 30s to go to a hairdresser, and all she did was comment on how terrified I look. I didn't go back. Any I went to since have been the drop in ones, because there is no way I will go if I have an appointment booked. Not even sure I can manage that now after hearing the cruel comments the stylists were making about customers who had just left. I get my mum to trim any split ends off now and I use home hair dye.

cheesebubble · 10/03/2021 17:52

I lost SO MUCH hair after baby 1, I have no clue why but it looked awful and instead of saying, it'll grow back I got. Yes, I've never seen this, that's quite bad, here you can see the regrow that etc and I'm thinking: thanks for making me feel like shit lol

FrostyChocolateMilkshake · 10/03/2021 18:02

My hair is thin as fuck and the hairdressers always talk to you like they pity you. It's horrible.

AlrightTreacle · 10/03/2021 18:03

I had a lovely hairdresser before lockdown; she was lovely and made the best cups of tea. Unfortunately she wasn't very good at cutting hair!

ibblebibbledibble · 10/03/2021 18:05

I hate going to the hairdressers. I treat it as one of life’s necessary evils. Like the dentist. I go to hairdressers about once every 6 months.

Cameleongirl · 10/03/2021 18:05

I had this exact conversation with my hairdresser yesterday ( hair salons are open in the US). I followed her when she left her previous salon, because she was genuinely nice to her clients and listened to them. The old salon is closer to my house, but I couldn’t stand the other stylists, they seemed bitchy and full of themselves - and apparently they were! After knowing her for years, she recently admitted that she hated it there!

Hidethecrisps · 10/03/2021 18:10

Hairdressers aren't cheap so I don't go as often as I should even pre covid and they always make you feel awful if you have long roots or it's the biggest crime ever if you have had the cheek to put a home dye on your own hair. As late teen / early 20 something going to the hairdresser felt like a treat, these days in my 40s it's frankly something I have to really force myself to do. Its the last way I want to spend half one of my precious days off on.

Biribift · 10/03/2021 18:11

Another one that hates having my hair cut. Every stylist seems to enjoy telling me what bad condition my hair is in, it makes me feel shit.
I always go last minute to hairdressers because I keep wanting to back out.

firstimemamma · 10/03/2021 18:12

Had a student hair dresser when I was a teenager. He kept snagging my earring and it really hurt so I tried really nicely and discreetly to ask him to stop and he turned to face everyone else and said to them all in a really loud voice (after sighing dramatically) "she's being really dramatic about her ear!!" I died inside.

PatchworkElmer · 10/03/2021 18:17

I love my hairdresser! She’s great- doesn’t exactly what I want, makes suggestions when I ask for them.

My previous hairdresser (who I’d been going to for 6 years) cut my hair into brutally short graduated bob (from armpit length) after I had DS. Then the next time I saw her I said “no shorter- I need to be able to tie it up and it’s too much work at the moment.” She cut it even shorter (got a razor out for the back!!!) I hated it and vain as it sounds, I cringe when I look at photos of myself with baby DS because it looks so awful! It’s taken 4 years to grow back. Never again.

PatchworkElmer · 10/03/2021 18:18

That should be “does exactly what I want” 🤦🏻‍♀️

Pukkatea · 10/03/2021 18:18

I walked out of a hair appointment after the stylist started shouting across the salon to her coworker to come and look at how bad my hair dye was. I walked out and wrote a letter to the owner that I would be going to a different salon from then on because their staff humiliated me. No response.

I had a guy do my hair once and it looked frizzy as hell once he was done, which is difficult as I have extremely fine, silky hair without any texture at all. I asked for serum and he told me no because my hair was too thin and flat.

museumum · 10/03/2021 18:19

I have my hair cut at a yoga studio / well-being sort of place and they’re so lovely. All about feeling good not at all about shallow vanity / bitchiness. I love it. I get gel toes there too and it’s the ONLY place I’d ever consider that or any other kind of “treatment” because beauticians scare me.

Pukkatea · 10/03/2021 18:20

I love my current hairdresser though - she said my hair was strong and weighty. Thank you my hair goes to the gym.

Lostinthewilderness · 10/03/2021 18:21

Admittedly I rarely visit hairdressers because I’ve got such crap hair & I find it depressing spending £££££ only for it to still look crap, but yes they are often rude about my hair Sad

Crimeismymiddlename · 10/03/2021 18:28

It’s so rare to find a nice, and good hairdresser. I won’t be going back to my last salon because they replaced my usual hairdresser-who did not chat at all, heaven! With a young man who told me I had a ‘Karen’ haircut and proceeded to integrate me for the entire wash and cut. Not a bad cut, but horrible experience. The one before that was ok for a year but the last time I went really put the hard sell on to me to get my hair chemically straightened, something I have considered over the years but have decided against. She was obviously annoyed at me. Hair dressers before that won’t tell me where the lovely hairdresser I had there went. Once got thrown out of a hairdresser because the hairdresser they gave me could not do long to short re styles, when I had been very specific on booking that it was a long to short restyle, they did not apologise or offer an alternative appointment, day or stylist and it was clear they felt I had caused a huge problem-They made me feel so small and awful. It was my birthday as well! Was a regular at a salon for ten years and finally settled on a stylist, six or so identical cuts that I was happy with she then gave me a cut so bad I was traumatised and had to get done elsewhere to fix it.
That and the many hairdressers who don’t believe that I know my hair and what works and what does not and sort of sneer at me. The hairdressers that seem to be against very short hair on a women and hairdressers that give what I call a ‘cheap’ cut when I am paying over the odds.
There is an amazing hairdresser in my home town though, lovely, great stylist and a treat compared to the usual. I thought I was the only one who had hairdresser trouble!

SpuriouserAndSpuriouser · 10/03/2021 18:30

I have had several really lovely hairdressers over the years who’ve obviously cared a lot about your experience as a client but I suppose for a lot of people it’s a job like any other, and not everyone is good at their job. Plus if I think about the girls I was at school with who went on to become hairdressers/beauticians they were not necessarily kind, emotionally intelligent people who you might expect to deal with someone who is feeling insecure about their appearance with tact and sensitivity.

IEat · 10/03/2021 18:31

Hair coloured in a salon I regularly went to.. no lie but it went bright orange (like kathy Burke in gimme gimme gimme) and I had a bloody interview that day. The man also straightened my hair and caught me on my neck it looked like a love bite.
I didn’t get the job. I never go to hairdressers now. I you tube a cut and do it myself and I dye it myself too.

Youllbeoldertoo · 10/03/2021 18:33

I’ve never had any Critical comments about my hair, but I’ve had waxers be rude before, I just say look I’m paying you here. You’re not doing me a favour and that shuts them up.

BestestBrownies · 10/03/2021 18:33

What is it about the salon experience that feels so intimidating? Why is it made into such a palaver that takes hours? Why do the mirrors/lighting always make me look so fucking hideous? Why is it always so bloody hot/badly ventilated and chemical-smelling? Why is it so cripplingly expensive yet crushingly disappointing?

I used to use a barber when I had short hair. Stroll in when passing (no appointment), quick 1min consultation about what you want done, in the chair for 15min max with minimal chitchat, quick brush and done for under £20 (some places as little as £10).

Yet another example of how men’s lives are made easier.

Roussette · 10/03/2021 18:42

At my last hairdressers, it's the sort of place where you can sometimes just walk in and have a quick trim.

Last time I went, the stylist said to me.. 'Oh my god, where did you have this done last time? It's an AWFUL cut.'

Me.... 'Here actually'

Cue... silence and embarrassment.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 10/03/2021 18:46

@Youllbeoldertoo

I’ve never had any Critical comments about my hair, but I’ve had waxers be rude before, I just say look I’m paying you here. You’re not doing me a favour and that shuts them up.
You sound delightful.
Magicbabywaves · 10/03/2021 18:50

Youllbeoldertoo
I’ve never had any Critical comments about my hair, but I’ve had waxers be rude before, I just say look I’m paying you here. You’re not doing me a favour and that shuts them up.
You sound delightful.

Did you miss the part where she said waxers had been rude to her?

My hair is fine, not thin, but also curly so it is tricky to work with, but I had a hairdressers practically sneering at ‘how thin’ it was and that I should get a treatment. I was so upset afterwards and everyone told me it wasn’t true, but it actually led to years of worry and paranoia. These things run deep.