Being forced to go to contact centre on mother's day

[Pebbledashery]

Despite giving over two months notice to ask for a change of date.
Just fed up of it.
Always going to be controlled my this abuser :(

I mean reduci g you to lieing wouldn't be ideal ... but easily covering you this once.

There's no reasoning with scum like him. It's just learning to not expect it.

Exactly that Pebble, and you're getting there

@Laeta

I loathe deceit and lies, but blimey OP. I'm sure I can see a bit of a flush on your face .... are you sure you don't have a temperature.

Get yourself booked in for a test on Saturday!

Same

You know that mother's Day is a religious holiday right? On the grounds of that you have every right to refuse to drive and want to respect that religious holiday of rest for mother's. You don't need nor should they expect proof of such religion , as you are British and someone who celebrates mother's day, Christianity would be your expected religion regardless of whether you've been baptised or set foot in a church ever.
Just stand your ground.

I think I just gave him too much power early on 😢

I'd not be surprised if he didn't turn up this time, just to inconvenience you.
You'll get there, eventually.

He'll turn up. He's that nasty. Do you know what's equally as horrific.. I'm court ordered to pay half the cost of the contact centre.. A single parent on a low wage who receives no maintenance whatsoever from him.
You'd think he was the domestic abuse victim.

I have no words of comfort OP, but don’t forget, Fathers Day this year might fall on your day and then you can be as “accommodating” as he has been.

Book a covid test now. Shove morals.

Father's day does fall on his contact weekend unfortunately if we keep to the same pattern but I can feel a cold coming on sometime in April or May 😏

What a massive fucker.
It’s just a day... you get all the rest of the days and that’s what she will remember xxx

Putting aside
Mother’s Day a lot has changed OP
You have got away from him
You barely see him
He doesn’t have joint custody
He ONLY sees child in contact Center

And you did that ! So bloody well done . Try and remember a savage argument you once had
If you transport yourself back I bet you never imagines you would yet this far

So hold onto that . Yes he is ruining Mother’s Day
That’s because he can , and he is a nasty piece of shit
But he is your EX

Hold onto that
You won here , not him

That's a lovely last post pp.

@Pebbledashery

Father's day does fall on his contact weekend unfortunately if we keep to the same pattern but I can feel a cold coming on sometime in April or May 😏

Honestly don't rise to him let him have his contact.

My ExH soon got bored and now has even less contact than the court order (his choice), so keep at it and it'll be fine.

No don't do that for father's Day and give him ammo.

Do it this weekend. You're not well.

I think you're exactly right yo be the honest and upstanding one. No, it won't get you anywhere with him. But it will make his poor behavior even clearer to the courts and avoids him having any opportunity to muddy the waters. Keep yourself squeaky clean, this is a long process and the truth will become ever clearer.

Also, be as boring as possible in every way possible. If he isn't getting any fun from his attempts to upset you, he'll be fairly likely to get bored and vanish at some point.

Thank you @thisisworsethananticpated that means a lot. Xx
No, I was only joking. I'd never sink to his depths. He's scum of the earth. You are right.. It is about playing the long game.. What really upsets me is just the lengths he's going to to deceive the court he's the victim and I'm the abuser. My solicitor even told me he makes her feel physically sick and they aren't supposed to give you their personal opinion on matters! His barrister expects him to be fully exonerated for being falsely accused of domestic abuse!!!

Is it supervised contact? So the whole visit will be documented by one of practitioners at the centre and used as evidence in any further proceedings either by social services or the courts. You should attend, be absolutely punctual, behave impeccably (as I imagine you would anyway). Remember this is evidence towards your case so forget about mother's Day. They will be looking at his interactions with your daughter, he can't fake a good relationship with her and hopefully they will see that. If he's late to the appointment or doesn't turn up, that will be used as evidence. See this as determining your daughter's future care, so play your A game, don't look like someone who is obstructing the process. You're a good mum, so let everyone see that

You already have social services on your side or you wouldn't have been moved and supervised contact been put in place. So just see this as another evidence gathering session. He will trip himself up sooner or later as like you said, he doesn't care about your DD, he's abused her, he just wants to hurt you, the mask will slip sooner or later.

@Pebbledashery

Thank you *@thisisworsethananticpated* that means a lot. Xx No, I was only joking. I'd never sink to his depths. He's scum of the earth. You are right.. It is about playing the long game.. What really upsets me is just the lengths he's going to to deceive the court he's the victim and I'm the abuser. My solicitor even told me he makes her feel physically sick and they aren't supposed to give you their personal opinion on matters! His barrister expects him to be fully exonerated for being falsely accused of domestic abuse!!!

My exh tried to look like he'd made it up, accused me of all sorts, used everything he could against me.

Court still only awarded bare minimum of unsupervised contact, he doesn't even use that now 3 years out of court.

I absolutely have the upper hand too. Good luck tomorrow, hold your head high and remember you're the better person as you don't tell lies xxx

Yes, supervised visits in contact centre. He's getting positive reports because apparently asking DD if she needs to use the loo and giving her a sandwich for lunch presents a tremendous relationship.. The contact supervisor did tell me though the only reason she's having positive contact was because of me and how she's been bought up etc.. Which made me quite emotional. I guess it doesn't matter how positive contact goes, he's still a violent and abusive man who caused us to flee with intervention from social services.. They doesn't happen to every day normal people.
I just worry about the future with him not knowing where we live.. I couldn't possibly live my life with him knowing where we live and terrorising me.

Oh op, I remember your other thread. I'm so sorry he is still doing this.

Really am trying to stay positive and remember that I get every day with DD but its tough. Its just what mothers day means to me that's all and would've been the first one away from him but now it's not x