Completely do-able to live in a TFF with 2 kids?

[FirstladyKirkman]

AIBU to think it's perfectly acceptable/do-able?

It's a 3 bed, and even though it's a TFF it has its own private garden. DH doesn't think it's suitable for us with 2 DDs (7 & 2), but then he has unobtainable aspirations of a 3 bed semi with garage and garden.

We are in the SE so budget wise we are limited to what we can afford, and its currently 30k under what we have got AIP wise from the bank.

What’s a TFF?

Yes, what IS a TFF?

Top Floor Flat.

Top floor flat? Are these real or theoretical children? Are you and they in good health? I’d imagine when they’re non mobile babies is worst when you’ve got the logistics of getting car seats/pushchairs up and down the stairs. It might not be optimal, but I think it’s doable. I don’t imagine your children will thank you for taking on more debt than you can manage.

Top floor of how many? Is there a lift?

Real kids, both completely mobile too.

I wouldn’t. Keep looking for a house.

@TestingTestingWonTooFree

No lift. There's two below.

If there’s no other options; you’ll make it work, but it wouldn’t be my first choice.

@osirus

We've been waiting 2 years for a house. None in our price range and currently throwing £1000 a month away in rent 🙄

I've done a TFF with a 4yo and a baby in a pram... it was fine, but not ideal.

I actually think it's 1000 times harder when they get older. No running. No jumping. No dancing. No dragging a barbie jeep across the floor etc. I'm constantly wary that our noise is affecting our downstairs neighbours.

When we first moved in I got daily complaints from the couple down below. They moved out and the new family has never complained (I hear their baby most nights) but I still feel like I'm constantly telling off my kids (now 10 and 6) for stomping or running etc.

I cannot, CANNOT wait to have a house. Literally counting the days. And if it was a choice between a 3 bed flat or a 2 bed house I'd take the house.

It's not ideal but you need to weigh it up against the alternatives. Where would you live if not there?

No, I wouldn’t. I’d hold out for a house. Especially if you’re renting a house at the moment?

Can you physically carry a tantrumming two year old plus your pushchair up two flights of stairs? Plus a bag of shopping? Even when you’re tired? Can you get heavy shopping delivered ? Can your 2year old walk up and down the stairs safely if you have your hands full of shopping ? Can you store the pushchair downstairs somewhere ? Are you planning any more kids and how will that affect the getting up and down the stairs situation ? I think it’s doable but probably harder work than you imagine.

It’s fine. We’ve always lived in flats, from when the kids were small. I think it is because the Brits are not used to flats that they moan about the noise all the time. You get used to general living noises, babies crying, the odd row. Obviously don’t let the kids roller skate in the apartment! We used to go to the park a lot when mine were small, or long walks/skate along the pavements.

How do you think that people in cities where apartment living is the norm, like Paris, Vienna, Warsaw, and most of Central Europe cope? We just get on with it, with the shopping and kids!

We live in a 3 bed top floor flat with two children. It doesn't have a garden but it does have a terrace.

We love the flat and the location. Nevertheless since DC2 has arrived we are desperate to move. It's impractical and annoying. I'm desperate to get into a house and feel stupid for thinking a flat would be fine with kids (when you have the privilege of choice, of course ).

Don't do it

of course it's doable! sometimes perfection is the enemy of good enough and all that. this is your chance to get on the property ladder, don't miss it. I was in a flat until my eldest was 2, there wasn't a lift, I managed, I got a maclaren instead of a huge massive heavy pram, it wasn't rocket science. if the actual location is desirable and in demand I'd go for it.

Plenty of people live in flats with children. Personally I would do it, just to get on the property ladder. If you find it absolutely unbearable you then have the option to sell up and move on.

2 year old doesn't go in a pram anymore. She hates it and walks everywhere. Not too concerned about noise as we currently live in a relatively new build and the walls are paper thin. I'm trying to explain to DH that it's not a forever home. It's our chance to get on the ladder, but he's worried about his age and mortgages etc. I don't see we have any other choice though as we can't move areas due to childminding issues and he is adamant we don't move from the area. It's a very much in demand area as it's a village location on the main Brighton to London line. We can't afford what he wants though and instead of looking at other options he just sulks because he can't have it. Really starting to piss me off!!!

I think it is absolutely fine. My family was good friends with a family in Paris, that family and all their friends were raised in apartments. I lived on the third floor of an amazing building when younger, would have happily raised a family there. Having your own garden makes a big difference.

UK is obsessed with houses as opposed to quality housing.

Plenty of people manage it. Plenty of people choose it. In many countries, apartments are preferred over houses. As long as you aren’t needing to drag a pushchair up and down several flights of stairs, it’s fine.

No running. No jumping. No dancing. No dragging a barbie jeep across the floor etc

Unless you’re in a detached property with no adjoining walls, your neighbours will thank you for not letting your children run, jump, shout or dance about like elephants in a house as much as a flat. That’s outdoor behaviour.

Im on a first floor flat so only 1 set of stairs, have a toddler and another on the way. Completely doable. Helps if you can keep the pram in the boot. Obviously things get much easier once they can walk , but lugging them up the stairs is only temporary

The bottom line is that you can’t have it all.
The house
The staying where you are
The cheap price
And not a flat because you know.. flat.

Something will have to give. I’d go for the flat.