"A very uninspiring woman"

[forinborin]

So, I was called just that, in the context that hardly would make me want to go and interrogate the person who said that further (it was a communication mistake, I was never expected to see it).

English is my second language and I am not yet perfectly fluent. I mean, I know the dictionary definition, but curious about (British) cultural nuances too. If you were to think about another woman as "uninspiring", what would you mean, in simpler terms? Mumsy? Plain looking? Domesticated? Unintelligent? Poor conversationalist? Unambitious? Anything else?

I mean, I am probably all of the above, and it is so hard to choose - but I need to decide how exactly offended should I be

@araiwa

I'd think uninspiring

Totally helpful. I'm sure OP appreciates the wisdom.

I'd think not good at motivating, exciting, encouraging or inspiring others to do better.

Eh well... in this particular case it probably goes both ways. The person saying this is indeed a high-energy type and always very active - daily teambuilding, let's hitchhike to Siberia for charity tomorrow kind of person. I am more homely and quiet, to be honest.

@forinborin Interesting I had this image of the person. It's usually people who are 'go, go, go, achievement this, motivation that' who would label someone as dull or boring or uninspiring as if their temperament or personality is what EVERYONE should be or aspire to and anything else is less than. They don't realise people with a different temperament still achieve as much or even more just in their own way.

It's either those sort of people or people who are jealous or envious or insecure or probably thick who think labelling someone or something as boring, dull or uninspiring is the worst insult or put-down and it makes them feel better about themselves.

So I suppose this person is the former or both. I'd pay it no mind.

I also find the whole TED Talks conundrum unsettling.

To me, 'being inspired' implies an element of spontaneity and revelation. An 'eureka' moment, if you like. The forceful commoditisation of 'inspiration' is weird.

I've managed to watch a few videos from different countries. Some of the speakers were ok, but the way in which everything is so similarly staged and scripted is distracting and generally off-putting.

@turquoisewaters

I also find the whole TED Talks conundrum unsettling.

To me, 'being inspired' implies an element of spontaneity and revelation. An 'eureka' moment, if you like. The forceful commoditisation of 'inspiration' is weird.

I've managed to watch a few videos from different countries. Some of the speakers were ok, but the way in which everything is so similarly staged and scripted is distracting and generally off-putting.

I agree. I watched one the other day and thought: speed up! They speak sooo slowly and over emphasise and put in pauses for laughs that don't come or ask questions of the audience and nod emphatically, assuming the audience will agree which makes me immediately want to disagree.

It's the type of remark a really pompous person would make.

Someone who had an enormous, seriously over inflated view of themselves.

The sort of person that privately people might say a complete pain in the ass and whom one would actively avoid.

The type of person that if you found you had to fly somewhere for a meeting and ye would have to fly somewhere together, you would quietly mouth "fxxk" to yourself.

I agree with whoever suggested that you ask them for feedback on exactly how you should become more inspirational.

Then cc the entire thread of emails widely.

Should soften their cough hugely.

Rude, pompous twat.

You sound lovely OP.

I've called a meal I've cooked uninspiring when its been very bland and uninteresting. Never a person

Just had another thought here .

Given that they followed the comment with a grin, could they actually have intended to be ironic - and they actually think you are inspiring ?

Glad it wasn't too upsetting op. It has provoked an interesting discussion.
Maybe just say as reply to their dating the email wasn't for you... "Well none of us are perfect, as we can see "
Leaving it nicely ambiguous as to whether you believe her it wasn't about you and reminding her that no-one is above criticism. Might just make her a little more humble.

Saying not dating 🙄

@turquoisewaters

I also find the whole TED Talks conundrum unsettling.

To me, 'being inspired' implies an element of spontaneity and revelation. An 'eureka' moment, if you like. The forceful commoditisation of 'inspiration' is weird.

I've managed to watch a few videos from different countries. Some of the speakers were ok, but the way in which everything is so similarly staged and scripted is distracting and generally off-putting.

I think you have hit on the solution to the problem though. Forinborin: you need to speak slowly while pacing around the room in a deliberate fashion telling an anecdote that will end on a sudden realisation that leads to the question "what if we turned the whole question on its head. what if we did it... differently". At a key point you need to take a looong pause while you drink a glass of water and then resume the pacing. At the end, eyeball your audience and refer back to the moment of realisation in your earlier anecdote. End with an amazing soundbite and a deep expression and then look modest while the standing ovation occurs.

Just do this in all your social interactions and you will be Inspiring! Or have no friends. Either/or

@notawittyname1954

I've called a meal I've cooked uninspiring when its been very bland and uninteresting. Never a person

Interesting to compare with when we apologise for cooking an uninspiring meal - although it's something we often think to be uninspired , maybe it's something we cook every week, or cook when we are tired etc - but very often our families say that's their favourite meal .

In today's society, importance is placed on being charismatic and vibrant, on being keen to embrace a leadership position. But some people are naturally more low-key and can provide an equally useful service to humanity in their own way.

Extra brownie points if you can include the line "And the reason I know this is because that little girl was.... .... .... .... .... .... .... me"

Something similar was said about me when I was in a technical sales role. My customers liked and trusted me as I tried to find (and sell them) solutions to their problems rather than forever trying to get them to buy things they didn't need. My sales were always on or above target.

The new (young) management then employed someone 20 years younger, a couple of stone slimmer and who knew nothing about the product. No idea if it worked - I moved on and never looked back.

@apalledandshocked

@Labobo

assuming the audience will agree which makes me immediately want to disagree

Exactly!

OP I am so sorry , that’s a pretty horrible thing to say . You say though that English is not your first language and you are not fluent . I would struggle to be inspiring in any language other than English and can manage little more than school girl French. If you are functioning in the workplace in a language that isn’t your own then you are achieving a lot more than most .

Being trapped in a broken lift with a clutch of dynamic go-getters would be one of my worst nightmares. I'm pretty sure I'd rather have the OP's company.

@apalledandshocked

It's really immature of them, really.

As another "uninspiring" woman i am offended on your behalf! I wonder what is so inspirational about the person writing it!!!

Horrible! I'm so sorry. If it's any comfort, it's a pretty shit insult -- the person who said it perhaps was struggling to find anything they could pin on you. Something can be uninspiring. But VERY uninspiring, the superlative, doesn't make a lot of sense. My cooking is perfectly edible but pretty uninspiring most of the time. It could be better. It could also be a lot worse: disgusting, repellent, poisonous....

Uninspiring is a word people reach for when rejecting job candidates, in my experience. It means 'we found someone we liked better', or 'not a brilliant interview'. But it's also pretty vague. It doesn't mean 'unemployable' or 'not up to it'.

Annoyingly, it's also a word that men love using about women. They mean 'not flashy', 'not alpha', 'not driven'. I've been on hiring committees where brilliant but shy and understated female applicants were called uninspiring.

Ah OP, years ago someone in a professional context described me as bland and "neither here nor there, not one thing or the other". I have to say it made me chuckle rather than angry.

It was someone I had to meet with weekly and admittedly I didn't really bring much to the table when we had our meetings because ironically enough I just found her really boring (uninspiring even!) and couldn't be bothered to make an effort

It's rude. Who are they to judge? I'd interpret it as a bit dull. But you know some of us don't feel we have to perform or seek approval. We save our inspirational moments for those we like.

It's a harsh description no matter the context. But the context is everything.

Generally speaking, if I was to call someone uninspiring, they don't have any thoughts/achievements that encourage me to do better - but thinking on that, iI probably would say many are uninspiring, but I don't think so and further to that, I could call 3 of my friends uninspiring - retail store manager, professional photographer and hairdresser, I've no interest in doing their job roles so I'm not inspired by them.... but they inspire me in different ways on other levels. I guess that links into your updates with it being in a semi professional email context. Honestly OP they sound rude and thoughtless, not exactly inspiring themselves there.