Husband's pants

[NoGoodOptions]

Hello!
So, I'm in a bit of a dispute with my DH. He was upset not to have clean pants ready in his drawers. Laundry is one of my chores (We split the housework between he and I, but I still end up doing more as I keep things running day to day with all the cooking, laundry, dishes). I didn't consider it such a big deal for him to fetch a pair from the dryer and carry on drying it quickly using our blow dryer. But he flipped and has been going on about it for the past two days, interrogating me about whether he will have clean pants in his drawer or if he'll have to blow dry another pair tomorrow? Eventually I lost my patience and said if he were that concerned, he could wash them himself. He flipped and dropped his tea and cup all over the kitchen floor (threw his toys out of the pram). I don't get it. There have been plenty of times in my life where I've needed to hand wash or quickly dry items of clothing. I earn three times what he does, so it's not like this is my contribution to the house. Just now I told him that I wasn't tidying the tea fro. The floor, he said he'd already done it but then said we weren't going to eat lunch together and got really cross. I mean, this is childish, right? I'm still doing his laundry and he now has a dozen pairs of pants in his drawer so I really don't get the upset. I'm generally very forgiving and understanding and believe in being happy rather than right... but how can I be wrong about this???

[Wnikat]

The time for him to let you know he was short on pants was surely when he got his last clean pair out, not when he'd already run out?

[MuddleMoo]

What does he do?

I'd reallocate washing his pants to him.

[Robintakeover]

I wouldn’t want to have to use a hair dryer to dry pants if someone hadn’t washed them ... but neither would I throw my tea on the floor - buy more pants ?

[MuddleMoo]

Or give him a sticker chart so he knows when to tell you he needs more pants.

[britnay]

I don't get how you can do a load of washing every day yet you've somehow ended up with two weeks worth of pants not being washed? You need to learn how to prioritize. A tablecloth getting washed is not as important as clothing that is worn every day. For a family of four, you should be able to do the entire household's clothing every two days, which leaves alternate days to do towels, bedding etc.

[blahfuckingblah]

Why is anyone "assuming a fair division of labour" when it is clear from the OP that this is not the case? What big ticket items are left after all the laundry, all the cooking, all the dishes, all the driving, being the main breadwinner and (until today) homeschooling 2 primary age children? Sticking the bins out once a week and the occasional bit of weeding doesn't really cut it, I'm afraid.

[TwoLeftSocksWithHoles]

@MuddleMoo

I like the sound of Emergency Pants in a glass-front cabinet with a small hammer on a chain?

[Sugarbelle]

gobsmacked that anyone thinks the husband in this situation is reasonable. it's fine to be annoyed or upset about something. do you know what's not fine? to smash something on the floor and sulk about it for 2 days.

its worrying that this even has to be pointed out. it's the way I have to talk to my children.

[blahfuckingblah]

I don't get how you can do a load of washing every day yet you've somehow ended up with two weeks worth of pants not being washed?

Why can't people read? They were washed. They hadn't yet fully dried.

[MuddleMoo]

Oh yes the smashing stuff and sulking for days is definitely not OK.

[frazzledasarock]

Shockingly in our house if either DH or I notice we’re running low on a clothing item, we bloody do the laundry.

In our house at least a vagina is not necessary to do the laundry.

[blahfuckingblah]

Can't believe some of these posts. Is it International Women's Day or International Handmaid's Day?

[mrsm43s]

If laundry was my DH's dedicated job, and despite having plenty of pairs of pants, none of mine were washed and dried, I'd be pretty pissed off. Laundry is a pretty basic job, and there is no reason why an adult cannot do it efficiently - or ask for help if for some reason they are unable to do the job that is their agreed responsibility.

As a grown adult, I would not expect to be blow drying pants in the morning! Nor would I expect to have to check up that the other adult in my household had done what they had agreed to do.

I absolutely would not be throwing cups of tea on the floor though. If he deliberately threw it - that is worrying. If he accidentally knocked it off a surface, or it slipped out of his hand - a whole different matter - but still it would be up to him to clean it up.

If you think you are doing too much - renegotiate the division of tasks. If not, then just do what you have agreed to do.

[FamBae]

Many years ago my late husband ran out of pants & wore swimming trunks to work, I did feel a little guilty as washing was generally done by me but he took it on the chin and didn't throw a tantrum. I also bought him extra pants so that it wouldn't happen again

[HelloDulling]

I really want to know how many pairs of pants a stranger’s husband owns. I’d have to be very, very behind with the laundry for anyone to be pantless.

[mainsfed]

What is he doing, OP? It doesn't sound like an even split, you're working full time and doing the most time consuming jobs - laundry, cooking and dishes.

What's left, running a vacuum cleaner once a week and taking the bins out?

He has had it easy for so long. You need to give him either the cooking or laundry.

[SplendidSuns1000]

I'm a housewife, I do every chore but if my husband found I hadn't washed his undercrackers he'd just do it himself. Your husband is a petulant child who needs to work out that if he's going to slack on doing his chores, he may be finding himself knickerless more often.

I'd suggest getting him a designated sippy cup that won't make a mess when he drops it next time he has a strop.

[YoniAndGuy]

You're earning the lions share.

Chores are supposed to be split but you end up doing more.

Um. Fuck his pants.

[Truthlikeness]

His behaviour was inappropriate and over the top. I've had to dry things or put them on slightly damp many times. Sounds like he's trying to remind you of your wifely duties. Does he resent the fact you out-earn him?

[mainsfed]

People advising OP to buy him more pants are spectacularly missing the point.

[toolatetofixate]

Why are the majority of posters missing the point that it's never appropriate to throw a tantrum, smash a cup of tea on the floor, and then berate your partner for days afterwards?

He's a fucking tube behaving like that. Jesus Christ, Pantsgate.

[MessagesKeepGettingClearer]

There are two issues here;

1. pants. Yes, if it's your chore then you should have done them. Having to blow dry pants in the morning is annoying and having clean underwear is a basic.
   
   
2. him dropping his cup and tea on the floor. Eeer what?!?! Who does that. That's not just throwing toys out of the pram. It's a disproportionate response which is imo aggressive and upsetting. Do you find that acceptable? I'm really surprised this isn't the main point of your point to be honest.
   
   He needs more pants if one wash renders his pants unavailable.
   
   He needs therapy if his response to a laundry blunder is to chuck around drinks and cups.

[Iminaglasscaseofemotion]

What an absolute prick. He would have nothing else washed by me. I could see being a bit miffed if it's one of your chores, but that's a ridiculous reaction.

[Iminaglasscaseofemotion]

@CleverCatty

What I'd do to ensure DH has clean pants - is buy him some more - e.g. have lots of back up pairs (I do this with my knickers) so he always has a spare pair.

It's not the end of the world not washing and drying pants and his reaction is way over the top.

What you should do to ensure your dp has pants ready is let him buy them himself because he's a grown man, presumably with access to money.