Instagram mums...

[JillBob]

What are your thoughts? Are they good for the mental health of mothers or damaging? Personally I know of a couple who are showing a veneer of an amazing life being a mother but underneath they are completely struggling and put out a completely false facade. Had I seen or be following these in the early years of my life I would have taken them to heart and questioned myself and my parenting. Do you follow or ignore?

What about the mosquito of parenting ‘experts’... the Fletchers

Social media is completely false and insta is the WORST.
It’s not only so called ‘influencers’ who are portraying the perfect family life... I know people who are still putting crap out there when their life is nothing like their profile. Like the friend who’s husband is leaving her and she still posts about how perfect her life is. And he’s on her profile photo It riles me. It’s not real peeps!

I've never followed them, but have caught quick glimpses of the ones that home school (voluntarily!) and bake everything themselves... while looking perfect! yawn Life's too short.

I'm just not that interested in other people's "mumming" on instagram . One I used to follow because she is amazing at sewing, happened to be a mum and was always saying she couldn't cope with her kids or complaining about them. I think she was being real, but it was sad to read that she would rather be sewing than spending quality time with them. Kids are only little for such a short time. I ended up unfollowing her because her feed was so full of drama (and her insta name was "beautiful life" or something!)

@CheshireDing I follow James VanderBeek too as I used to watch Dawson’s Creek what do you think of him and his family?

They make me sad for them and the child, those styled pictures of their children, horrible

I think it is more normal to use Instagram to celebrate what you're thankful for and to focus on the good parts of life. After all, who wants to read about someone full of angst and trauma or see a dirty house? We all have those sometimes and its not anything inspiring is it.

The clue is in the title social "media" All media is twisted to show a certain view. Even if its a realistic one you will only see a snippet of it.

part time working mummy....what a total car crash that is!!!

One insta mum captioned her photo and called her kids dicks. They are the worst ones!!!!- who try and slate their children in order to look “normal” or to put across parenting is hard.

So fake- I’m sure it is hard for you to parent having millions of freebies come through the door and loads of money for ads whilst your at home. Giveover!

Although I couldn’t skate cottenstem if I tried- she is in America and I in the U.K. but she really is just a normal person who got lucky and she knows it- she is genuine modest and also keeps a lot of aspects of her kids private- all instamums should take a lesson from her!

I'm shocked that the trolling one is still on insta, I mean surely the shame is unbearable?!! Crazy

which trolling one?

I follow a few and enjoy their content but you have to take it with a pince of salt.

My observation is that you basically have to be wealthy to get started, so you can get the content that piques interest (or basically makes people envious). Beautiful house to photograph, holidays, aspirational stuff.

I also find it bizarre how easily people want to pimp out their kids as cheap marketing tools for massive brands. For something worth a few hundred pounds, you turn your infant into a advertisement. Honestly why? Pimp out your own family for Tesco or Hallmark. Fair enough big accounts make big money but people are falling over themselves to do this.

There was one page last week where the mum said "school is purely just social, I'm dc's main educator" or words to that effect... She then had a whole load of (sponsored) resources to show how she educates her child in addition to any schooling he/she receives... She reiterates it has always been that way even when schools are open she does a better job herself with her trusty resources... Just what one wants to hear on a day when the printer goes kaput, dc are fighting & I have 2 conference calls...

An ex of mine has started an Instagram account about his kids. It just makes me think he’s a bigger knobhead than I remembered.

@GirlCrush the midwife one

Oh I see. I’ve not seen her but her husband is still active. He doesn’t show as much of the kids these days, it’s a bit toned down

@MammabearX1

There was one page last week where the mum said "school is purely just social, I'm dc's main educator" or words to that effect... She then had a whole load of (sponsored) resources to show how she educates her child in addition to any schooling he/she receives... She reiterates it has always been that way even when schools are open she does a better job herself with her trusty resources... Just what one wants to hear on a day when the printer goes kaput, dc are fighting & I have 2 conference calls...

Mum boasting is pretty tiresome really! I also know someone who thinks she is doing a better job than the school was.

Maybe she really is ( and missed her vocation as a teacher!) or maybe she's having a shit time and putting a brave face on. To be honest, I am always a bit suspicious of people who try to make out they are doing really well because often they really are not and it's all about keeping up appearances.

Weirdly sugar free blitz this intsamum is also a teacher (we probably have the same page) but the basic just is that her dc are so far ahead of the cirriculam due to her taking their education into her own hands...

& school is ONLY for socialising.... She is responsible for education...

@MammabearX1 wow I dont know what to say! Speechless!

If anyone is looking at insta mums and judging them or themselves then that's on them.

Obviously no one is going to post there kid having a tantrum or themselves crying at 2 am due to lack of sleep. That's personal business so how dare people make out that they are fake because they put out and share the happy moments of there life.

They have clean houses? Would you share a picture of a dirty house?
There kids are dressed? Would you share a picture of your kids undressed all over social media?

The problem isn't with social media influences or mums it's with society and how people perceive things. If a mum is judging herself based on pictures of another family then she needs to leave social media or learn that nothing is black and white and hardly no one shares the bad things about anything.

AND the fact that maybe a family is perfect, maybe they are rich and clean and happy and perfect but there will always be someone better than you even if your super perfect there is likely to be someone upping you somewhere but does it really matter? Most of us are all just trying to raise our babies right aand sure there are fake insta mums out there who are the fakest of all but does it really matter?

Just don't follow them... stop looking at other people's fake lives online & get on with living your own real life... go for a walk, read a book... do anything else except clicking...

I follow the ones who do funny reels, only 2 of them, I like them for light entertainment. I know they aren't real, I don't compare them to myself, I know I am a good mum and have confidence in that etc. However my kids are older 10+, maybe if this was about when I was sleep deprived with 2 kids under 2yrs I would have felt differently.

I don’t follow any Instagram mums but I did when I was pregnant/children were babies. I found some really helpful. It wasn’t that I was taking absolutely everything they said as gospel but a lot do talk about the common ‘failings’ we all feel as mothers but no one talks about. It made me feel so much less inadequate and I was a lot easier on myself.

I also found discussions of topics such as breastfeeding, relationships after a baby and incontinence helpful because this is all stuff I needed help with and hearing that other people were going through the exact same made me feel more confident (as opposed to a complete mess). I didn’t find the advice/support as helpful from health visitors/community midwife and was too embarrassed to bring it up with friends and family as no one else outwardly seemed to struggle.

As I said I don’t follow any more as I’m passed that stage in life but I think they offer comfort to so many women. It’s not going to be for everyone of course (and I get that some people look down on those who do get something from
it) but they do serve a purpose.