Instagram mums...

[JillBob]

What are your thoughts? Are they good for the mental health of mothers or damaging? Personally I know of a couple who are showing a veneer of an amazing life being a mother but underneath they are completely struggling and put out a completely false facade. Had I seen or be following these in the early years of my life I would have taken them to heart and questioned myself and my parenting. Do you follow or ignore?

I only follow ones that show as much 'bad' as good, or where I find the advice genuinely helpful. Unmumsymum, fiveminutemum, peachy_speech and ourmamavillage are my favourites. No promoting themselves, just helpful advice that you can take or leave and a good dose of reality. I don't even know if you'd call them 'instamums' or more just parenting accounts? Is there a difference?!

Actually I do follow mamalina but she feels the opposite of an insta mum.

I like the Unmumsymum. I've followed her for years, she's very honest about when she's doing an advert and I think she's pretty funny. The rest of them I find pretty insipid and dull.

Do they cause harm? Only if you're a bit dim and someone that believes everything you read on the internet!

I don't think anything about anybody 'influential' on Instagram. Do they have interesting content? Yes? Great. No? Unfollow.

People's 'perfect lives' have no effect on me 🤣

@SakuraEdenSwan1

I follow one who has triplets and a older child and she genuinely is such a lovely knackered mum!

Is that triplets and a toddler? I follow her too, her account is just lovely.

I don't really go in for people actively trying to sell me crap, but I do follow some accounts of parents who seem to share the same values as I do- meetthewildes is joyous, and Nicola Gaskins onedayofwinter is an honest look at motherhood after babyloss, and now mothering her newborn while her second is a threenager. Maybe they don't quite count as influencers as such though.

@CheshireDing

What about the one in here that posters used to love too (and she was all bollocks)?

She was called Cherry something from memory.

I follow James Van Der Beek on Instagram and Bethany Hamilton (are they insta parents)😂🤷‍♀️

Cherry's husband got very ill so we stopped poking gentle fun at her.

The Canadian* Montessori Mum with the baby in the acorn hat was another one from way back when. Prob the kid is mid teens now.
*Might have been New Hampshire actually?

So if I made an Instagram account, and posted absolutely honest day to day accounts of the reality of parenting my children, would no one be interested? Or would I have to make it look like I have an amazing life, house etc? I'm not going to do it btw, just wondering if anyone actually does it candidly?

I love motherpukka! She's amazing and doing so much for flexible working - she's actually making a difference for parents! I used to love kisscub as Grace (the mum) was so honest about parenting a disabled child - she had to take a break from Instagram after trolls and COVID took its toll, I miss her. The rest of them are a bit 'meh', don't agree with monetising children but I think a lot of them start off wanting to be honest and just end up selling their souls.

There’s one who lives near me, and we both work in the same department. I actually don’t recognise the place that I’ve lived my entire life in from some of the photos she takes, they’re so artistically angled and heavily filtered.
However, she is always as effortlessly glamorous in real life as she is on Instagram, and always has been, and has a very photogenic family. She shares good and bad days, and does occasional adverts but I’d say it’s a fairly harmless hobby for her. I couldn’t be bothered creating the “flat lay “ photos she does, but each to their own!

Follow Charlotte Dawson. I got emosh when I saw how real she is keeping it.

Take everything you see on social media with a pinch of salt.

I think they're damaging because I've found it's often the more insecure people who follow and take notice of any influencers. One of the school mums is a mummy blogger. Her accounts are all pink and white flowy clothes, cool accessories, flowers and arty shots of her kids looking adorable and cuddling each other. In reality she is the scruffiest woman I've ever seen. Always wears drab greys and khakis, her children are wild and always fighting (more than most) her hair is always unbrushed and usually unwashed. She sells herself on giving styling advice to other mums. On her Instagram account you would think she was so polished and together. It couldn't be further from the truth.

Don't understand the love for unmummsymum, she is as bad as the rest, her children have zero privacy, are frequently used in ads and I'm sure won't thank her in the future when they see all their embarrassing childhood moments played out on social media....all used as marketing for her next book

@FTEngineerM

Follow Charlotte Dawson. I got emosh when I saw how real she is keeping it.

Les Dawsons daughter?

@cannotchange

Don't understand the love for unmummsymum, she is as bad as the rest, her children have zero privacy, are frequently used in ads and I'm sure won't thank her in the future when they see all their embarrassing childhood moments played out on social media....all used as marketing for her next book

yes i was thinking this too....where would she be without her moneymakers? (kids!!)

What did MOD do?

@Youarenothere

Jesus I spend enough of my time being a mum, I don’t want my social media feeds full of that shit aswell.

Absolutely this. Can't bear anything 'influencer' related and have binned Insta off now.

Instagram is fake.

If Instagram mums make you feel bad about yourself then that's to do with your own self esteem. I don't care what anyone else is doing, least of all Instagram mums.

Mainly I follow the dogstagram tag I can't be bothered with instamums.

The Fashionable Pan is very honest, as is life with ivy coco. There's a set of them who want to pretend everything is perfect all the time. But then again I know "normal" mothers who do that.

There comes a point when it's just about making money. They'll sell anything for a freebie. They can frequently well afford the items they are being gifted and never donate them or offer them in a competition for followers. It really puts me off brands. The amount of over privileged women making flower wreaths and painting is ridiculous. I saw one pair doing a reel where they changed into summer dresses. I honestly hope they look back in a few years and cringe themselves inside out. And don't get me started on the "phew homeschooling is over" crap so they can get back to pratting about pretending it's "work".

MotherPuka was one when I did follow the advice and unfollowed as I find her so contrived.

Every so often I'll do a mass clear out.

SM is false- so doesn't bother me. I actually despise those 'influencers' who post the crying selfie to prove they have problems too. It's even worse than the look at me we are all shiny and clean. I post positive/ flattering photos- everyone does. They don't bother me because I know their business is trying to sell themselves and the shite they are sent

I've stopped following parttimeworkingmummy as she asked people to give to a charity she was/is behind to support women suffering from domestic violence. When people questioned where their money had gone she blocked them!
I used to really like her before and enjoyed her posts.

I've never followed any instamums as I tend to follow things Im interested in, like hobbies and pets. I looked at Mrs Hinch's page once and decided it was not for me, though. I do not like everything to be gray.

Some are completely patronising.... Saw one last week with how they are doing the bare minimum home schooling yet they did their 2D shapes out of chocolate biscuit cake, had a full days schedule posted, loads of additional art activities, huge garden for the kids & dogs... Yet she posts she's barely doing anything.... I unfollowed..