What are your underwhelming skills that you’re privately quite proud of

[Breakfastburrito]

Mine are:

Being exceptionally good at slicing bread (straight, even slices every time, even on squishy, unevenly shaped loaves)

Uncannily accurate at guessing the time when I haven’t looked at a clock for hours - I’m never more than a few minutes out.

Tell me the things you can do that are not that impressive!

You are all genuinely amazing, reading this thread has made me so happy!

@CuntyMcBollocks please please please tell me how to fold a fitted sheet neatly! I beg you!!!

I read very very fast and take in every word and can be tested on it.

I pick up foreign languages extremely quickly and can usually hold a basic conversation at the end of a weeks holiday.

I have an exceptionally good sense of direction, EXCEPT when I'm in Edinburgh, that city fucks me up every time!!

I remember song lyrics after hearing a song just once, I have to like the song a lot or absolutely hate it for it to happen though

What witchery is this those who can neatly fold a fitted sheet, there are hunners of you! What is the spell??

When thinking of the alphabet in my head, I can only say it backwards but really quickly. I also spell words backwards for example "alphabet" i'd spell "tebahpla" in my head when thinking of word order... I also read super fast.
I am insanely good at sensing a police car when driving home after a late shift, I just KNOW to watch my speed and then one appears. It's a seriously creepy sixth sense (not a mad speeder normally by the way, my foot just twitches down at 2am sensing my bed is waiting)

I can belch at will and say words in the belch.

I once added an extra hour to an already very long journey trying to escape Edinburgh...

I am fat & unfit but can do a perfect sit-up, without having to cheat to get momentum.

This must have been done to death on this thread but I make the best, the best cup of tea. No one's tea compares to mine. It's the best ever

I am REALLY good at treading water

Ever since I've had children, I can hear in their voices if they're going to be ill soon. They say they're fine, their temperature checks out, but I can hear it. So much so that I will lay towels on the floor that same night beside their bed for any half asleep puke over the side, and I'm rarely caught out with an unprepared floor. On the odd occasion when I have not puke proofed the area, I will wake up with a jump about two minutes before I hear one of them retching and heaving.

@Mummadeze

I mentally calculate my shopping bill as I place everything on the conveyor belt and usually get it right within a few pence. It always makes me feel ridiculously proud but I have never told anyone before!

Me too!

@FolkyFoxFace

I make the best cheese toasties. So good that it's a skill I kept hidden from DH until first lockdown. We now have an arrangement were I make one for him once a week. He has it marked on the calendar as "Toasty Day".

I can read ridiculously quickly.

I can find a book in a bookshop/library in record time and without checking various shelves.

DH loves my cheese toasties so much we have an arrangement too! I don't even like cheese but it's a skill I have perfected for him. :o

It's actually tonight. Wandavision and Glendas Toasties.

Aren't we exciting?!

I can open any book I was reading before either at the exact page I last read or else find the exact page within seconds.

DH loves my cheese toasties so much we have an arrangement too! I don't even like cheese but it's a skill I have perfected for him.

Can any toastie ninja shared their skill, please?

I can taste if a glass of cold water is from the bathroom tap. In anyone's house.

Normal white bread, lightly toasted in the toaster then slathered in real butter while it is still hot.

A slice of niace ham which is then topped with mature cheddar (for zingy sharpness) then on top of that a handful of grated mozzarella (for meltiness).

Pop under the grill until golden brown and stringy.

You can see why it's a once-a-week thing. :o

@amymel2016

I can read a book/look at my phone for hours as a passenger in a car and not get sick

Wish I could do that. I can't even read on a train. Would have made many long journeys more bearable.

I'm great at multi tasking. And a good memory for numbers, although oddly I'm not good at maths.

I instinctively know which way to go.

I can write backwards at the same speed as normal writing, as in you can read it perfectly if held up to a mirror. No idea why but have been able to do it ever since I could write. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm really good at speed reading. I can read stuff and understand it really quickly. When I was 8 I was evaluated by my school of having a reading age of 16. I can get through textbooks and novels ridiculously fast.

Sadly my maths ability is significantly lacking. Words I can do, numbers not so much. I only got asked to score at darts once. It didn't go well....

I can recall what other things an actor has been in within about 5 seconds of seeing them.

I can ‘smell’ when it’s going to snow. The air smells completely different to me. Always right!

I can get a cannula into people whose veins would make an anaesthetist cry!

I can undo knots, make fluffy Yorkshire puddings . Everyone says my gravy is the best they've tasted.

@CrayonInThreeBits

Oh, and I can see spelling/punctuation errors in a page of text without reading it — they kind of stand out, as though they're in an almost-imperceptibly different colour.

Me too! I have to correct them before I start or I can't seem to read the words.

I can tell if something is not straight...even down to half a degree ...I know this thanks to photo editing, some apps tell you the numbers!

I am an excellent navigator/map reader although my knowledge of left and right is sketchy at best, dd also has this skill.

I cannot throw a ball or a stone with any reliability, but put a snowball or a wet dishcloth in my hand and I WILL take you down.
Not at all good at catching (or throwing) unless dd throws something to me and we are both spot on.

I know if something will fit. Dh is always saying things won't fit in the car, won't go through the kitchen door, won't go up the stairs. If I say it will it does.

Have a weird sixth sense about cars, two notable occasions were

1. a montego with iffy brakes, dh would not have it, checked the basics, said "the warning lights would be on if anything was really wrong" ....he had to apply the handbrake in an emergency to stop in the main street of Aberdeen when the foot brake failed.
2. a maestro..something amiss with the gears or clutch, I could not pin it down and as I was a new driver dh thought it was just me. Until he had to be pushed out of a space at work as some linkage thing had broken and it would not go into reverse. A known fault on that model apparently. ...there are many more similar examples.

I can also tell if there if there is a cat hiding in a room and know not to close the door
I know when someone has been in the house if I have been out, I have freaked the children out by messaging them on my return

I am ridiculously good at 'catchphrase' it annoys everyone around me that it always clicks for me instantly.

I can find my way back once I've driven somewhere with no directions. Even if we are driving for 4 hours with loads of turns I can find my way back, I would also be able to drive there again without directions. It's like once I know a route it is burnt into my brain and I can reverse it