What are your underwhelming skills that you’re privately quite proud of

[Breakfastburrito]

Mine are:

Being exceptionally good at slicing bread (straight, even slices every time, even on squishy, unevenly shaped loaves)

Uncannily accurate at guessing the time when I haven’t looked at a clock for hours - I’m never more than a few minutes out.

Tell me the things you can do that are not that impressive!

I find it really easy to keep an impeccably clean and organised home even with 4 children. Being clean, tidy and organised doesn’t feel like a chore or even something I think about. Don’t know why. Just born with the skill.

I also make epic omelettes.

They are my only skills though. I’m mediocre to poor at practically everything else.

I always know compass directions without major external clues like sunrise or sunset or previous knowledge of an area or landmarks. It’s always in relation to sensing which is North first, so my husband’s joke about my magnetic attraction may have a glimmer of truth.

I subconsciously read everything around me (signs, posters etc)
Sounds helpful but it gets a bit frustrating when I know I’ve read something but can’t place it in real time

I'm very good at finding things, particularly lost things. I'm also great at estimating how long it will take to get somewhere. I also have hair that I never brush and never, ever knots.

I usually know when someone is pregnant before they announce it, although no one knows this skill as I never say anything!

I'm fascinated by how it's possible to detect this. My partner and I saw a female friend of ours a couple of years ago and as we got in the car to leave both of us said "do you think she's pregnant?" at the same time. We had no idea what signs we were picking up on, she'd never said she was trying for a baby, it was just a "feeling". Turned out she was about 4 weeks pregnant at the time.

I can read a children’s book out loud, while thinking about something completely different, and not take in what I am reading at all.

@joystir59

I can't think of anything.

Me neither.

I used to be able to remember my credit card number but now Google does it for me, I just need to type in the first number, and I used to be able to remember everybody's phone numbers but now my mobile does it for me!

The only thing I can say is that I am quite "aurally" aware, I will hear a strange noise when DH or DS don't notice. But it usually means something is breaking or has broken and we are going to have to spend (lots of) money such as a strange noise on the boiler or the car :(

I'm a total fucking wizard on Excel. Have recently changed jobs, so don't have quite the same opportunities to showcase my abilities. But yeah, love a detailed spreadsheet with a few charts and a nice bit of project tracking!

I can complete Mario 3 on the NES is 20 minutes flat!

I always know whodunnit in murder mysteries. DH won’t watch them with me now!

I can balance on a motorbike at traffic lights so I don’t have to put my foot down. (Height of laziness).

I can wake up before my alarm every day.

I can beat my children at mariokart every time.

Another good time guesser here! Shame that I still manage to be late all the time 🤣

Like others, throwing far and accurately. Catching from far and accurately. Both big and small objects, only hindered recently by my failing sight.

Like others, when there is a need to wake up at a certain time, my body just wakes up at that time.

Being able to drink quite heavily without feeling or acting drunk (not sure if it’s a skill)

Packing and sorting the food shop into bags from the conveyer belt in the supermarket in record speed: frozen, fridge, dairy, baked, snacks, meat etc.

Getting information out of people through deductive questioning

Remembering all lyrics

My exH could guess the price of anything. In the supermarket or on Bond street. Apparently he had some kind of maths formula in his head where he could calculate the raw materials, how much it would cost to make, supply chain wholesale and premium

I can read easily upside down. I discovered this on my first teaching experience in infants sharing a book at story time and showing them the pictures at the same time.

I am also really food at guessing the time, it's my magical power. As well as eating food straight from the oven 😂

Folding fitted sheets? That witchcraft

I am excellent at Car Tetris and am old a packing ninja. I once got clothes for a family of four for a week into two carry on cases.

I'm good at memorising songs, not just lyrics but beats, tempo, everything.

On the other hand, I can fall over a flat floor in flat shoes whilst stone, cold sober
Also this. Once, whilst skiing, we had stopped on a perfectly flat part of the run and I was taking a photo. I managed to fall over whilst standing still.

Always knowing where my husbands stuff is, he will spend ages looking for something, ask me and I find it instantly he thinks it magical, I think he’s just lazy

Oh and being able to drink tea or coffee whilst I still have the minty toothpaste taste in my mouth

@CrayonInThreeBits

Oh, and I can see spelling/punctuation errors in a page of text without reading it — they kind of stand out, as though they're in an almost-imperceptibly different colour.

I did proof reading at one time and was particularly good at it because, like you Crayon, errors jump out at me. IRL it is so frustrating as I lose sight of the meaning of the text and obsess over the errors.

I can sew an incredibly neat, straight backstitch and blanket stitch by hand. Not sure it will qualify me to join ninja academy but I'm very smug and satisfied about it.

I have an excellent sense of direction and don’t really ever get lost.

I can tell my body to wake up at certain time in the night and it does. I wake up 10-15 mins before any alarm. Useful for setting off on holidays but not much else.

The spelling mistake jumping off the page thing - except in my own work until after I press send. Then it works. I'm also a skim reader and seem to read 5-7 lines of a book at a time. My English teacher accused me of idly flicking through a book I was immersed in, and set me a book I hadn't read before to read for half and hour and then discuss with him. I remember him saying 'but you're too young to do that' as if somehow only being 12 was my fault.

I never loose at rock, paper, scissors. Its freaky! My kids think I have mind reading powers, so obviously I tell them that I do!

Fitted sheets, easy peasy.
BUT how do you remember song lyrics? Just how? The only songs I vaguely remember are Christmas Carols because I've sung them for about 50 years. But still get them wrong sometimes. I love singing but have to have the words right in front of me.
Maybe because I dont hear them properly in the first place?
I did once learn Common People by Pulp and it drove my neighbours crazy as I played it repeatedly for days. I'm a slow learner evidently 😆

Speed reading. When I look at a page of text the whole thing kind of gets sucked into my brain, I see it from the middle out rather than line by line.
I also recognise dealing codes and can say where their geographical location is