The 'sayings' that were fashionable in school, stay with you forever

[FrankButchersDickieBow]

I remember a saying with school, that if you sneezed 8 times on the run, you would have an orgasm. I'm forty fuckin three and just sneezed 6 times on the run andi never thought 'oh I need a tissue' I thought, 'ooh another 2 sneezes and I'll have an orgasm' 🤣🤣

Nothing fact based please.

Just the sayings that went round in school that you kinda believed but were vvu!!

@EspressoExpresso

There was a rumour that the electronics teacher had a wooden leg. We spent every lesson trying to inconspicuously throw rubbers at it on the basis that if it were true, it would bounce off.

We were never successful so we asked the woodwork teacher. He confirmed this was true, and in fact he made him a new leg each year on the lathe for Christmas 🤦‍♀️

That’s so funny!

Gross and TMI but you can and would get pregnant if a boy masturbated and then within a day or so, did you know what to you... technically I’m sure there’s some truth to it but the amount of girls having ‘pregnancy scares’ when they’d not even had sex was mind boggling 🤣

With cigarettes:

"Half a light, shag tonight".

That if you swallowed a piece of chewing or bubble gum it would stick to your heart and kill you.

Thanks for the answers. I read it as only taking not of the l and o and thought it must include love. That makes sense now....

I kind of remember reading stuff like this in a magazine when I was a teen and could calculate odds. 🤔

@CounsellorTroi

That if you swallowed a piece of chewing or bubble gum it would stick to your heart and kill you.

Heart?! A friend told me chewing/ bubble gum stays in the stomach forever.

I've had a pupil have to go to hospital to have stitches in his head after falling backwards when swinging on his chair.

@SunshiningBetty boys, in the COMMON ROOM?? In my day you got pregnant for even looking at the fence!!!!

@EspressoExpresso

There was a rumour that the electronics teacher had a wooden leg. We spent every lesson trying to inconspicuously throw rubbers at it on the basis that if it were true, it would bounce off.

We were never successful so we asked the woodwork teacher. He confirmed this was true, and in fact he made him a new leg each year on the lathe for Christmas 🤦‍♀️

@DrMadelineMaxwell

I've had a pupil have to go to hospital to have stitches in his head after falling backwards when swinging on his chair.

My brother did this. And went straight back into french doors shattering all the glass. He got 72 stitches for his efforts.

He has passed on since, sometimes I find myself having a chat with him and asking him how it was possible that he passed from a heart attack and not some bizzare injury. Because this is just one example of the stunts he got up to. My poor mum.

That if you swallowed a piece of chewing or bubble gum it would stick to your heart and kill you.

I think my parents told me that, not school. Or maybe my nan...
And also that if you ate apple pips a tiny apple tree would grow in your stomach.
I'm over the apple thing now, but on the (rare) occasions I have gum, if I accidentally swallow it I still have a brief flash of terror about it sticking to my heart.

I'm 46.

It won't just stick to your heart, it will wrap itself round your heart and strangle you from within.

Frankly, if your digestive tract allows this to happen, you probably have bigger issues and internal injuries than merely swallowing some gum...

I still can't swallow chewing gum and wince when dh does.
I'd completely forgotten the apple stalks and "love" sums. Thanks for the memories

If you wore your left sock pulled down and the right one up, it meant something, can't remember what. Either that you were a slag, a virgin, a "lezzer" or you fancied someone. God we were ridiculous

@OlympicProcrastinator

That girl who ordered a takeaway curry and got really ill. Sample taken in hospital (of what?) revealed the semen of 7 restaurant workers.

Scared me off takeaways until I was an adult that one!

Yes!!! This one!!! @OlympicProcrastinator do you live in Leicester

Every Pot Noodle takes 15 minutes off your life.

If you shake your leg while sitting down, you're sexually frustrated

My mother still believed the chewing gum and heart thing from her own schooldays, until I explained it wasn't possible.

I was still really worried about the apple pips though

Marc Almond collapsed, went to hospital, had his stomach pumped and they pumped out 7 pints of jizz. This was early 80's. Years later was talking to a colleague from the other end of the country and he heard the same story! I have since heard that this story has done the rounds for many years, although the involved person has changed

• a sneeze is an 8th of an orgasm
• if you rip the label off a water bottle / peel it off a beer bottle, you're sexually frustrated
• answering "yes" to "doyoulickadickaday?" Was the wrong answer

Lots of funny expressions have stuck with me. Things like skill McGill, coolio, safe, Jimmy Hill or chinny reckon.

@FelicityBeedle

It was 7 sneezes at my school. We put a fair amount of faith in the teacher being 10 minute late you could legally leave. And if the power cut cor more than ten minutes, and if it was below 16c in the building. Lots of wishful thinking

We actually did have a rule at school that if it was foggy and you couldn't see the fence on the other side of the playing field by lunchtime, we were sent home. It only happened a couple of times but every time there was fog, everyone sat in class looking anxiously over at the fence to see if they could see it!

I remember we had rumours that a former teacher got the nickname 'Killer' because he killed a boy by pushing him down the stairs.

Yes - because he would still be allowed to teach there until retirement after bumping off a pupil

@EBearhug

If you didn't sit with four chairs legs on the floor, you'd over balance and break your neck. At one point, I wondered if this was something they put on in teacher training college, because pretty much every teacher said it, but I never saw it, despite people leaning back on just the two back legs of their chair in many lessons.

DS2 did this and fell right back, the only thing that broke was the chair leg. Unfortunately it was a family antique

I had a primary school teacher who always used to tell me off for chewing my pencil, telling me I would get lead poisoning. Then my parents took me to the pencil factory in Keswick (rock and roll holidays) and I learned it was actually harmless graphite in my pencils. I took great pleasure in setting my teacher right the next time she told me off

We also had a strict code about not having your shirt collar poking out from under your sweater. To wear it like that would have been social suicide. Now my children (at primary) like to wear their shirt collars poking out of the sweaters and it still makes me itch!