The 'sayings' that were fashionable in school, stay with you forever

[FrankButchersDickieBow]

I remember a saying with school, that if you sneezed 8 times on the run, you would have an orgasm. I'm forty fuckin three and just sneezed 6 times on the run andi never thought 'oh I need a tissue' I thought, 'ooh another 2 sneezes and I'll have an orgasm' 🤣🤣

Nothing fact based please.

Just the sayings that went round in school that you kinda believed but were vvu!!

[BluePeterVag]

[quote LexysMidnightRunners]**@HollysBush* @BluePeterVag* I think you were at my primary school! Our ghost in the pipes was called Mabel too and I’m pretty sure I got a massive telling off for calling that dinner lady Grotbags and had to apologise to her! Did you also use to do handstands on the grass in summer, chanting “Sun Rain Thunder Lightning, something something and Away we go!” Then doing a crap handstand and displaying your knickers to all and sundry?[/quote]
@LexysMidnightRunners ooh! My school was in Cheshire. Mabel was very scary, I once had to go and take a message to another teacher and I ran really fast in case Mabel was in the pipes and knew I was alone. Would be interesting to hear if Mabel was in more than one school!

[PolkadotsAndMoonbeams]

If you had your ears pierced, your brains would run out of the holes.

[Ladystardust777]

@mellongoose

I remember some of these!

We also used to get someone to sit on a chair or to lie down and loads of us could lift them up and they were weightless and flew into the air. We said that they were levitating. No idea how or what we actually did, but they went miles 🤣

I’m so glad I’m not the only one to remember this! Thought I’d imagined it!
We’d use only one finger under the chair and the kid would magically rise up into the air!
It was so weird ... because it worked!
How is that possible! 😄

[DogsAreShit]

It definitely works. It's like if you stand sideways to a wall and press your arm against it,then when you move away your arm rises up on its own.

[thelongwayhome]

If you poke a pencil into a rubber to say "yes" on one side and "no" on the other, it would make all your major life decisions for you/tell you your future. Many a maths lesson was spent tossing a massacred rubber onto a desk to see if we'd ever get married or have eight children

[goldielockdown2]

Upon being called a bitch, the bitchee would quip, 'bitches are dogs and dogs bark and barks come from trees and trees are nature and nature's beautiful so thanks' ahaha how have I remembered that?!

[mynewusernameisthis]

If you pick at a mole and it bleeds, it will never stop bleeding and eventually you will die from blood loss

Still makes me worried now!!!

[BrimFullOfAsher]

@mynewusernameisthis and if a skintag is cut.

[s113]

I've just remembered this one. Remember when you could turn a calculator upside down, and it would spell a word? There was this trick which did the rounds in the classroom, popular with the boys:
I knew a girl who was 13. (Type in 13)
Her boobs were size 84. (Type 84)
She wanted them to be 45. (Type 45)
The doctor said, "Oh!" (Type 0)
"Take 2 pills". (Type 2)
But (press x)
She took 4 (press 4)
And ended up...
Press =, turn the calculator upside down, and see what it says.

[s113]

There was another even more advanced calculator trick, but it needed a calculator with hex mode, or base 16 (using the letters A-F as well as the digits 0-9):

Three men go into a cafe (type 3CAFE), have sex (divide by 6). Press = to see the result, no need to turn calculator upside down.

[WoolieLiberal]

Several that have already been mentioned here.

• In Secondary everything that was not good was “gay”.
  

• In Juniors there was a ghost in the girls toilets (I wonder how many of the UTIs and accidents that I saw were caused by girls avoiding the toilets?)
  

• “Tell tale tit” was the insult to anyone who told a teacher in Infants and Juniors.
  

• That before having sex you had to buy a “bum stretcher” or it wouldn’t fit.
  

• If you stabbed someone with a pencil they would die of “lead poisoning”.
  

• That when you did sex ed they would show you a video of a man and woman having sex (they didn’t).
  

• That if you eat apple pips you die of cyanide poisoning
  

And the sneezing orgasm thing was six times in my school.

Also the rumours that would go round about people and the abuse they would get about it:

• That a particular boy/girl was really of the opposite sex.
  

• That particular people were gay
  

• That a particular people were bed wetters (I really was and was terrified of being outed at school but never was).
  

• That particular people had had sex with teachers
  

The list goes on...

And there were also the questions that people would ask with apparently humorous answers, like asking a girl “Were you born with happiness?” (Were you born with a penis) that would provoke howls of laughter if the answer was “yes”.

Weird times. I can only imagine what a hell it would have been if classmates found out that I still wore nappies to bed well into secondary...

[WoolieLiberal]

s113 - I remember the BOOBLESS joke too!!!!!!

[JumpLeadsForTwo]

@s113

I've just remembered this one. Remember when you could turn a calculator upside down, and it would spell a word? There was this trick which did the rounds in the classroom, popular with the boys:
I knew a girl who was 13. (Type in 13)
Her boobs were size 84. (Type 84)
She wanted them to be 45. (Type 45)
The doctor said, "Oh!" (Type 0)
"Take 2 pills". (Type 2)
But (press x)
She took 4 (press 4)
And ended up...
Press =, turn the calculator upside down, and see what it says.

I loved this!