The 'sayings' that were fashionable in school, stay with you forever

[FrankButchersDickieBow]

I remember a saying with school, that if you sneezed 8 times on the run, you would have an orgasm. I'm forty fuckin three and just sneezed 6 times on the run andi never thought 'oh I need a tissue' I thought, 'ooh another 2 sneezes and I'll have an orgasm' 🤣🤣

Nothing fact based please.

Just the sayings that went round in school that you kinda believed but were vvu!!

Someone apparently was impaled by a javelin on school sports day
I knew someone who really was impaled by a javelin at school. He used to wear his vest with the hole on it with pride and never got tired of telling the story.

hole in it

@CaptainMyCaptain 😲

I remember my dad telling me the javelin story, except it was his PE teacher (so late 50’s or early 60’s) who got a javelin through his foot!
I think the rhyme posted a page or so ago went..
We are the girls
We wear our hair in curls
We wear our dungarees
Up to our sexy knees
I met a boy one day
He took my breath away
He was the boy next door (maybe I’m not sure on that line)
He had me on the floor
He pushed it in and out
He made me scream and shout
My mama leapt for joy it was a baby boy!

Opening a bag of crisps the wrong way up was certain bad luck. This still gets me sometimes!
My best friend informed me that gay men had sex by 'wrapping their willies around each other' whereas women just kinda slotted together.

(ie flappage slottage)

Hehhe had totally forgotten about the BCG thumping until read this !

I remember so many of these! One we had not mentioned yet was the student who ate a kebab from a dodgy takeaway while she had a cut on her tongue. It later swelled up and burst when loads of baby cockroaches hatched from the eggs that had gone inside her tongue from the kebab!

there was always someone’s random big sister doing crazy stuff like dying her pubes green and getting please keep off the grass and an arrow tattooed on her thigh.

In high school various classes caused at least 2 nervous breakdowns in teachers plus scarred one for life after filling his classroom full of balloons when they found out he had a phobia of them. The IT teach was rumoured to be a paedophile while both the janitor and one of the teachers had relationships with just left 6th year girls. We had an African science teacher (in a rural area of mostly white folks) so of course he was a royal in his home country!

I'd forgotten the mcchicken cyst - my French teacher told me that one!

Our awful head used to say every morning at assembly, or so it seemed...' remember girls you are in the top 20% of the population'
It was a grammar school. Hated it.

If you don't stamp on the ground properly when having a wee outside (D of E training at all girls school) a stoat might crawl up into you and eat you from the inside out. That was fact at my school.

@BrimFullOfAsher I also went to an East Riding school...we had the story that a science teacher walked into a classroom and found a girl with a test tube...same story, different scenario.

We did the "white lady, white lady, I've stolen your baby" rhyme at primary school once in the library whilst the teachers weren't supervising us. Huge electrical storm came out of nowhere. We all shat ourselves and never did that again 😂

Worst saying - "sound as a pound". Wtf did that even mean.

We used to tease each other singing

How many times has

@winewolfhowls

My dad swears that head on the roof story was based on a real event in the news

I seem to recall if from an American film about a couple making a road trip through a very remote area.

We had a teacher who was very strict, he was tall, built like tank and walked very very slowly with his gown floating around him, that's how long ago it was by the way, early '60s. The story was that he had been in what we'd now call Special Services during the war and he was trained to kill any source of unexpected noise! In the 6th Form I was talking to another teacher about this and he creased up, apparently everyone in the staffroom knew the stories and in fact he was the kindest, most gentle person imaginable and loved to play up to his 'image'!

@amispeakingenglish

Our awful head used to say every morning at assembly, or so it seemed...' remember girls you are in the top 20% of the population' It was a grammar school. Hated it.

You didn't go to a certain school in Peter Kay's home town,, did you? I seem to recall the headmistress there was reputed to be fond of saying this (I went to the boys' equivalent for a time).

The semen/stomach pump story did the rounds about Rod Stewart as well - he even mentions it in his autobiography!

We had the aforementioned chicken cyst and suicide by pencils stories at our school, plus another one about a kid who was larking about on a school trip to the Tower Of London (or similar) and placed his head on the executioner's block. His friend then hit him on the back of a neck with a ruler and the kid instantly died of fright!

It was common knowledge in my school that if your brother had a bath and you got in the same water afterwards, his sperm would swim up you & you'd end up pregnant.

'How many times has

@PussGirl how about

What do you do if you need the loo
In an English country garden?
Pull down your pants and suffocate the ants
In an English country garden

"[name] is 100% fit IDST" carved on desks.

We were all told that on our first day at secondary school the big kids would flush our heads down the loo.

The persistent legend that two Geography teachers were having an affair. One student claimed to have seen them holding hands at an airport...

Ha ha cross post!

In early primary school, then called 'the Infants', the most satisfying insult we could use was:

'Silly soppy sentimental disconnected drainpipe!

At around the same time, someone told me the time-honoured story that if you step on a crack in the pavement, a big bear will come out and eat you. She didn't pronounce her Rs very well, and for some time I thought that a big BELL might come out and eat you!

If anyone was in any doubt: javelin story 🥺
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jun/14/experience-i-killed-my-classmate-with-a-javelin

@BikeRunSki

Did anyone do those puzzles where you wrote down your name, and that of your intended next to each other? On top of each other? Then you did something akin to long division where you crossed out the letters the two names had in common, and the result was how much “percent” you were in love?

Yes. You had to count up the amount of "l", "o", v e and s letters in each name and then add them in some way to get a percentage.

"There was a rumour going round at school that someone ate a McChicken Sandwich at McDonalds and they asked for no mayo but when they bit into it, it had mayo inside that turned out to be a burst cyst from the chicken. I never ate one again (and that was 30 odd years ago)!"

Yes!

Sitting on concrete or stone would give you piles. That’s why you needed sit on mats, as in Gurl Scouts.