The 'sayings' that were fashionable in school, stay with you forever

[FrankButchersDickieBow]

I remember a saying with school, that if you sneezed 8 times on the run, you would have an orgasm. I'm forty fuckin three and just sneezed 6 times on the run andi never thought 'oh I need a tissue' I thought, 'ooh another 2 sneezes and I'll have an orgasm' 🤣🤣

Nothing fact based please.

Just the sayings that went round in school that you kinda believed but were vvu!!

In Primary School, the toilet cubicle on the far left was the one with The Green Hand in it. If you used that toilet The Green Hand would reach out of the bowl and drag you down into the toilet. Never to be seen again. And everyone knew someone's big sister who had a friend whose cousin told her that it they had seen it happen.

I heard the burger/cyst story about 25/30 years ago from a relative from Cornwall! Same relative said if you ran round a church anticlockwise 3 times shouting Bloody Mary she would appear.

Also heard the tale of multiple jizz in a meal and resultant health problems (herpes? Can't remember) very disturbed to hear that one's true!? But it is the reason I NEVER complain about my food!

Yes to shag bands and upside down crisps. And bottle labels, rocking on chairs and chewing gum.

We weren't allowed to play British bulldog because someone had been knocked out - the rule had been in place so long that none of us knew what British bulldog was!

My granny taught me the apple stalk one from her school days, she was born in the 1920's! And if you peel an orange/apple in one piece and throw the peel over your shoulder it will land in the shape of the initial of the person you will marry.

Our primary school was all on the ground floor but had big double height sash windows in the hall but for whatever reason a suspended ceiling had been put in across them, so from outside you could see into the 'attic'. A ghost was said to look out of the 'upstairs' windows. There was also a bell tower, and the boys told us the bell rope was still in the boys loos (which were not below the bell tower ) and it had a loop in it and someone had hung themselves from it.

True story - a girl at primary was reaching for something that had been put on top of a cupboard/bookshelf (probably 4ft wide and 6ft high, full of reference books) and sort of half climbed it to reach, the cupboard fell on top of her. I know this to be true as I was passed in the corridor by the secretary who was running while screaming 'HT first name' the cupboard's fallen on 'girls name'! I can't lift it!
She was fine, miraculously! But I've always religiously fixed furniture to the wall as a result.

If you suck on your hair you’ll get spiders in your throat!

Many of the boys in my school used Adidas bags to carry their books in. This apparently stood for All Day I Dream About Sex.

If you eat an apple looking into a mirror you will see in the mirror the face of the man you will marry.

If a boy offers you a polo it means he wants to have sex with you as it stands for pants off legs open

Sneeze three times your soul belongs to the devil

A girl hung herself in middle school toilets and if you used them she would suddenly flush the toilet on you giving you a cold wet butt reality was the older girls were putting there hands over the top of the cubicle from the toilet behind and pulling the chain to make you scream one of my year went to the toilet stood on the loo seat waited for the hand grabbed it saying got ya the girl screamed so loud the teachers came running it was a massive school too 🤣

@HollysBush @BluePeterVag I think you were at my primary school! Our ghost in the pipes was called Mabel too and I’m pretty sure I got a massive telling off for calling that dinner lady Grotbags and had to apologise to her! Did you also use to do handstands on the grass in summer, chanting “Sun Rain Thunder Lightning, something something and Away we go!” Then doing a crap handstand and displaying your knickers to all and sundry?

@Minikievs
We had this at our school in Leicestershire
And the one that on Halloween if you looked in a mirror while holding a lit candle you could summon the devil, but only if you were a virgin

@Greyrootszerohoots

There was always a gay/lesbian bench, where if you sat on it with a friend you were definitely ‘lezzas’. God kids were awful.

And in keeping with chair legs - pen lids. Always a kid that choked on a pen lid.

You will find several cases where this happened if you Google it. There was one in a school local to me.

You absolutely must never show that you are wearing socks. Instead, you had to fold them down and hide them in your shoe. Trainer socks didn't exist back then.

Platforms in the nineties. I always wanted 'kickers' to be cool but never allowed.

@LionMother

You absolutely must never show that you are wearing socks. Instead, you had to fold them down and hide them in your shoe. Trainer socks didn't exist back then.

Yes! And I could never do it right, you could either see them or they ended up bunched up round your toes (I suspect this happened to the cool girls too but they were too cool to admit it)

Also of paramount importance that your tied laces must not show - shove them in the trainer, yes they'll dig in and give you blisters, pretend it's fine! Like the backpack on one shoulder I just can't shake this - I've even bought special laces for my new trainers so I don't have a bow showing!

Heard it was Boy George

Poor Feargal Sharkey in my school. I have no idea why.

God, children are revolting. (Including me then).

Thought of some more from primary school:

Hand clapping thing- you used to clap your hands together with a partner and sing songs. One went something like...

'My boyfriend gave me an apple,
My boyfriend gave me a pair,
My boyfriend gave me a kiss on the lips and threw me down the stairs'

Skipping song-
'Not last night but the night before
24 coppers came knocking at my door...'

Naff naff and Naff Co 64 jackets were popular. Apparently it stood for:
Nanny
Annie
Fishy
Fanny
Condoms
Only

Tv ad for 54321 choc bar had a song. But we all sang '54321 grandad's got a gun, he shot nanny in the fanny, 54321.'

Have no idea what the real lyrics were or what the chocolate bar even tasted like.

Another song that we sang with different lyrics to the original...
'Rhythm is dancer,
Smokin' gives you cancer,
Needles give you H I Veeee,
Sex will give you babies,
Dogs will give you rabies,
Come on and dance with meeee'
WTF? 🤣

Oh, and the McDonald's chicken cyst pus was a KFC chicken burger where I lived.

Oh and I just read another post about the shoe laces not being allowed to show. That was so true all through secondary school and into my early twenties!

At primary school long socks were a must, so that you could roll them down your legs, to look like white donuts on your ankles. 😂

@WeatherwaxLives I'm the same, can't have bows on my shoes/trainers and have taught my DCs not to either

Struth!! I’ve had hay fever for 50 years and whilst sneezing, never had an orgasm!!

If you can see through at the top of your legs (your legs don't meet all the way up!) you're not a virgin.
Used to get me quite hot under the collar...

@FuckingFabulous

Taking the labels off your drinks bottles meant you were sexually frustrated

I knew a girl who seduced her future DP at uni this way, in our first week of our first year.

She stood there in the bar absolutely destroying the label on her alcopop while repeatedly telling him she was sexually frustrated.

Worked like a charm.

She had class.

@peachdribble

If you suck on your hair you’ll get spiders in your throat!

A friend of mine works in the lab in the hospital. He had to dissect the lump of hair that was removed from the stomach a child who chewed her plait.

That Ciara was born a man! I wonder if she is aware this was stated as fact by teenagers up and down the UK?

Green skittles make you randy.

@solicitoring

Vile story of the girl that put dog food on her bits and was found with the dog licking her out (that term too 🤮).

Really scary story of a car breaking down and the boyfriend went to get help and after ages the girl here's a tapping on the car roof. Eventually she gets out to look and it's the boyfriend hanging (from what???!) and his feet tapping on the roof..... I had nightmares about that one for years.

Similar story, a young couple ran out of petrol near Broadmoor (about 10 miles from where we lived) the man left to get petrol, hours later a team of police cars swarmed up and then there was a banging on the roof of the car, the police men shouted ‘get out of the car, walk towards us and don’t look back’. The banging continued and curiosity got the better of her and she turned around and an inmate of the hospital had impaled her boyfriends severed head on a stick and was banging it on the roof of the car. She ended up in Broadmoor.

My dad and uncle would tell us this story when we had ‘run out of petrol’ and one of them would go get some petrol and at the pertinent time, would hammer on the roof of the car scaring between 4 and 9 children half to death! (This was in the early 1970’s when everyone had a load of people in a car made for 4, there were usually 2 or more dogs too.)

@mellongoose

I remember some of these!

We also used to get someone to sit on a chair or to lie down and loads of us could lift them up and they were weightless and flew into the air. We said that they were levitating. No idea how or what we actually did, but they went miles 🤣

I was telling my children about the levitation thing the other day. So weird. There was a rhyme that went with it ' this is the sign of the zodiac, zodiac, zodiac....silence must not be broken broken broken...

When doing the levitating thing you had to say light as a feather stiff as a board