The 'sayings' that were fashionable in school, stay with you forever

[FrankButchersDickieBow]

I remember a saying with school, that if you sneezed 8 times on the run, you would have an orgasm. I'm forty fuckin three and just sneezed 6 times on the run andi never thought 'oh I need a tissue' I thought, 'ooh another 2 sneezes and I'll have an orgasm' 🤣🤣

Nothing fact based please.

Just the sayings that went round in school that you kinda believed but were vvu!!

Polo mints make you sterile so if your boyfriend sucks two of them before dtd you can't get pregnant.

A girl whose Dad was the local GP told all the boys that at 13 they would get 'The cold spoon test':

A cold spoon is held against your scrotum and if you don't get an erection then you have a serious medical problem!

The boys were shitting themselves that they would get an erection in front of the school nurse or that they wouldn't.

Despite it never happening, it became a school myth that perpetuated for years later!

Went to secondary stage all girls school from 1945 to 1955. The word orgasm was unknown. Indeed sex was almost unknown. The headmistress wrote to all parents when we were about ten offering to explain periods for mothers unable to bring themselves to do so. I think there were takers. My Mother handed me a booklet by Southalls telling me about "ashes" being expelled on a monthly basis. As I had my first period a month short of twelve, this came in handy. School was a nightmare thereafter.. Girls could climb up the partitions between lavatory stalls and look over. Secreting used pads in one's bag was a nervous procedure. I had to give up my thrice werkly swimming trips to a private pool and this led to mostly giving up swimming all the time. Gymnastics were conducted wearing navy bloomers.. It was all pretty awful.

If you swallowed chewing gum, it would get stuck in your throat, stretch across the opening like a solid membrane and you would suffocate. It actually happened to a child of parents the person who started it knew, we were told.

The source was a teacher. I was in the class wen she said it. Scared the crap out of ten year old me.

If a male teacher's tie blew over his shoulder , he wanted a shag. And if he or any other male wore a pink tie or shirt he was gay, of course.

We used to do Love Hate Adore Marry

Write your full name and that of the person you fancied out, cross off letters in common and then count the ones left chanting Love Hate Adore Marry - but separately for each one so you got an answer for yourself and one for them.

JANE SMITH = JANSMH = Jane Hates Peter
PETER PIPER = PTERPPER = Peter Marries Jane

Note in the above answer Jane only has one "E" to cross out so just one of Peter Piper's "E"s is crossed out. But in order to get the answer you wanted, you might decide to cross out every "E". Or use nicknames or add in middle names.....

We had the candy man three times in the mirror thing.

Jizz in the kebab shop mayo

Boys committing suicide in exams with pencils

Boys with dogs

Also, heard the sweetcorn under the foreskin thing again quite recently. FROM AN ACTUAL ADULT MAN. 😂 he's mid twenties at least.

My little brother went to the same high-school as me albeit a few years after and told us the story of the German teacher who'd thrown a chair at a pupil and killed him.... this was based on fact... I'd been in that German lesson, although the moron kid who'd tortured the poor German teacher didn't actually get hit with the chair, luckily it missed him!!

That the Body Shop would buy toenail cuttings. Manchester, 1990s. Just, why?!

If you say Bloody Mary in the mirror three times red eyes would stare back at you.
I also remember the candy man saying as well. Still wouldn't say it three times aloud how aged 36!

That the art teacher had roasted a pigeon in the kiln.

An ice cream van used to park near the school, and there was a persistent rumour that somebody had discovered a big lump of lead in their 99 and got lead poisoning. (How lead would get in a scoop of ice cream I have no idea.)

It’s decades since I was at school yet I still can not walk on 3 drains for fear of bad luck!

There would always be one kid trapped by the devil in the 39 steps or something? You closed your eyes and held hands and moved them back and forth.
There was only one weird girl who was advanced/authorised to rescue people from these luciferous situations. Anyone else might cause further harm!

So many grim memories of my homophobic school - where to even start...

Being asked: "were you born with happiness?" and upon answering 'yes', having everyone fall about laughing because you had just admitted being born with '(h)a penis', and then if you answered the follow up question 'Were you born with a fat knee?' with 'no', having people being greatly concerned with what you were born with, then (not 'a fanny', obviously).

Another one from my school was having someone suddenly accost you, and point to the floor because 'you dropped your Gay Card' - obviously, if you looked round you were admitting being gay. Happily many years later I went to a gay bar abroad where we had to sign up for membership cards just to get in. I felt so glad to finally have my Gay Card back after losing it so many years ago. I carry it everywhere with me.

@senoritachiquita

If you put your pants on inside out by mistake it was bad luck to change them back and you had to keep them on inside out for the whole day. I still sometimes keep mine on inside out if I do this!

Me too 🤣🤣 And that pearl of wisdom originated from secondary school

I remember the "he put tuna in her vagina to eat it out and she got flies" wtaf. looool

We used to roam the streets at lunchtime(primary school) and run through peoples gardens. Except one because the Pinkie Torture Man lived there and if he caught you he would break your pinkies.

@EBearhug

If you didn't sit with four chairs legs on the floor, you'd over balance and break your neck. At one point, I wondered if this was something they put on in teacher training college, because pretty much every teacher said it, but I never saw it, despite people leaning back on just the two back legs of their chair in many lessons.

I did that, fell backwards and cracked my head on the cast iron radiator! Being round about 1980 nothing happened and I just carried on as normal!

If you draw on your hands with biro you will get ink poisoning and die!
There were always myths about murderers and girls who had had things up them or boys who only got turned on by weird stuff (although they may have been true 😂).

"School sayings": I thought this thread was going to be about sayings that might have been heard in Victorian schools, such as "empty vessels make the most noise" or "procrastination is the thief of time".

@EspressoExpresso The woodwork teacher calling your bluff made me laugh out loud!!

From primary school, the head took great pleasure in telling girls who wore earrings that they would get a TORN EAR. She was also fond of the phrase "...or you'll find yourself in deep water. Hot."

More recently, I heard a primary teacher say to a young girl "if you wear trainers without socks, your feet will get really angry". When I was at primary school, we were made to wear shoes on bare feet to walk to the assembly hall for PE.

@FuckingFabulous

Taking the labels off your drinks bottles meant you were sexually frustrated

It has to be a Budweiser label apparently, according to my American friend.

If your jelly band bracelet from Bow Bangles snaps when there's a boy around, you have to shag him or be cursed.
I was so nervous of that outcome, I never wore one.
Oh and dummy necklaces meant you were on cocaine/E/Acid (teachers believed that and banned them)

Someone at school told me that if you flush a plane loo while sitting on it it will suck your insides out. I still think of that every time I go to the loo on a plane... can’t even imagine navigating the mile high club with that thought lodged in my head!

Hahaha this is hilarious. I do remember back in the 90's we used to shake our hands in the air (limply) and shouted "Wagger Wagger Wagger!" at people. Grew up, and realised what we were copying hahah

@IntermittentParps

That if you swallowed a piece of chewing or bubble gum it would stick to your heart and kill you.

I think my parents told me that, not school. Or maybe my nan...
And also that if you ate apple pips a tiny apple tree would grow in your stomach.
I'm over the apple thing now, but on the (rare) occasions I have gum, if I accidentally swallow it I still have a brief flash of terror about it sticking to my heart.

I'm 46.

Apple pips actually do have cyanide in them.

@EBearhug I might not have seen anyone break their neck, but in the last year of primary school a small lad fell backwards off his chair and landed bum first in the waste paper bin behind him. His head, arms and ends of his legs were sticking out the top. He needed help getting out much to the amusement of the rest of the class 🤣.