...to think dyed grey hair looks shit?

[FourBagsOfMiniEggs]

I’m so fed up. I’m 30 and have been going grey since about 22. I’ve got frizzy, wiry greys sprouting out all over my head and I just feel so sad about it. I scrape it up in a bun or use a headband a lot of the time, but I hate all of these wispy greys. I feel like I look so scruffy. If I had straight glossy hair it might be different but I’ve always had very frizzy hair.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about dying it and then I realised...dyed grey hair always seems to look shit! You can always, always see the grey regrowth shining through and the colour looks unnatural. I also think maybe it’s more ageing to dye it, particularly for me aged 30?

Has anyone managed to dye their grey hair successfully and NOT have it look shit? Anyone else gone grey early? Any tips on embracing it? I hate this frizzy streaky grey in-between. I feel like it’s too early to just give up on my hair but I just feel so low. It’s no fun going grey early 😣

I look ill with no make up. If I dyed my hair I’d still look ill but with not grey hair. My ageing face needs make up, regardless of my hair colour.

@OrangeBlossomsinthesun

I've been fully Grey since my 30s, now 45. I always dyed it but found the second you get a millimeter of root growth it looks so obvious and I couldn't afford to dye it at a salon every couple of weeks, which is what I would have needed. Home box dyes didn't cover it well enough either once it was all Grey. So a couple of years ago I went blonde. It's so much better. The blonde dye at home covers regrowth well enough and the roots don't look bad at all against blonde do I can go much longer between dyeing. In the future I'll transition from blonde to the silvery Grey underneath hopefully, but not for a long time.

What colour was your hair originally? What dye do you use? Any tips? Especially on going from dying brown to dying blonde??

I started going gray at age 11 and by the time I was 17 it was very noticeable, I have a lot of chemical sensitivities so tried to embrace being natural but by the time I was 27 I was fed up with people thinking I was my mother's younger sister or my younger sisters' mother, I started using henna and I love it, it looks fabulous in the sunlight and I get loads of compliments on it. I actually think my hair is healthier from the henna, I have almost no breakage now and I used to have quite the problem with it. It can be a bit tricky to apply when you first start but there are some excellent how-to videos on YouTube.

Young people with dyed grey hair look fantastic. I saw a couple of young women with light blue hair and it looked good too.
At 42 I wouldn't dare grow out my roots. I have a young face so dye my hair to match

I dye my own hair at home every 3 weeks. I'm originally dark brown. I suspect I'd be 75% grey now but Ive never left it long enough between dyeing to find out. My hair is a totally unnatural colour and suits me well. I regularly get asked what I use on it or get compliments on the colour (two today in fact). My hairdresser says she couldn't do a better job herself. Costs me £5 every 3 weeks. You have to find what works for you. It may be the salon and £££ or it could be a box dye that looks fab

I was originally chestnut brown. By the time I went blonde it was all grey all over.
I went blonde the first time at the hairdresser. He bleached the colour out and put a blonde dye on top. Continued to have it done professionally (sometimes with blue or purple streaks) until last year and lockdown, when I had to start dyeing it myself. I just use L'Oréal excellence in whichever blonde takes my fancy or I can get hold of, the most recent one was 8.03 I think.

ThatchersCold, do you know what I’d have to ask the hairdresser to do or how to describe what the woman in the photo has done? She looks amazing and her hair is gorgeous! Is she on Instagram? What’s her name?
Thanks for sharing. Inspiring stuff!

No I don't think it looks shit if you get it done professionally. I would welcome a full head of white or silver hair but I'm nowhere near that at the moment.

Dyed hair looks good IF (and only if) you are prepared to fully commit to the cost/ upkeep. I have friends with heads of very glossy hair, never a grey root seen but they are (or at least we're pre lockdown) in the hairdressers every 4 weeks without fail. I simply couldn't justify that cost.

I've been going grey for nearly 30 years (,found my first grey at 19! And cried ) and dyeing my hair at home for most of that. I only really had to dye it to cover grey in the last 10 years, and certainly in the last 5 it was getting worse and worse...about 2 years ago I got to the point where even dyeing it 4 weeks wasn't keeping the grey roots at bay. So I said enough was enough and went very light blonde. Which is perfect as it means any grey hairs are no significantly less obvious, and I only need to bleach it every 6 months or so (I am naturally mid brown). Wish I'd done it years ago!

@SunnyHens her name is Liz Kamarul. I DMd her on Insta and she directed me to her blog post. www.lizkamarul.com/blog/2018/2/20/going-gray which explains the transition in detail.

She also said that in brief, she highlighted her hair until she had achieved very white blonde (this does take a few goes especially if you already have dark dye on your hair). And then she let it grow out, but keeps the ends bleached but the roots natural. That’s it really!

@SunnyHens she also likes to put temporary colours in the bleached part of her hair sometimes, you can see it’s a bit pinkish in the photo. But that bit is optional :)

Can I jump on here and ask what people think about men dyeing their hair? My hair (formerly very dark brown) is greying unevenly. I have several blotchy areas where its pretty much white surrounded by dark hair and other areas where it's more uniformly grey looking. I hate the work that goes with maintaining hair colouring. What do you think?

I've been watching Brad Mondo videos (www.facebook.com/bradmondonyc) every so often on facebook and he repeatedly states that when dying your hair you should always leave the roots until last because it's new hair and sucks the dye in so much easier than the ends because they obv have colour/product build up on them. Also colour doesn't lift colour.

He also says that after 45 minutes that hair cannot process anymore so it doesn't need leaving on any longer than that as you're just harming the hair then.

I think the hair texture makes the difference. Knock on wood my gray seems to be keeping to my normal texture and hopefully will continue to do so.

I started noticing the gray in my late 20s, which was the same for my mom. I have colored in one form of another since my teens because puberty was not kind to me when it came to changing my hair color, deep auburn to shit brown.

I found a stylist who does magic* with color and have been with her now for about 9 years. So here are my tips.

-If you start coloring, upkeep is the key. Be prepared to commit to it. I go every 4 weeks (I’m 45). I started at 8, then 6, now 4.

-go to a stylist that uses quality color products, I will only use Aveda color.

-have I mentioned your stylist is the key?

—Mine is quite happy to break color rules, and I am ok with her experimenting. Apparently the the formula that she uses on my roots is not supposed to work at all. Except that it does. She has even questioned the head color director with Aveda who was surprised, laughed, and told her not to expect the same results on anyone else.

—She has about 4 formulas that she rotates through as conditions change throughout the year (if I’ve been in the sun and have bleached a bit, winter when it’s dry, summer when it’s humid, using one formula too long, etc)

I think for the frizzy/wiry gray texture, you’ll have to work on that separate from the color, again a good color product should help, but you may need other products and techniques as well.

My days of coloring are limited, as I plan to move to a more rural location where I won’t be as concerned about my appearance. But for now, yup, I’m super high maintenance on my hair and enjoy how it looks.

• Seriously, magic... she manages a vibrant red that stays well out of clown red territory. It is not uncommon for me to be complimented by random strangers (mostly women) on my color. She is Amazing (!) and I always give her full and complete credit.

@oakleystreet

Can I jump on here and ask what people think about men dyeing their hair? My hair (formerly very dark brown) is greying unevenly. I have several blotchy areas where its pretty much white surrounded by dark hair and other areas where it's more uniformly grey looking. I hate the work that goes with maintaining hair colouring. What do you think?

Same rules apply to men as women... seek a professional to do it if you are going to do it. Otherwise it could be a disaster

I’m 47 and I’ve had grey hair since I was 12. My hairdresser told me brightly I was “about 85% grey” last year

I’ve thought about embracing the grey often, but I do think it’s ageing if you’re over 40ish. I think my hair colour looks fantastic - it’s naturally very very frizzy but I spend a lot of money on it in Normal Times to fight the frizz. Profession cut and colour every six weeks, and I used the Aussie colour mask as a regular conditioner every time I wash it.

Basically it’s bloody expensive to keep frizzy greying hair looking good.

There's a difference as well between having quite a bit of Grey and being Grey ALL OVER. literally every hair on my head is grey now. When you get to that point box dyes don't cover it and even a millimeter of regrowth is hugely obvious against brown dye, it descends like a line of grey down your head. I got to the stage that you could see the grey line of roots appear even 2 weeks after dyeing (professionally) and the colour wouldn't even take properly with a box dye.

Against blonde dye the roots don't show as much and the colour contrast means even when they do they look like dark roots not grey, which is less ageing.

Check Facebook and Instagram for Silver Sisters and the Grombre 'movement' there will be lots of ladies with tip on embracing your silver or tip on how to get the look that you want 😊

Have name changed for this but here is me, after having all of my dye cut out of my hair and welcoming the grey. It's taken 18 months to get to this point.

I couldn't give a shiny shit if someone thinks my hair looks crap. I feel so much freer....

I’ve stopped dying my hair. I’m 34.

Even if you get it done by an amazing colourist at a salon, it’s still only a matter of days/weeks before you have regrowth. I can’t be bothered with that. Why spend upwards of £100, several hours in a chair getting it done to have roots showing literally 10-14 days later?

I genuinely can’t be arsed any more.

@greystriped

Have name changed for this but here is me, after having all of my dye cut out of my hair and welcoming the grey. It's taken 18 months to get to this point.

I couldn't give a shiny shit if someone thinks my hair looks crap. I feel so much freer....

But you hardly have any grey! This is what I mean, it's not the same having some grey and having every single hair on your head grey by your mid 30s. A bit of grey can look great (yours looks lovely), for me, I wasn't prepared to have an entire head of grey (dirty sludgy grey) hair at 35. Blonde worked as a solution to endless dyeing and regrowth.

This is the best product I have found for covering roots between colouring. The brush means you can apply it exactly where it needs to go.

I started going grey at 17.

I’ve always dyed it but have it done at the hairdressers.

I’m (was) naturally very dark brown but am now light brown/ashy blonde

I have it kind of balayaged in that it’s kind of blended at my roots so there isn’t a firm line as it starts to grow so the grey doesn’t notice as much if that makes sense.

I usually get 8-9 weeks out of it before the grey is noticeable. I should have had it done again on the 9th January so am nearly 2 months over and it’s still not that bad.

@greystriped your hair looks amazingly healthy! Wow! What do you do to it to keep it in that condition?!?

"But you hardly have any grey! This is what I mean, it's not the same having some grey and having every single hair on your head grey by your mid 30s. A bit of grey can look great (yours looks lovely), for me, I wasn't prepared to have an entire head of grey (dirty sludgy grey) hair at 35.
Blonde worked as a solution to endless dyeing and regrowth."

But you are missing my point. My hairdresser noted it was starting and we prepared for it. I had to grow out a lot of dye, and I would rather have a natural, gradual and subtle going grey than have to grow out dye when my hair is all grey.

After watching my friends obsess, shocking roots and having lots of hair care routines, I decided that was not for me. And I am 42 BTW. My hair is starting to change rather quickly.