...to think dyed grey hair looks shit?

[FourBagsOfMiniEggs]

I’m so fed up. I’m 30 and have been going grey since about 22. I’ve got frizzy, wiry greys sprouting out all over my head and I just feel so sad about it. I scrape it up in a bun or use a headband a lot of the time, but I hate all of these wispy greys. I feel like I look so scruffy. If I had straight glossy hair it might be different but I’ve always had very frizzy hair.

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about dying it and then I realised...dyed grey hair always seems to look shit! You can always, always see the grey regrowth shining through and the colour looks unnatural. I also think maybe it’s more ageing to dye it, particularly for me aged 30?

Has anyone managed to dye their grey hair successfully and NOT have it look shit? Anyone else gone grey early? Any tips on embracing it? I hate this frizzy streaky grey in-between. I feel like it’s too early to just give up on my hair but I just feel so low. It’s no fun going grey early 😣

Mine is grey, I ditched the dye and love it. It's much less frizzy without being dried out with dye all the time. People sometimes assumed I've dyed it grey, but it gets lots of compliments.

I got load highlights put through and dyed red. I'm dark and maintain my highlights with celeb vital colour conditioner. Keeps colour nicely and blends greys

instead I see a wonderful colourist every 4-6 months who weaves me the most beautiful, beachy, bespoke highlights/balayage combo which actually incorporates the greys as part of the highlighting and grows out beautifully.

Love that. To whale music too, and no need for Covid restrictions

Well I think most people due their grey hair a different colour. When I was young everyone above middle age had grey hair. Usually permed and older ladies had a blue rinse. Now hardly anyone seems to have gone grey, till they're much older. I'm mid 40s. Men my age are all a bit grey. Some people have it done in a salon and some do it at home. Salon looks better often though I think; because you don't just have one solid all over colour, there's highlights running through. I don't think you can tell most people have dyed grey hair unless it's a vibrant red or dark black.

I have a full head of foils done every six weeks or so. And over the years, as I've got greyer, my hairdresser has gradually used lighter colours so the root re-growth is never really distinct or obvious. Over the last decade I've gone from a rich mid-brown to shades of blonde. And even with lockdown meaning it's ten weeks since I last had it done, it still looks okay, and the highlights to root re-growth effect is subtle and reasonably natural.

I’m 30 and it sounds like I have the same hair as you! I’m probably about 30% grey now and it’s spread evenly throughout my dark brown hair.

I get a half head of highlights using a mixture of 3 colours (mid brown, dark blonde, mid blonde). I’ve been having this for about 8 years now and have been gradually going lighter. The highlights blend in with the grey and it means there is no harsh demarcation line as they grow out. Though I do sometimes get a frizzy grey halo :(

I have just had to increase getting them done from once every 4 months to every 3 months as I’ve got greyer. And I think it won’t be long until I have to get a full head.

Everyone says it looks very natural and laugh when I say I have grey hair. My best friend said the grey just looks like lighter blonde bits.

I use SLS free shampoo & conditioner, morrocanoil and sometimes I splash out on olaplex to improve the texture. I’ve also just started looking into rice water rinses and I’m impressed with the results so far!

I do have to spend a lot of money on my hair, but I’m not the kind of person who can pull off grey - it just makes me look very frumpy and middle-aged :(

@FourBagsOfMiniEggs
Yes, Brazilian blowdry is a keratin treatment - effectively like having it permed straight. I had it done regularly for about five years - then hit on a hairdresser that didn't know what she was doing, and she frazzled it!

www.naturallycurly.com/ is the most in depth site - essentially CGM is focused on using gentle non-sulphate products, not using lots of heat treatments, and generally being kind to your hair.
I've been following it for about five years, and given that my hair is nearly all white, it's still very soft and manageable, whereas white/gray hair can be quite frizzy and wiry.

I found this when I looked for the site - Cosmo - more of an overview without going into too much depth, might be a better place to start.

Has anyone managed to dye their grey hair successfully and NOT have it look shit?

Yes. I get my roots done at the hairdresser every 5 - 6 weeks under normal circumstances. I can't make a good enough job of it at home.

I gave into the grey at 35. The transition from brunette to grey was ash blonde, then went whiter and whiter...but at £70+ every 4 weeks it was an expensive piece of maintenance, so i let it grow out, you couldnt tell the difference

There's even a CGM book about embracing the grey - Silver Hair: Say Goodbye to the Dye and Let Your Natural Light Shine - by Lorraine Massey.

When I decided to let it go grey (inspired by a colleague who had the most amazing snowy white hair at 40, it looked stunning) the big thing for me was that I was not going to have a frumpy hair style, so I have a very asymmetric cut.

Home kits look pretty shit. The decent colour by a hairdresser looks great.

YANBU. I think it looks naff too.

Lockdown has made me realise there is more to life than wasting two hours every three weeks making dull small talk with my hairdresser. I am embracing my grey/white (late 30s) and enjoying saving some pennies.

I have the same hair texture you’re talking about and had my hair dyed at the hairdressers from the age of 26 to 30 (started going grey at 22). Then lock down hit and I switched to home dye in desperation. It looks great! I won’t be going back to salons. I use L’Oréal excellence creme. I think you’re Being a bit defeatist. Just make sure you do it 4 weekly and use the hair treatment provided.

Going grey “young” is actually just going grey in a perfectly natural timeframe. We’ve just been conditioned to equate it with “old”. If you’d like another perspective before tethering yourself to decades of dying and maintenance, have a look at these women who ditched the dye.

www.instagram.com/grombre/

Why not try a semi-permanent dye (suitable for greys) and see how it applies? You need to top up your roots on a fairly regular basis, but it's not too hard.

I started going grey in my teens.
35 now and gave up the dye and started growing out the grey 2 years ago.
It looked shit with roots and I couldn't be bothered with the time, money, and effort it was taking me to colour it.
I always home coloured, could never afford to pay a hairdresser every month and even if I could I wouldn't want to spend all that time on my hair.
So I just stopped.
I love my hair now and I get so many compliments on it.

Mine started going white( not grey) in my 20s. My mother has a head of thick white hair..but she's 85! My two sisters have gone with the white and both look older than me, although in fact they're younger. I dye mine a deep plum/purple and get loads of compliments, even from strangers. I'm 57. No plans on going white any time soon

I used to have my hair dyed silver all over when I was a bit younger and had a pixie crop, and it looked great even though I say it myself! The hairdresser would bleach it first, and then tone it silver. I'd use purple colour-depositing conditioner in between colour treatments to keep it looking nice.

Now I have longer hair and a lot of white at my roots, so I have a few streaks of bleach balayage and toned silver to blend it all in. I can go for months between retouches. I love it!

You do need to pay a hairdresser to do it for you, at least until you're really sure you know what you're doing.

I gave up dying mine around the 30 mark, as the grey was just to wilful and didn't take up the dye or hold it well, my hair only looked good for 2 weeks before a weird haze started at my roots, and by 4 weeks the roots looked awful, I was mousey brown but if I went blonde the roots looked really dark if I went dark the roots looked really light, my hair was dry and horrible and over processed with colour, so I stopped dying it, embraced the grey and never looked back, I have been striped badger grey for 17 years now and never once regretted it.

I have baylayage done once a year at the hairdresser, costs about £200 including a cut and blow dry. To do roots in between I buy the same product my hairdresser uses (L’Oréal Inoa) from a trade store. I do think block dark colour is a little aging once you’ve started going grey though, mine is naturally a very dark brown so the blonde highlights lift it a bit and make it look more natural.

Has anyone managed to dye their grey hair successfully and NOT have it look shit?

Yes but my natural colour is mousy brown and the greys are actually whites. A decent ash-blonde shop colour and Fanola shampoo works a treat.

I think mine looks good, I have highlights and a cut every eight weeks (and have done for the last twenty years) - gradually the grey hair outnumbers the dark but the highlights even it out. Regular cut means it’s in good condition with no split ends - £80 every 8 weeks so £10 a week / £520 a year - pretty much my only indulgence and for me it’s completely worth it, good hair makes me feel good. (I hate lockdown!)

Plantur 39 Brown colour shampoo and conditioner is what my friend uses and I think I’ll give it a try. It turns her gray a lovely light brown so looks more natural as it is not all the same. Has anyone else tried it? The advert always put me off before.

I am 42 and haven't gone grey yet, I am naturally auburn but have been "bottle blond" for 20 years and it's in good condition because I look after it with masks and treatments etc. I think once I do go grey the blond will actually blend it much more than my roots do now.