WIBU in making this child cry?!

[ILoveFlumps]

We have a new build house, which has shingles on the front garden next to the driveway.
I went out of my front door to put some rubbish in the bin and find a man with his toddler son playing on the shingles. I was a bit confused and politely said “excuse me, would you mind not doing that on my front garden?”. The man then replied “he’s just a child who is playing”. I replied “but it’s my property”
He then picked up his child who then started crying and as he was walking away he said to me “are you happy now, you made him cry?”
I’m a bit taken aback! Was I wrong to tell them to stop playing in my front garden?!

You did not make him cry, he’s a toddler they cry at everything.
It’s fine for you to ask them not to and was weird of the man to argue with you.
If he was just looking and picking bits up as they wandered past I would have just let them get on with it. Toddlers love stones.
If they’re playing ball out there then that’s not ok.

He was sat down in the middle of the shingles with his dad playing.
For context, you have walk down my driveway off the main road about 15 metres or so to get to it

I find this completely bizarre... it’s not just a toddler who’s strayed off the pavement for a few minutes... they’ve purposefully sat in your front garden to play.
I bet he would find it odd if you went and sat in his front garden.

How far was it on your property? Just at the edge, or several steps into the garden?
I think it makes a bit of difference. The first I would just smile benevolently, the second I would say pointedly ‘May I help you’. I’m not sure I would go full ‘get off my property’ if a toddler was involved.

I don’t want to be that poster, but do you mean shingle - small stones, the word is plural, or shingles as in roof tiles? If it was roof tiles I would be a bit more peeved as they can easily get broken.

I agree, YOU didn't make him cry.

That kid is going to be an absolute nightmare growing up, with such a ridiculous father.

You didn't make him cry.
The dad putting him in the position where someone questions his self entitlement made him cry.
Guessing the parents don't say no for fear of making him cry.
It's not ok to play on someone's property without permission
You've done nothing wrong

@SilverBirchWithout

OP said it was 15m onto her property!

I mean I know lockdown with kids is driving many a parent nuts but at least I haven't resorted to taking my kids to the nearest pebble driveway yet!

@DayBath

You were technically correct, which is the worst kind of correct.

Standing on shingle to hear the crunch of different textures under your feet is fun, it was a small child, the Dad probably thought most sensible people wouldn't mind a child briefly walking on the very edge of a boundary to feel the difference underfoot.

Like I say, it's your property so you were technically correct. But you were a total dick about it and it wouldn't have killed you to just say good morning, smile and then go about your day would it.

We have some lovely shrubs on the edge of our front garden that toddlers love to stroke and feel the texture of. I can't imagine ever telling them to bugger off my property and causing them to cry, what a nasty piece of work you have to be to do that.

DayBath, did you miss the bit where the OP said that they were fifteen metres from the boundary?

OP said They walked 15m up my driveway and plonked themselves in the middle of my front garden.

Ah I love toddlers (random men not so much!) My front yard is a postage stamp but I grow a lot of plants and tall sunflowers and I have no problem with little hands exploring them.

YANBU and the dad sounds most peculiar , if he wants his child to play in shingle then he should buy some for his own garden .

There are a lot of parents who think their own kids can do whatever they want . What’s the harm well it’s not yours that’s the harm .
When I first moved into my house I had a wall that all random kids would play / sit and walk on I’d be like no go and play elsewhere and 1 parent in particular didn’t like it . I said let them play in your garden but no that wall was ok , I suspect before I moved in that where they played . The wall got damaged and was removed so the little darlings had to play elsewhere.
Yanbu and you didn’t make the child cry the ignorant prick of a parent did .

You were correct in objecting about this, You cant be held responsible for a child who cries about such things. Some precious moany parents often react like the man did.

If you're a "grump" and a "nasty piece of work" OP then so am I. You were far more restrained than would have been, I'd have asked the father what the hell he though the was doing.

It's very odd that anyone would think this was OK.

I wouldn't have said anything in your position but I also wouldn't have reacted in the way that the man did if asked to move on

Boundaries are important, in this case literally.

15 adult paces up a driveway? You wouldn't say anything? Nope!

Yanbu. This is the reason I would love a house with a front gate.
Also the reason at our previous house I would never let the dc leave toys or play equipment out front.

Just added gates to the list of things I want for my next house. How can anyone think it's ok for a parent and child to wander 15m up a driveway for their own entertainment? Some of the replies on this thread are absolutely bat shit.

@grey12

What's a fence turtle? Petting them and singing happy birthday to them sounds fun, my mind is boggling!

@Isit2021yetplease

Was it really necessary? There isn't a whole lot for parents to do to entertain their kids right now - a few minutes looking at shingles on your front drive might have given him a few minutes peace! Yes technically they shouldn't have been doing it but a bit of compassion or ability to see the bigger picture might have been nice. What a grump you are.

By that token I can go for a swim in the neighbour's swimming pool since there isn't much to do right now.

Every day is a school day - I've just learned what shingles are! Had only ever heard of roof shingles and disease shingles before.

Anyway, yanbu. It's not ok to go wandering onto random people's property. Going in to grab a toddler making a break for it is totally fine but this man was sitting down and preparing to play for a while!

@Isit2021yetplease

Why don’t you give out your address and we all rock round to play

The op is not being a grump, she is fully entitled to ask people to stop playing in her garden

@ILoveFlumps you didn’t make the child cry, it’s the parents responsibility to make sure kids dont play where they shouldn't, and that includes your front garden

I would have said something too. Who are these parents who think it's OK to allow their children to play on private property, then have the cheek to say YABU?
Teach them some respect and parent your child. What happened to saying to no , fuck me those parents are making a rode for their own back
You can have fun without pissing people off

That's seriously odd, and he made his own child cry, not you.

If he comes back tell him how much fun the shingles are, you've been licking them all out of boredom in your Covid isolation.

Not unreasonable at all.

The child cried because whilst it does not understand the concept of property and etiquette, it was yanked up from playing and taken away from where it was content. If that came as a surprise to the Father then he is going to have a hard time parenting.

When they are old enough (6/7ish I guess?) you teach them to not walk on the bits of people's front gardens with slates, shingles etc. Or we do anyway. It is someone's garden/property, it makes a mess, gravel ends up everywhere, slate gets broken into tiny pieces, expensive to have to replace thinning shingle all the time. Just..... don't?

The Father should know better as he is not a toddler.

You did nothing wrong, don't worry about it.