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AIBU?

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Original poster

WIBU in making this child cry?!

333 replies

ILoveFlumps · 03/03/2021 14:08

We have a new build house, which has shingles on the front garden next to the driveway.
I went out of my front door to put some rubbish in the bin and find a man with his toddler son playing on the shingles. I was a bit confused and politely said “excuse me, would you mind not doing that on my front garden?”. The man then replied “he’s just a child who is playing”. I replied “but it’s my property”
He then picked up his child who then started crying and as he was walking away he said to me “are you happy now, you made him cry?”
I’m a bit taken aback! Was I wrong to tell them to stop playing in my front garden?!

OP posts:
Saz12 · 03/03/2021 15:44

15metres from the pavement? What was the adult thinking???! I get on the edge of pavement / driveway some people might be OK. But not 15 metres into your garden!!

GrumpyHoonMain · 03/03/2021 15:45

Sounds really weird and I don’t think he was up to any good. A lot of burglars bring kids to scope out large properties in the first instance.

Hamster1111 · 03/03/2021 15:45

YANBU.

I tell my kids not to even set foot on other peoples property if they can possibly avoid it. I always say use the pavement, that is someone elses garden/drive/whatever.

I agree with PP - it doesn't give a great message to his this child about other peoples property and boundaries! Shame you can't set yourself up in his front path with a deckchair and a glass of wine and see how responds Grin

RowanAlong · 03/03/2021 15:47

CuriousSamphire - by all means come for tea! Lonely business, lockdown😁. Yes, on re-reading the updates, it was quite a distance on to the OPs property, so maybe a bit weirder than I first thought. The dad and child must have been really bored!

ViciousJackdaw · 03/03/2021 15:49

But then territorialism is a mystery to me, I just don’t understand it

Maybe nobody has explained it to you properly. Territorialism refers to the defence of a particular place from attack. It is widely believed that trespassers may pose risks. Hence OP's discomfort with two uninvited and unknown people on her land. Are you with me so far?

Penners99 · 03/03/2021 15:49

Friend of mine had similar. He told the parent that the shingles had been sprayed with a weed killer that was toxic to humans and small animals. (It had not)

He never saw them again.

lioncitygirl · 03/03/2021 15:49

It’s your garden so you do/say what you like 🤷🏻‍♀️ - would I have asked them to move? Not unless it was absolutely causing me issues/ruining something/damaging property. But - you’re not me and vice versa, you told them to leave, they did, the child cried because well, he was a child who doesn’t understand why he’s suddenly been taken away from his game - you don’t know the child/parent so why is this Bothering you?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 03/03/2021 15:49

@RowanAlong

CuriousSamphire - by all means come for tea! Lonely business, lockdown😁. Yes, on re-reading the updates, it was quite a distance on to the OPs property, so maybe a bit weirder than I first thought. The dad and child must have been really bored!
Possibly not as bored as some of us are Grin
doodlebug33 · 03/03/2021 15:50

I'm so glad this isn't just me!! I have kids on my drive all the time and it really winds me up. I was brought up to not stray onto other people's gardens or driveways and I've done the same with my kids.
How can the dad think that was ok? Like seriously, how????
You are definitely NBU!!!!!!!

Bellaphant · 03/03/2021 15:51

My 18 month old loves trying to walk up people's steps (lots of Victorian terraces), but we never let him. We have occasionally let him wander off the path into people's shingled driveways, but only to wall him back - sitting and playing would be a big no no, and he'd be carried away (probably screaming!) Before that point. I'd be upset If someone was cross at him for 'wandering', but they are totally in their rights to ask us to move!

Hesma · 03/03/2021 15:52

@Isit2021yetplease there are plenty of things to do besides letting your kids play in other peoples’ gardens... OP isn’t BU but I feel like you need a reality check

notacooldad · 03/03/2021 15:52

Was it really necessary? There isn't a whole lot for parents to do to entertain their kids right now - a few minutes looking at shingles on your front drive might have given him a few minutes peace!
😂😂😂

I would probably wouldn't have asked them to move either unless it was really causing issues for me.
I'd be nipping that behaviour in the bud. You know the saying, give an inch and they'll take a mile!

Mydogmylife · 03/03/2021 15:56

@DayBath

You were technically correct, which is the worst kind of correct.

Standing on shingle to hear the crunch of different textures under your feet is fun, it was a small child, the Dad probably thought most sensible people wouldn't mind a child briefly walking on the very edge of a boundary to feel the difference underfoot.

Like I say, it's your property so you were technically correct. But you were a total dick about it and it wouldn't have killed you to just say good morning, smile and then go about your day would it.

We have some lovely shrubs on the edge of our front garden that toddlers love to stroke and feel the texture of. I can't imagine ever telling them to bugger off my property and causing them to cry, what a nasty piece of work you have to be to do that.

From what I can gather though the child wasn't on the edge of the property? They were a good 15 metres into th op's garden, a rather different situation
ThinkingIsAllowed · 03/03/2021 15:56

YANBU, his dad was ridiculous.

MintyMabel · 03/03/2021 16:00

I would have also let my kids look at the little stones and play with them a tiny bit if there is no fence

In somebody else's front garden??

You wouldn't teach your child to keep off someone else's property?

nokidshere · 03/03/2021 16:01

Of course yanbu. No one is entitled to be on your property without permission.

Quite apart from the fact that if someone is injured on your property whether they were invited or not or even if they were trespassing you, as the homeowner, could be liable and sued if you knew they were there.

minniemoocher · 03/03/2021 16:02

There's some odd behaviour at the moment and blaming covid is making me angry. Yesterday a child (not a toddler) picked next doors beautiful daffodils and the parents (yes two for just one circa 5 year old) told me neighbour does it hurt, he's bored because of covid! I was just going out so years this, and reassured my neighbour that them being angry was definitely justified! If the kid wanted daffs the parents should buy some!

NeptunesGaze · 03/03/2021 16:04

I would tell my ds off for going in someone’s drive. However, if it happened to me I’d let it go. If it’s a toddler and (mine included) have a stone obsession and was there a couple of minutes then just live and let live. Enough stress in this world! Don’t know the context of age / length of time and what child was doing though

stayathomer · 03/03/2021 16:04

Me too. But then territorialism is a mystery to me, I just don’t understand it.
Ah great, just like my cousin! As a child her parents let her off, she'd go into our neighbours gardens and use their toys etc, while my parents would try to diplomatically tell my aunt she shouldn't, now as an adult takes her dog for walks on lands that say no trespassing, climbed over a wall when she took my kids out and brought them into a school to play basketball and use their playground. No respect for anything but what about it? It's not territorialism, there's boundaries for a reason. And it's not about the child, it's the parent who's going to allow their child to grow up to be entitled to the world

Superfoodie123 · 03/03/2021 16:05

I think its a bit weird to have a problem with that. You were once a curious child too. So what it's your property, were you sitting out there trying to play with it too. I doubt the child would have made it that ugly. Kindness is a real thing

Ostryga · 03/03/2021 16:06

This thread is great! Shows very clearly which parents think their child can do anything they like because they’re children and somehow magical and special. And the good parents.

Btw - everyone who thinks is acceptable to allow your child to play on someone’s private property - you are the parents everyone else despises, and it’s usually your kids that are the absolute worst little shits. Teach boundaries, it will do your entitled brats the world of good.

NeptunesGaze · 03/03/2021 16:06

Sorry didn’t read the updates - no that’s weird !

SchrodingersImmigrant · 03/03/2021 16:06

It's not weird not to want people on your property

MessAllOver · 03/03/2021 16:08

YANBU. Toddlers wander (mine used to make a dash through any open gate just to annoy me - Victorian terraces). I always retrieved him promptly and after a while he went on the reins until he could walk nicely. Though I must admit every homeowner who caught us in the act was very pleasant and welcoming, but then they weren't suffering from shingles (either type).

You are entitled to dislike toddlers on your property. Most people have as little to do with toddlers as they can. The only polite response from the father would have been "so sorry!", while hastily removing his irrational, destructive, small creature before you threatened to have it impounded. If he secretly thought you were a bit upright and unfriendly, that's his prerogative, but it's yours to be possessive of your shingles.

Wnikat · 03/03/2021 16:10

This thread makes me despair for humanity.

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