Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU in making this child cry?!

333 replies

ILoveFlumps · 03/03/2021 14:08

We have a new build house, which has shingles on the front garden next to the driveway.
I went out of my front door to put some rubbish in the bin and find a man with his toddler son playing on the shingles. I was a bit confused and politely said “excuse me, would you mind not doing that on my front garden?”. The man then replied “he’s just a child who is playing”. I replied “but it’s my property”
He then picked up his child who then started crying and as he was walking away he said to me “are you happy now, you made him cry?”
I’m a bit taken aback! Was I wrong to tell them to stop playing in my front garden?!

OP posts:
Original poster
ILoveFlumps · 03/03/2021 14:34

@DayBath

You were technically correct, which is the worst kind of correct.

Standing on shingle to hear the crunch of different textures under your feet is fun, it was a small child, the Dad probably thought most sensible people wouldn't mind a child briefly walking on the very edge of a boundary to feel the difference underfoot.

Like I say, it's your property so you were technically correct. But you were a total dick about it and it wouldn't have killed you to just say good morning, smile and then go about your day would it.

We have some lovely shrubs on the edge of our front garden that toddlers love to stroke and feel the texture of. I can't imagine ever telling them to bugger off my property and causing them to cry, what a nasty piece of work you have to be to do that.

It wasn't the edge of my boundary. They walked 15m up my driveway and plonked themselves in the middle of my front garden. I also didn't tell them to bugger off - I was actually very polite and quite taken aback to find a random stranger sat in my front garden......
OP posts:
NoseinBook3 · 03/03/2021 14:34

Yeah that’s odd

MacDuffsMuff · 03/03/2021 14:35

@Isit2021yetplease

Was it really necessary? There isn't a whole lot for parents to do to entertain their kids right now - a few minutes looking at shingles on your front drive might have given him a few minutes peace! Yes technically they shouldn't have been doing it but a bit of compassion or ability to see the bigger picture might have been nice. What a grump you are.
Did you not read the OP? He wasn't 'looking' at the shingles, he was playing on her property.

I probably wouldn't have had a problem with it to be honest, but there's nothing worse than posters who just make things up.

HugeAckmansWife · 03/03/2021 14:37

15ft is not at the very edge though is it?

seadreams · 03/03/2021 14:38

I’m feeling very stupid because I’ve no idea what shingles are! I’ve only ever heard it in a chicken pox context!

But you were totally in the right OP.

Meowchickameowmeow · 03/03/2021 14:39

He was sat down in the middle of the shingles with his dad playing.
For context, you have walk down my driveway off the main road about 15 metres or so to get to it

So they were both sat in your garden playing and people think you're the weird one? I can't imagine walking down someone's drive and finding a spot to sit, it's very rude.

Original poster
ILoveFlumps · 03/03/2021 14:41

@seadreams

I’m feeling very stupid because I’ve no idea what shingles are! I’ve only ever heard it in a chicken pox context!

But you were totally in the right OP.

Definitely weren't playing with chicken pox! They're lots of tiny little stones that get everywhere and never stay put Grin
OP posts:
lidoshuffle · 03/03/2021 14:42

Oh, "shingle" not "shingles"; I was trying to imagine a drive covered in shingles, like the wooden cobbles the victorians used near hospitals etc for quietness!

lunarlife · 03/03/2021 14:42

Okay, walking into the middle of your garden and sitting down isn't ok.
The dad was being a prat.

Clymene · 03/03/2021 14:43

@HugeAckmansWife

15ft is not at the very edge though is it?
It wasn't 15 ft either, it was 15 m!

That's bloody weird behaviour. His kid needs to learn about private property. Really not doing him any favours there.

RightOnTheEdge · 03/03/2021 14:43

YANBU OP. You didn't make the kid cry hs dad did.
There are some very dramatic posters on this thread 🤣
A nasty piece of work for not letting some random and his kid use her garden as a play pit? Confused

There are a few gardens around my area with gravel borders and no fence.
I always say "Oi that's someones garden and gravel you're standing on get off!" to my kids because that's a normal way to behave.

It is the kind of place where all the kids roam round the estate and neighbours help each other out but it still doesn't mean that I'm going to be a CF and let my kids just invade people's property. Nor do I think that Covid and lockdown are an excuse to not teach kids to respect others and forget their manners just because it's a bit boring.

Bonniegirlie · 03/03/2021 14:43

Not unreasonable at all, cheeky git. He would have probably started throwing them all over the place. I would have moved them on as well, and you weren't rude, probably more polite than I would have been for sure

anynamewilldo2021 · 03/03/2021 14:43

Of course you weren't being reasonable and I'm sure you know it.

Can't believe the nerve of him. You don't just take yourself onto someone's property to play!!

If it was kids alone I'd have politely asked them to leave but an adult should know better?!

Then to claim you made his child cry ...... 🤦🏻‍♀️

Fridget · 03/03/2021 14:45

For context, you have walk down my driveway off the main road about 15 metres or so to get to it

In that case YANBU. If it had been a toddler crouching on the pavement picking up stones at the end of your driveway I would have thought you were precious and mean spirited but walking 15m into your property is a massive liberty.

Unicant · 03/03/2021 14:46

I think he was unreasonable to say you made the child cry.
My toddler cries when I won't let her run in the road in front of cars... toddlers often cry when you don't let them do what they want to do but that doesn't mean its a good idea to let them do it.

Idve just left it personally tho.. a little child playing on my front lawn wouldn't bother me.
But its your property so I guess you did have a right to say what you did.
He was overreacting to it

RowanAlong · 03/03/2021 14:48

Is it a regular thing? I’d have let it go as a one-off if you’ve never seen them before, they weren’t damaging anything and they were enjoying a moment! Spread the goodwill around

SugarfreeBlitz · 03/03/2021 14:49

He should've taken the kid to the park. How hard would it be if a toddler goes to grab something from someone else's garden, to just distract him with "I know, lets go to the park / shop/ insert other exciting option"

Grenlei · 03/03/2021 14:50

Not unreasonable at all.

My neighbours kids felt entitled to ride their bikes around my (large paved) driveway. When I told them to keep off it, their mother said I was being horrible to them and later in a conversation with her DH - conducted in their front garden so audible to me, called me a selfish bitch.

Some people are just arseholes who think their irritating kids are the centre of the fucking universe.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 03/03/2021 14:50

@RowanAlong

Is it a regular thing? I’d have let it go as a one-off if you’ve never seen them before, they weren’t damaging anything and they were enjoying a moment! Spread the goodwill around
How do you do that though? You have to, at some point, say no, enough. And OP has no idea if they have done this regularly!

And, in the interests of spreading good will, can I come to yours for tea?

Etinox · 03/03/2021 14:50

I can’t believe no ones demanded a drawing!? From your first posting I’d have said yabvu, but way into your drive, that’s weird.

Crunched · 03/03/2021 14:51

I certainly do not 'worship at the alter of a random child' (great phrase btw),but we have horse chestnut trees in the grounds at the front of our house and I have no problem with random children coming through the open gate to gather conkers - indeed I get a bit misty eyed about innocent pleasures now my own DC are teens.
If you have a problem I think you need to investigate fencing.
How would you feel if a dog wandered onto your shingle?

GrolliffetheDragon · 03/03/2021 14:51

YANBU. DS still likes looking at interesting stones, but we look from the pavement, we don't walk on other people's drives or gardens.

Eatingsoupwithafork · 03/03/2021 14:53

YANBU but I can’t say I’d have been too bothered about it. Toddlers love the noises and the textures of different materials.

Goldenbear · 03/03/2021 14:54

If you think that is an intrusion you would be delighted by the toddler, baby and Dad that visits our elderly neighbour his toddlers were climbing on the other neighbour's Landrover, they weren't very successful but when the children asked the Dad to watch them, he loudly played along with it and asked them to try and pull the 'huge'car home! The young man he owns it then came out to encourage them to get off but he didn't say anything, just stood there. The Dad then proceeded to take them home and pretended he was a pirate with a loud pirate accent, my DH was really amused when he was trying to partake in a really important work meeting. Even closing the windows didn't drown out the enthusiasm.

wideskies · 03/03/2021 14:55

That's so weird!! My toddler will make a break to run into peoples driveways so it's a constant effort to keep them out and on the path but we would never be purposely sat playing in someone's driveway!!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.