WIBU in making this child cry?!

[ILoveFlumps]

We have a new build house, which has shingles on the front garden next to the driveway.
I went out of my front door to put some rubbish in the bin and find a man with his toddler son playing on the shingles. I was a bit confused and politely said “excuse me, would you mind not doing that on my front garden?”. The man then replied “he’s just a child who is playing”. I replied “but it’s my property”
He then picked up his child who then started crying and as he was walking away he said to me “are you happy now, you made him cry?”
I’m a bit taken aback! Was I wrong to tell them to stop playing in my front garden?!

We've got shingle and I've asked parents to stop their children playing. It's not because they like to throw the stones but more because my neighbours cats use it as a toilet.

YWNBU! I bet when he can take the little chickadee out to shops/ cafes etc. they will be allowed to run riot! Children need to be taught boundaries and that it is Ok to feel sad/ disappointed. Anyway if the DCis of an age to be entranced by gravel remembers such low cost distractions wistful, eyeing DS's £££ lego collection the child won't have understood that you asked his DF to stop, he will have cried because he was moved from an activity. Forget about it OP.

That sounds very weird behaviour on their part OP - is there any chance they didn’t realise your drive was private ... kids don’t always get the boundaries idea ... mine don’t ... we are rural and to be fair it isn’t always obvious as we have a lot of common land here .. but I always make them come off peoples drives or if the6 stray onto the garden

FFS It's your front garden!! the Dad should not have been encouraging his little one to play somewhere inappropriate (and on private property) I hate the 'he's just a child that's playing' excuse too. It's not acceptable and he shouldn't have then tried to guilt-trip you into feeling like you are in the wrong for politely asking them to stop. Just because a child likes doing something doesn't mean that it's acceptable.

Yanbu. You didn’t make him cry, the father was being entitled I. The extreme. I don’t let my own kids play with my gravel drive. It makes a right mess.

@DayBath

You were technically correct, which is the worst kind of correct.

Standing on shingle to hear the crunch of different textures under your feet is fun, it was a small child, the Dad probably thought most sensible people wouldn't mind a child briefly walking on the very edge of a boundary to feel the difference underfoot.

Like I say, it's your property so you were technically correct. But you were a total dick about it and it wouldn't have killed you to just say good morning, smile and then go about your day would it.

We have some lovely shrubs on the edge of our front garden that toddlers love to stroke and feel the texture of. I can't imagine ever telling them to bugger off my property and causing them to cry, what a nasty piece of work you have to be to do that.

Looks as if you have mistaken this thread for creative writing.

They're lots of tiny little stones that get everywhere and never stay put

They are a pain in the bum!

We have them - even the sodding pigeons fling them all over.i

YANBU.

I have a child who is attracted to shingle driveways. I tell him he can’t (and physically carry him away) as driveways are people’s private property. I do the same when it comes to him wanting to walk on people’s garden walls. Its common courtesy as far as I’m concerned.

YWNBU - he was for setting his son up for disappointment by letting him play in your garden! When you say shingles do you mean small stones? If so then even more reason as a toddler could throw a handful of stones at the car quite innocently!

YaNBU the dad should tell his child not to play in other people's gardens!

Lived in our house for many years and have had countless toddlers playing with our gravel stones, I've normally smiled, our cars tend to bring them onto the footpath, so it's never entered my head to be cross or uptight about a little one, same comes to one of our cats, who gets spoilt rotten with all ages stroking him.:-)

children crying sometimes is no bad thing - they need to understand remorse and that making people cross has an impact. The mythical idea of ever happy children (or adults) is quite damaging in terms of resilience.

In all honesty I think you were petty. But that is your right.

I was about to say that you were being a little bit U, but then I read this:

For context, you have walk down my driveway off the main road about 15 metres or so to get to it

That's bizarre, and yes you were perfectly reasonable to ask what they were doing on your property.

What are shingles? Never heard of this, I just googled but it's just bringing up photos of the rash type of shingles

@arethereanyleftatall

I would have just let him play.

Me too. But then territorialism is a mystery to me, I just don’t understand it.

15m up a drive. Would you heck as like!

Picture that in your head. 15 adult long strides up a driveway.

@Isit2021yetplease

Was it really necessary? There isn't a whole lot for parents to do to entertain their kids right now - a few minutes looking at shingles on your front drive might have given him a few minutes peace! Yes technically they shouldn't have been doing it but a bit of compassion or ability to see the bigger picture might have been nice. What a grump you are.

But it's private property and the OP has every right to ask them not to.

We spray our gravel with weed killer etc to keep weeds and moss back. Not ideal an ideal playground for children, especially younger ones who put things in their mouths.

We also found that if played it the gravel travels and ends up all over the drive way and pavement. I don't want to keep sweeping back into place.

Forgot to add as well - plenty of places for parents to take their children outdoors, rather than someone's private garden.

Parks, fields, woods, etc are all available
Most playgrounds are now open.

How would you feel if a dog wandered onto your shingle?

I'd be bloody delighted, throw his ball for him and ask the owner his name

YANBU. All these people making out you were, they’d just let a bunch of random kids play on your drive? You can’t see my drive as you reverse on, I use the fence as a guide, he’d have a squished kid!

Yanbu, he’ll get over, hopefully his dad will too.

We’ve got a bit of shingle at the front of our house which we didn’t let DD play with when she was a toddler, no way would I now allow someone else’s toddler to play on it especially as it obviously on our property away from the boundary.

No, happens here too (also a new build). We have large stones around the edge to stop cars/vans driving over our garden (happened more than once) and ruining the grass. A lot of smaller kids like to jump on them and use them as ‘stepping stones’ when walking with their parents. Not a problem, we always smile and wave.

What I will not tolerate is kids like the ones when I got home from work the other week playing on my driveway or the ones from a couple of roads down using our end of the road for football. Everyone has gardens here and if their parents don’t want to hear them screaming and have the ball thudding against their cars and windows then I certainly don’t!

Yes OP you were totally unreasonable, should have offered them use of your back garden and a big bag to take some shingle home for their own personal play.

I'm particularly amused by a pp stating that you will not be able to rely on this family for support or pop round "for a cup of sugar" (do people do this?) as if you'll be in the middle of the road on the verge of death while this dad and his child walk by with him going "Look, that's the lady that wouldn't let you trespass on her property and play with her garden fixtures, fuck her".