Reasons my DH may end up under the patio...

[PringleMcDingle]

My top three...

1. He brushes his teeth with so much toothpaste that it ends up frothing and foaming everywhere. To wipe away this completely ridiculous amount of excess paste he always wipes his mouth on FRESH BLOODY TOWELS.

Every towel in our bathroom is covered in toothpaste. I swear on the odd occasion I've left something like pyjama bottoms on the radiator in there, he's pasted those too.

1. Instead of putting tea bags in the bin (which is right next to the kettle), he'll just leave them on the side or in something like a pan that's waiting to be washed by the sink. Why? Can someone, anyone, explain that to me?

1. Always asks me where certain items of clothing are without looking in his wardrobe. Or even worse, will ask me if he has any socks/underwear... Before just going to the sock/underwear drawer. I don't keep an inventory of sock availability... CHECK THE DRAWER.

So there, if you see me on the 9 o'clock news, you'll know that it was justified.

When (occasionally) he loads the dishwasher, he always, and I mean always, leaves one thing (plate/glass/bowl) on the side, even when the dishwasher is still half empty.

We have a shoe rack in the back porch. He always leaves his shoes on the floor, right next to the half empty shoe rack.

If he eats in the car (gross), he wipes his fingers clean on the upholstery (even more gross).

He never ever locks the front door when he comes into the house. I think we need a door with a catch that means it can’t be opened from the outside, even when unlocked.

He has never ever wiped the kitchen worktop. 😡😡😡

Oh yes, tells me we need dishwasher tablets AFTER he has used the final one!

1. Leaves his dirty dishes and cups stacked in the sink when the dishwasher is empty and then leaving dirty cups on the side ABOVE the dishwasher after being reminded that the dishwasher is empty

1. Shaving post bathroom clean and leaving hair EVERYWHERE!!

1. Putting a wet towel on top of a dry towel 😡

But despite that I do love the devil!

No woman would blame you I suspect - he's a bit "dirty pants on the floor next to the laundry bin" isn't he - men have been divorced for less I reckon - tell him once more and then give him a special towel just for him and refuse to do any of his laundry, and never never make him food or even a cup of tea until he stops behaving like a teenager

@Luckyrabbitfoot

Ho ho, isn’t joking about domestic abuse a laugh. Titter titter.

Exactly what I was thinking. Why make a joke about being treated like shit? I swear to God, some of you need to learn to stand up for yourselves.

@sleeplessinthecountryside

Also he always moves the hand soap from the sink to the side of the sink. Why? OMG I have so many......!

The classic leaving the toilet seat up. He used to put it down but has now decided this is pointless. Now I have 3 toilets with seats permanently up. Grrrrrrr!

Only pointless if he doesn't mind poo particles on his toothbrush or fishing out stuff that falls down the loo..

@wishes1111 are you having an affair with my DH?

Hilarious...

My 19 year old just came in and pointed out a long cobweb. Inspired by this thread I told him to get the mini hoover and get rid of it. He said do I have to ? I said yes. He did it.

No longer a problem as son has left home but before he did he would always say, Mum, what have you'd done with, where have you put my...where is my ..... Always the same reply, I tell him to look where he last had it, and yes, there it is, with no apology to me for the accusation for moving his stuff. I would never put him under the patio though, leave that to his DW!

I’m finding this post more and more unbelievable. Get a grip! You’re not there to service your partners.

My DH used to play 'teabag Jenga' on the counter by the kettle - there was always a teetering bloody pile of the bastards there, until the day that I lost my patience with asking him not to and told him if he did it again I'd put them all in his fucking pillowcase..! Happily, they now go in the bin where they belong.

My DH goes through a bottle of shower gel every week! No idea why he feels he needs to use so much. He says he doesn't feel clean if he doesn't look like a frigging snowman covered in so much lather in the shower. It's so irritating!

Asks questions I could never have the answer to e.g. why is the dog doing That? I don't know I don't speak fucking Dog!. Whose is that car. I don't know I am not the DVLA data base
Turns the tv down so I can hear the cooker timer beeping, doesn't say anything- I've started ignoring him and it.

Why are you with this dickhead?

@Oysterbabe your DH may have a sister, if so I married her.

I can tell when she has vacuumed because the vacuum is left out.

I can tell when the kitchen bin has been emptied because the bag hasn't been replaced.

I can tell when she has tidied because there is a box on the landing waiting to go into the loft.

She never ever finishes anything and cannot get rid of anything. She has a bag of knitting she started as a teenager and swears she will finish. We have teenagers that are older than when she was.

We have a small bedroom she has been promising to sort for over ten years, we can't close the door.

I see your toothpasted towels and raise you toothpasted curtains!

We wow have wet towels left in the bed

Wet towels on the bed

Mine is pretty well house trained but he never ever completes the task in hand. Washing up, leave a teaspoon. Putting the shopping away, leave 1 tin of beans out. Put the washing away, leave a pair of socks. Drives me insane

@isthepopecatholic I can't comment on everyone else but my comment was in jest (although he does do all those things) I promise I'm not married to a 1950s misogynist really. I'm sure he has a longer list of things I do that piss him off!

He’s obsessive about perfecting his pizza. After many, many discussions on the subject, he concludes that the dough I make is better than his.
He asks me to make more.
Then he stands over me telling me how much salt I need to add/how wet it should be/how long I should knead it for, apparently failing to realise that if I do it his way, I’ll be making his rubbish dough...

@Turnedouttoes

Mine shaves his stubble every single time I clean the bathroom. My lovely clean pristine bathroom then has little tiny black hairs all over the place. I find them stuck to the wall and everything!

My DH has a fogless mirror in the shower and shaves in there. He says that the steam softens his beard, so he gets a better shave and no mess around the sink.

@mummyof4kids

Mine is blind to any washing up and once I start doing the dishes he says "I'd have done them" So annoying lol

Immediately stop and say go on then and stop with the lol. It isn't funny.

I am lucky with my DH most of the time but two things he doesn't seem to see at all are toast crumbs and coffee grounds. They litter the kitchen and sink and get on me nerves!

Vigorously drying himself after a shower ( 2x a day) so body hair is on the floor and by now I could have stuffed a mattress.

'Filing' paperwork temporarily by placing it on any surface in the living room. For days.

Changing the loo roll (hurrah) but leaving the old one on the windowsill.

On the plus side he has has now learned to look back after flushing the loo, open the window and pour bleach in the pan if necessary.