Reasons why mine would go under the patio:
When using the tap in the kitchen, sprays water all over the work surface rather than just keeps it in the sink so water gets everywhere. It always looks like he has just put a spoon under the tap and let the water spray everywhere.
He never wipes up the kitchen water on the work tops and prefers to leaves puddles of water for me to wipe up.
He never closes kitchen cupboard doors. Leaves them open as he must think my hobby is closing them.
He sleeps facing me and snores in my ears and when I politely ask him to turn over he tells me he wasn't asleep.
Leaves the toilet seat up.
Can't find a new toilet roll.
Leaves clothes on the floor next to his wardrobe.
Asks me where stuff is before he has looked for it.
When doing a simple job, uses every single implement or tool in the house and then leaves every single implement or tool in the house for me to put away.
Tells me the skirting boards need a clean.
Gets out the bath and takes all the bath water with him and puts it on the floor (well, that is how it looks and feels). There is a bath mat but he doesn't use it.
Asks for a cup of fancy lemon tea with lemons and mint and stuff in it then doesn't drink it.
I'm ordering patio slabs now.