To feel weird about buying pre worn clothes

[unikitty08]

DC is starting nursery next month.

A few friends have told me how messy his clothes are going to get and not to send him in anything expensive.

I was talking to one friend about buying him a puddle suit and she recommended ebay.

She told me she buys a lot of her daughters clothes (especially for nursery) in bundles and they are “pre loved”

I was surprised about this as her daughter is always dressed in Next, Zara, Gap. Brands I would consider to be that bit more pricey.

When I was growing up, to buy second hand or use charity shops etc was a big no no.
It was viewed as though you didn’t have money or couldn’t afford nice things.

I don’t have this view of other people, particularly not now as an adult, but I do have this view of myself if I were to buy pre worn clothes.

I’ve had a look at some clothes bundles this evening and I’m shocked at some of the lovely things I could get, the puddle suit id seen for nursery, which brand new is £35, I can get pre worn worn for £5!

I don’t think I can bring myself to buy pre worn though, I feel weird about it, like I’m “hard up” or
a bit trampy.

I feel really envious now of the people that clothes shop this way, it would save me a fortune!

How can I get past my weird feelings?

It's not 'hard up or trampy'

I think the middle classes are the most likely to buy Preloved clothes. There is no concern regarding it, as there is no 'status' to prove. Plus Preloved is better for the environment.

It seems like those with the least seem the most concerned about buying everything new.

Almost all my children's clothes are either bought preloved, or hand me downs that have been passed on. They don't mind, and it saves money and the environment. Buying new is unnecessary, and consumerist.

It seems like those with the least seem the most concerned about buying everything new. At least the thread is consistent with the recurring theme.

When you stop to think about it we're all second-hand anyway. Every atom in our bodies used to be part of something (or someone) else.

Probably not adding anything new, but Ebay shopping was one of my addictions of early motherhood .
It was about saving money and being sustainable as much as the fun of bargain hunting. My daughter owned some really nice, well lasting clothes, a lot of them in practically new condition. I found out which of the eco / designer brands I liked wash best (cotton can get bobbly) and had 99% good experiences, clean, very good condition, long lasting etc., and cheap. You get the odd dud, but the complaint procedures work.
My daughter now has very specific taste and quite often wants an exact replacement of the garment she's just outgrown. It's normally long gone from the shops, but i can nearly always find it again second-hand.

Well done for challenging your own assumptions OP. I hope you win the puddlesuit to help.

I like to buy second hand too, both for environmental and frugality reasons. The extra cash is better in my pocket or being paid off my mortgage than the pocket of the big companies and contributing to environmental problems. Like a pp said, there are enough clothes for the next 6 generations, which is an appalling statistic when we know how resource intensive clothes production is.
I like to buy brands like frugi for my kids for the colours and designs, as well as the fact that they're an ethical brand. There are some really good selling groups on Facebook too as well which some people prefer the ease of over eBay, so if you know specific brands you like, it's worth checking Facebook for buy/sell/swap groups too.
My husband and I wear our clothes pretty much until they fall apart - I'm sitting here in PJ's I've had since I started uni 16 years ago and they're still perfectly fine.
I sell the kids clothes on again on eBay after and it works out that the cost to me once offset is negligible. I buy new for underwear and shoes.
Although you have just reminded me I need to search out boys trousers in 3-4 😁
I'd love to be able to mooch the charity shops for clothes, but there is very little in terms of clothes in the charity shops in my area, so eBay it is.

@TheSandman

When you stop to think about it we're all second-hand anyway. Every atom in our bodies used to be part of something (or someone) else.

I love thinking about this.

@TheCatWithTheFluffyTail

Where I live it’s the wealthy who buy second hand and the poor who buy brand new.

This is so true in the affluent area I live in! The wealthiest women I know in the biggest most expensive houses are always buy their stuff off the fb selling pages or pick up bits on freecycle (kids stuff)!

Most of my kids clothing was 2nd had but also good quality and excellent brands.

There was always a second hand sale Twice a year in a very affluent area near to me and quite often tv celebs were shopping for their kids too.

I don’t think I can bring myself to buy pre worn though, I feel weird about it, like I’m “hard up” or a bit trampy

Well some people can only afford second hand clothes and why should that make them 'trampy?'🙄.

We need to recycle and re-use and care about the environment a lot more. Landfills are full, planet is being choked. Partly because of 'I have to have new everything'.

If you prefer new just buy new, why not, but please don't be disparaging about those who won't or can't afford to.

Your comment reminds me of an ex-colleague who bragged on about only buying Kellogg's cornflakes. Cue assorted office bores chipping in that they would buy a Cadburys chocolate bar in a 'proper' supermarket but not the exact same chocolate bar in a pound store as you could taste the difference in quality, they wouldn't be seen dead in there..blah blah😴.

Really just naff working class snobbery about people who are 'hard up', as you put it.

I buy 90% on ebay or second hand shops. Its not tramps, its common sense.

Most of my clothes are second hand. I buy the very occasional thing new but the only thing I consistently buy new is underwear.
Pre-lockdown I'd usually have a quick browse whenever I passed a charity shop and have built up my wardrobe that way.
As others have said, new clothes are horrendous for the environment and way more expensive. Once you get into the habit of buying second hand, new stuff feels like an unnecessary expenditure.

My 3 children attend private school in a wealthy area and a lot of the mums at the school LOVE handmedowns! We are always giving each other stuff for the kids. I guess the difference is the stuff is coming from friends and not strangers from the internet. But personally I buy my kids stuff from Facebook marketplace all the time. They grow SO fast it's such a waste to buy brand new sometimes even though we can afford it.

Its also worth mentioning that a lot of second hand stuff obviously hasn't been worn (at least for adults). I think a lot of people buy things they love but that doesn't really fit and then it ends up sitting in the back of the cupboard for a few years until they have a clear out.

Kids grow out of clothes so quickly that some pre owned items are virtually new.

I’ve bought bundles from eBay before now, I’ve also sold bundles of DS Next clothes, the buyer did really well out of that as I completely misjudged the postage! Ah well! She loved the bundle and gave me a glowing review!

I’ve also bought some pretty decent coats, you can often buy NWT items, or barely worn. Just check the sellers previous feedback.

It’s a great feeling grabbing a bargain on eBay, it’s not at all ‘Trampy’

Yanbu. I feel the same way as I was brought up with not much money and now like to buy my dc nice things
Where I live now being dressed in hand me downs is surprisingly trendy. A few stains/ holes are okay. Some of the more sought after eco brands can sell for big money on eBay.

Hand me downs are now known as 'pre loved' still the same thing.

Clothes have very little resale value, so I give away my DCs’ things that are too small (mainly to charity shops and the best bits to friends), as it’s not worth the hassle of selling them. I don’t need to buy secondhand, so I don’t. I hope that when I’ve given a Harley coat or Clark’s shoes to the charity shop they’ve been bought by someone who can’t afford new and it’s a help to them (sadly it’s probably a buyer who likes a bargain instead)

Yanbu. I feel the same way as I was brought up with not much money and now like to buy my dc nice things

But a dress/puddle suit/jumper that's been worn a few times by another person's toddler is still a 'nice thing', you must see that. No-one except you know that it wasn't new, not that it matters.

Environmental reasons. Shouldn't everyone do what they can? Especially now? Even if you can afford new, in the grand scheme of things it's not going to help our children's prospects in the future.
I understand this sounds twee to most but it's everyone's responsibility surely?

Didn't Beatrice wear a second hand wedding dress? Wasn't it the queens dress? Or was it Eugenie that wore it? They're pretty wealthy and they're fine with wearing secondhand...

Both my dds wanted vintage or 2nd hand dresses for their weddings and they both looked amazing

My son wears pretty much all secondhand. The really nice brands from ebay 🤭 I'd rather buy nice things that have been worn once than cheap primark things new. Also need to save the environment right?

Baby clothes are often barely worn. You do realise brand new clothes are still handled by many people. Just have a real look through the pictures and throw them in the wash. I promise it's completely OK to buy secondhand clothes.

Pre covid I would only buy secondhand and LOVED charity shops (but we have really nice ones near us).

It sounds horrible to say but tends to be those from lower income backgrounds who want to only buy new things. I'm middle class and went to private school and me and my friends love secondhand. Not trying to be cringeworthy or goady but it's true - and not something many people talk about in real life.

Was talking to a Doctor I work with recently about school uniform. Her DCs go to private school and she buys nearly all their uniform from the second hand uniform shop the school run. It's actually more common in better off areas/private schools from what I can tell.

I love a charity shop, my best buys are usually coats as you can get them barely worn for under £10