To feel weird about buying pre worn clothes

[unikitty08]

DC is starting nursery next month.

A few friends have told me how messy his clothes are going to get and not to send him in anything expensive.

I was talking to one friend about buying him a puddle suit and she recommended ebay.

She told me she buys a lot of her daughters clothes (especially for nursery) in bundles and they are “pre loved”

I was surprised about this as her daughter is always dressed in Next, Zara, Gap. Brands I would consider to be that bit more pricey.

When I was growing up, to buy second hand or use charity shops etc was a big no no.
It was viewed as though you didn’t have money or couldn’t afford nice things.

I don’t have this view of other people, particularly not now as an adult, but I do have this view of myself if I were to buy pre worn clothes.

I’ve had a look at some clothes bundles this evening and I’m shocked at some of the lovely things I could get, the puddle suit id seen for nursery, which brand new is £35, I can get pre worn worn for £5!

I don’t think I can bring myself to buy pre worn though, I feel weird about it, like I’m “hard up” or
a bit trampy.

I feel really envious now of the people that clothes shop this way, it would save me a fortune!

How can I get past my weird feelings?

I buy lovely clothes for my kids secondhand, mainly from Facebook selling groups and before Covid, charity shops and nearly new sales. My kids generally wear what I consider to be premium brands like Frugi and Boden as a result. These brands are good quality so will hold up well for multiple children. Often people sell brand new with tags or things that have only been worn a few times - I only tend to buy that kind of stuff as you get really nice clothes that way with a bit of a saving. I don't think it's disgusting at all - and my three year old (who today I had to repeatedly tell not to eat a stick in the park) couldn't care less. I've even got a beautiful Burberry girls skirt from a nearly new sale - it only cost £5 and they cost over £250+ new. What's not to love. It doesn't even look like it's been worn.

@Oblahdeeoblahdoe The expensive independent schools usually have good quality uniforms built to last and worth investing in second hand whereas w.c area state schools are cheaper bar the crested jumper, they don't last the year and are not fit for a hand down.
The truth of buy cheap and buy twice.
The social economics boot analogy explains it well. Often the poorer pay far more in the long run.

The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.

Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.

But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.

This was the Captain Samuel Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness.”

― Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms: The Play

Second hand all the way here. And the clothes they (andi) wear are a thousand times nicer because of it. Always loved rummaging around charity shops, from teenager onwards. When nobody else did. My kids werebothbaptisedin a 100 year old family christening robe. Full of beautiful hand sewn lace. Would probably cost in the thousands to buy new/commission now. So not remotely trampy in our house. Alternative would have been some very boring highstreet factory made thing.

In relation to school uniforms my dc wore the same quality m&s stuff level in all their schools.

The only real difference was that they could buy the next size up secondhand in the private school.
It wasn't a quality difference so much as a difference in mindset.
In my sinkhole school wearing second uniform of any quality would have been unthinkable.

@Emeraldshamrock

The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.

Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.

But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.

This was the Captain Samuel Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness.”

― Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms: The Play

I see what you are saying but it seems on this thread the poorer people nowadays sometimes spend money on expensive designer stuff which should be good quality

Clearly you have never been to a NCT nearly new sale!
There is no stigma for the majority who the hell knows they are in good condition!
The majority of pre loved clothes I have bought for my son are in fantastic condition barely worn! No idea how as he trashes most things!

They go through so much clothes so quickly what's the point in spending £35 on a jumper that looks exactly the same as the one for £5 just to cut the label off!

Blimey my kids probably only have ever had 5% of their wardrobes that are new! All their lives they've had copious hand me downs (family and friends) and I also love a charity shop or eBay bargain both for me and the kids.

I'm from a wc background and my mum was a single parent, but my DH and I both have professional jobs, and I'd consider us to be comfortably off now. I actively love finding second hand or vintage bargains and I try wherever possible to avoid buying new!

OP - what do YOU do with clothes you don't like/your kids won't wear? Bin or donate?

I love second hand clothes. I've had loads of friends give me stuff for my kids I've so grateful for it, saves money (though we can definitely afford new) and hassle! When my first one was a baby and I didn't know anyone else with babies then I got loads off eBay in bundles. Massively handy.
I'm just about to donate a bundle of decent quality baby clothes to a local lady. Some will have been worn by all my 4 children and are still absolutely fine.
I love finding nice stuff for me in the charity shop though it's not often..
Also found a website selling good quality second hand clothes for kids.
Second hand all the way, no issue with it at all! Much rather spend my money on holidays!

I don’t know anyone that doesn’t buy 2nd hand clothes! I live in very naice middle class area, and second hand is the norm here. Good quality clothes go round the village multiple times. These are rural East Mids households with incomes upwards of £75k so it’s not about money. Second hand is definitely the way to go. I buy a few new things but most is gifted or bought used from Facebook and ebay. My best buy recently was £150 worth of branded toddler waterproofs for £30.

I love eBay and second hand clothes. As with your friend my dc are always dressed well in 'expensive' clothes. There is a difference in quality compared to primark how wet this isn't something i could afford to buy new (even if I could I wouldn't). The other day I got a bundle of 5 Ralph Lauren polo shirts and 2 pairs of Ralph leggings for £8. One pair of leggings in Asda is not much less than that alone. If they'd been worn previously you certainly couldn't tell. I also get all their riding gear. I got dd2 a pair of quality leather riding boots with an rrp of £45 for £5. When they came they still had the stickers on the sole. Seems bizarre that anyone would see this as trampy. Just good sense to me!

I buy second hand loads for my eldest as he is 3 years taller then his age so wears things for a matter of months and my younger 2 get given loads from friends. There’s a certain thrill to getting a GAP coat for £5 I know I need to get out more. Also it’s easier to find appropriate clothing as my first is really tall but not into a lot of ‘boys’ clothing so it’s easier to find nice colours and patterns without paying through the earth. I’ve had very few bad experiences buying second hand and when I have it’s still outweighed by the good (and they’ve just been a bit stretched or not in the sort of condition I would hope for nothing terrible).

I buy lots on ebay and I sold too, all the bits I sold were in mint condition, some never worn, some with tags, they go for like 20% of the price paid, so I am not buying brand new anymore.

expensive designer stuff which should be good quality

Now there's an oxymoron. They're selling the name, the cachet, the swank value - the quality of the product is of very little importance to those who make it. As long as it stays together long enough to go out of fashion they don't give a shit.

I buy 90% of both my clothes and kids clothes on eBay. We have a lot of Ralph Lauren, Timberland, Levis etc - top brands for 10% of what they cost new. And all items pass down from DS1 to DS2 before being passed onto the charity shop. Well made second hand clothes last far longer than cheap new clothes.

Bluntly, we're lucky enough to be well off. I don't buy everything second hand but I do buy plenty that is. The kids have also worn lots of hand me downs which I'm grateful to be given. In the same way, we pass on the kids' clothes, whether to friends, freecycle or on EBay. I can't bear chucking clothes in the bin, even trashed ones earn money for our charity shops in rag bags.

As well as being more environmentally friendly, I'm keen for my kids not to take expensive clothes for granted (they go to a private school where North Face, Canada Goose and Moncler type jackets are popular). Wearing second hand clothes, or stuff bought in the sale/at outlets/EBay, hopefully teaches them a bit about the value of money.

We live in an affluent area where the charity shops are very well frequented - I think being thrifty and wearing (nice) second hand clothes are possibly a badge of honour for many people...

We’re pretty well off. I hugely appreciated the second hand clothes I was given when DS was a baby - perfect for nursery. I still get given a few bits for him from friends with older kids and I’m always grateful for them, especially things like coats. I sell his old clothes on eBay and donate proceeds to a charity that runs women’s refuges.

Love vintage clothes myself and I sell my old stuff on ebay. It’s ethical, sustainable and green.

@makingmammaries

Think of kids in poor countries having to pick cotton or work in sweatshops and suddenly the appeal of new clothes will be much less.

This.

We buy second hand cars, live in rented or 'pre owned' houses, buy other people's furniture as long as it has an antique or retro tag.. It is all things which others have used before us.
Re using clothing is not 'trampy' (shameful expression by the way).
Go look at the fashion industry and see how shocking the practices are. We should all be embracing the second hand textiles market.

"The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.

Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.

But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.

This was the Captain Samuel Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness."

I know quite a few millionaires that dive around in 30+ year old Volvos...

@Slippy78

I know quite a few millionaires that dive around in 30+ year old Volvos...

Me too. When I worked in investment banking, my boss had a 7 figure bonus and drove a 15 year old Fiesta with moss growing out of the roof (much to our amusement). He was 6 foot 5, I was quite surprised he could fold himself into it.

Things are changing in w.c society. I talk to my DC about when they're in college, that wouldn't have been a conversation in many households around here as a DC now it happens in many, the DC has aspirations.
Teachers are predominantly m.c we've two teachers who attended the local school teaching there now it is good to see.

I've always bought new, because I like shopping and having new, fresh things - I'm not 'poor' or have ever been benefits as a pp suggested upthread.

I always will, because I'm lucky I can afford to and regards to the environment I have two daughters so my youngest gets her eldest sisters 'pre-loved' I then pass them to a family member who appreciates them because they don't have the disposable income to buy the same brands.

The snobbery on this thread is ridiculous, I don't mean from the OP either.

I knew it was bad for the environment to make clothes but wow. Didn’t realise how many gallons of water it took to make a t shirt or that there are enough clothes in the world got the next 6 generations. Wow. That’s madness.

Have only read the first page, but how can someone not understand how buying second hand is better for the environment?

I can afford new clothes but I buy a lot second hand these day, partly because I love being able to say 'I got this coat for 8 quid!' but mostly because I love clothes and the fashion industry is so bad for the environment that I feel like I am doing my bit by buying stuff second hand.

I don't get people who are funny about buying second hand?