to be so hurt at my dh actions ????? when things were going so well??????

[dressedup2goandseefireworks]

hi my dh and me are going thru a very bad patch at the mo

i was feeling lonely and rejected and sort vitrual company elsewhere long and short out if dh found some online convos and it all went pete tong

we hav decided to work on things and try to sort out what weve got for the better and i finally thought this week end we'd cracked it

but as part of our working together thing was to introduce dh to the www he's now on facebook and there is a new app called crshes on it and someone had left me an anonymous message so i told em i was flattered but married

then the other day i had a new one and i thought mmm this looks familir so i kind of left teasing questions asking who it was

i wasnt feeling well yesterday had d and v all day and night and went to bed early

i woke p this morning to find a really nasty message left by this crush who it turns out is my husband talk about walking into a trap

so do i let it go do i bring it up ??????

im so and

Don't you realise how much he is hurting? You betrayed his trust in you.. promised not to do it again, then twisted the knife by responding to more flirting! It was your devious actions that compelled him to be devious and test you. Yoy "failed" that test of your own free will!

Statistically it is more often men who behave like this, biologically designed, as they are, to respond to indications of "interested females." You are being very immature.

Are you looking for a way out of your marriage perchance, that has nothing to do with his recent actions?

Why are you so angry with your DH? Would you have preferred it if he hadn't taken any interest in your activities? What he's done isn't the most matured, but at least he was concerned enough to check.
Maybe he isn't doing this just to catch you out, maybe he's doing this to make sure you are serious about your commitment to work things out.
You seem to be blaming him for everything. Perhaps you need to put yourself in his shoes. Hope you sort it out. Gd luck.

why do you want to kill him though??? at the end of the day youdidnt even have to reply to the message...but you decided to.He will never trust you again unless you give him reason to....how do you stay in a relationship with no trust?????

dung, i'll give you a call later but i'm going to be really blunt here and suggest you pack facebook in.

Its caused you nothing but grief and at the end of the day your dh and dd its whats most important but you dont need me to tell you that.

xxx

fgs woman remove the crush application from your facebook profile if you have to have one.

If you're hurt be his actions imagine how he's feeling!!

You did something wrong and your DH has every right to be pissed off. You need to appologise, rather than focusing on how his reaction has made you feel.

Oops just re-read your last post, glad to see you've already removed all possible flirt-inducing applications. How about changing your privacy settings too?

And apologising to DH? (rather than wanting to kill him?)

You've already had your fingers burnt - so why would you add the 'crushes' application?

It seems childish of your DH but clearly he is left with trust issues and messing about with this crush thing is not going to help him.

Speak yo him and delete the application.

sounds like you both need to grow up a bit!

yabu to be angry with your dh. After what happened before it's to be expected that he might have trouble trusting you and you're fooling yourself if you think otherwise. I do hope that you can work things out now though. Definately bin facebook and stick with MN - we're much less trouble

delete the application from your facebook.
As for the question... I think it's not a very nice thing that your husband did but at least it shows he's jealous and sometimes, so long as it doesn't turn into an irrational obsession a little bit of jealousy can be good for a relationship.

I spend a lot of time on the internet, as does my boyfriend, but I would say rather than getting your husband more involved with the internet you should both be going out and doing stuff together away from the computer, which can be a fairly solitary thing.

I don't blame him for being angry. You would be to if the situation was reversed

My DH asked me not to go on chat rooms etc where I would be tlking to people of the opposite sex, I thought I he was over reacting until he asked me how I would feel...enough said.

However I am now on Facebook and have tried to get him on there to - he say's no . But everyone I talk to I have shown him and told him our connections and he is fine. I think you and your DH need to lay down some boundaires about what you are both willing to accept.

Either that or turn the PC off and pick up a book or watch a film!

As someone said above it's you who has done the series of wrongs and to blame him in any way is wrong.

May be block a lot of sites, give him all your pass words, if you do surf the internet do it together. Get talking about what the problems are and perhaps some counselling.

Why did you respond even in a jokey way is flirting really it is ...how would you feel if he did it?? Do you want this marriage to work or are you looking for a way out??

thank you all for your brutally honest opinions

i think i needed that

we have spoke and we are planning on counselling he apologised

he was trying to be funny i got the tone of the last message wrong too he thought i knew it was him

i have decided to facebook less and snog my husband more lol

i think this will help solve some of my problems

Well done, it takes guts to stand up and admit that you were in the wrong. I am glad that you and your DH have talked honestly and that you are going to counselling.

Good luck!

Glad to hear dresedup20go

Much better to snog your RL man that chat to virtual men (dont forget you can be anyone you like on the net, so could be a big horrible, pervy, greaser with green mold on his teeth, that your chatting to )

Hope it works out with your DH

good work dressedup!