Page 6 | To think it wasn't me that needed to apologise?

JustNotCoping123 · 2021-02-27T11:12:52+00:00

This morning I was in Tesco for some shopping. It's an express store so aisles are a lot narrower than in the bigger shops and there's less space. I was browsing by one of the shelves when a little boy (I'd say 4-5yrs?) who had been playing in the shop with his sibling ran straight into my leg. It was hard enough to cause him to then fall over and land on his bum. At which he promptly started crying. His mum saw the whole thing- she just stared at me and then said 'well aren't you going to apologise to him?' I just said no and walked off, to hear her then say to the little boy 'don't worry, some people just aren't very nice' Was I in the wrong? I don't have children if that's relevant, and this isn't meant to be a post judging the little boy's behaviour. I couldn't tell you if he was being naughty or if he perhaps had special needs. Either way it isn't particularly relevant as I think his mother should have apologised to me, not the other way round? It did actually hurt, and I have some health issues that cause me to be a bit unsteady on my feet anyway- that's probably not that relevant but thought I'd mention. So was AIBU? [confused]

mumof2exhausted · 27/02/2021 19:16

I have a 5 year old and I let him run around a shop with his brother which I didn’t pre covid and absolutely judge parents who let it happen now I would have made him apologise to you for banging into you. No wonder some kids are so bloody entitled this days. He was in the wrong. I hope you read these as some of the comments about you should have said “are you ok?” and you are weird not to are just banana. Crap mother not controlling her kid and rude kid.

Bluebellbike · 27/02/2021 19:53

I wouldn't have apologised. In fact if a child ran into my legs I would be the one falling over as my balance is so poor. Children should be under control in shops.

Baws · 27/02/2021 23:50

Time40

Of course you didn't need to apologise but it wasn't very nice to just say no and walk off

An out-of-control child crashes into someone and it hurts, and that someone ought to be nice about it? Seriously?

This 🖕
Some of the responses on here are unbelievable! Firstly, a 4 year old child should not be running around in a supermarket, that is clearly irresponsible parenting. Secondly, it’s unlikely that the child was badly hurt just from running into the OP’s leg FFS! You did the right thing in walking away OP, she sounds like a nut job. My DC wouldn’t have dared to run around in a supermarket and it would have been them making the apology if they had run into someone. At four you are old enough to take responsibility for your actions,

Jackie2022 · 27/02/2021 23:55

Ahh this has happened to me before! A child ran straight into me in a busy shopping centre, I couldn’t even move out of the way as there were people all around. She rebounded off my leg and fell on the floor and started crying loudly. I felt like actual Satan for making a kid cry! Her mum came over laughing and told her “this is why I told you to stop running!”

Made me feel better as I thought the mum may have reacted like the woman at your supermarket!

imalmostthere · 28/02/2021 00:06

I would have apologised to you if my child had ran into you - I have had the same happen, but my son wasn't looking where he was going, not running about. Complete accident, but I automatically apologised to the person he walked into. I would expect that to be the norm. I would though, in your position have checked the child was ok. Though I do understand you were probably preoccupied being shocked by the mums rude outburst!!

SnuggyBuggy · 28/02/2021 06:32

@Jackie2022

Ahh this has happened to me before! A child ran straight into me in a busy shopping centre, I couldn’t even move out of the way as there were people all around. She rebounded off my leg and fell on the floor and started crying loudly. I felt like actual Satan for making a kid cry! Her mum came over laughing and told her “this is why I told you to stop running!”

Made me feel better as I thought the mum may have reacted like the woman at your supermarket!

That's what I'd probably do with my DC, fussing over them when it's their fault they've hurt themself is surely just going to encourage them to do it again.

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 28/02/2021 06:45

I thought MN liked the response “no”. After all, it’s a complete sentence.

PurpleDaisies · 28/02/2021 09:00

@Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies

I thought MN liked the response “no”. After all, it’s a complete sentence.

In real life, it really isn’t. What arguments/discussions are ended well by someone just saying “no” over and over?

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 28/02/2021 09:28

Yes, @PurpleDaisies. I know just saying no doesn’t actually deal with problems in RL.

But it’s always being suggested here.

FWIW, I think the OP is one of the few times when it was actually appropriate.

SnuggyBuggy · 28/02/2021 09:50

I'd be tempted to say a Homer Simpson style "boring" in response to outraged entitled mummy.

Bluntness100 · 28/02/2021 09:52

I don’t think either you or the mother behaved well. She clearly should not have said what she said, but saying no and walking off is quite rude.

I’d have simply said, oh he ran into me, but I’d also have immediately checked if the child Was ok. It would have been a natural reaction.

AtSwimTwoBerts · 28/02/2021 09:58

I find it way more concerning that the child's own mother didn't give a shit that he was hurt. She just wanted op to deal with it. That's not parenting, that's not even caring

Probably because he obviously wasn't hurt. The dramatics are astounding, how empty is your life? go watch a soap if you need ta-dah moments and clifhangers....

LouJ85 · 28/02/2021 12:26

@AtSwimTwoBerts

I find it way more concerning that the child's own mother didn't give a shit that he was hurt. She just wanted op to deal with it. That's not parenting, that's not even caring

Probably because he obviously wasn't hurt. The dramatics are astounding, how empty is your life? go watch a soap if you need ta-dah moments and clifhangers....

Interesting how you've carefully edited this quote and taken it out of its original context, and then been very rude to the poster.

This comment was originally made in the context of other posters on here saying the OP "lacks empathy" because her first response (whilst being shouted at by a confrontational parent, let's not forget), wasn't to coo and fuss over the "injured" child who had just landed on his bum after bumping into her.

The poster who made the comment you have quoted, was simply highlighting how it's astounding that OP is expected to respond with such empathy towards said child, when mother's first response is to start yelling at random stranger instead of tending to her own child empathically herself (as a mother this would be my own first response - stoop down to pick up / check on child whilst simultaneously apologising to random stranger who my child had crashed into).

The original context aside, by your reckoning, if it's "dramatic" to suggest that the child was injured therefore no need for mother to check on his welfare, there was surely equally no need for OP to do so either?

Bluntness100 · 28/02/2021 12:43

The poster who made the comment you have quoted, was simply highlighting how it's astounding that OP is expected to respond with such empathy towards said child, when mother's first response is to start yelling at random stranger instead of tending to her own child empathically herself

How odd. The op never once said the woman started yelling. And most parents can immediately tell if their child is hurt, he fell on his bum, it’s not a long way down at that age, and she immediately wished the op to say sorry to her child. Which in my book is showing way too much empathy to the kid and not quite enough to the op.

LouJ85 · 28/02/2021 12:49

@Bluntness100

The poster who made the comment you have quoted, was simply highlighting how it's astounding that OP is expected to respond with such empathy towards said child, when mother's first response is to start yelling at random stranger instead of tending to her own child empathically herself

How odd. The op never once said the woman started yelling. And most parents can immediately tell if their child is hurt, he fell on his bum, it’s not a long way down at that age, and she immediately wished the op to say sorry to her child. Which in my book is showing way too much empathy to the kid and not quite enough to the op.

Ok she didn't use the word "yelling". She said she was angry and confrontational and that she was immediately demanding an apology the second it happened.

Nothing odd about it at all.

LouJ85 · 28/02/2021 12:51

And besides, you've missed the point again.

The person quoted by the rude poster above you, was not saying "mum is a shit unempathic parent", end of story. There was a context to her quote - that quote has been removed from said context. That was my point.

So there's no point then removing a part of my previous comment, out of its context, to make your own point. 🙈

Angel2702 · 28/02/2021 12:56

No you didn’t need to apologise but neither did you need to be so rude. Your response was very odd and rude.

BabblativeBean · 28/02/2021 13:44

He ran into you, she should have apologised to you.

She shouldn't let her ds run around supermarkets, next time he could run into someone who isn't so steady on their feet and knock them over.

Catlover77 · 28/02/2021 13:46

OP your response was not odd or rude. I can’t believe the crank comments on here

LouJ85 · 28/02/2021 13:50

@Catlover77

OP your response was not odd or rude. I can’t believe the crank comments on here

Me neither 😳

Baws · 28/02/2021 14:27

@Catlover77 @LouJ85
OP your response was not odd or rude. I can’t believe the crank comments on here

Me neither 😳

Same here! Where do these people hide in real life? 😳 I’m becoming increasingly baffled by some of the ridiculous views I’ve seen on MN. I’m fully supportive of everyone being entitled to their own option etc but some of the views on here are plain batshit! 😳

CrossUniStudent · 28/02/2021 15:21

Yanbu.

If his own mum who watched the entire thing wasn't concerned he was hurt, there's no need for anyone else to be and nor is your responsibility to check he's okay when his mum was right there.

She was entitled and no and walking off was a perfectly reasonable response to her.

LouJ85 · 28/02/2021 15:26

@Jeremyironseverything

You shouldn't have apologised but you should have said more than just no - just to educate the child if his mum won't.

Oh god. It gets better.

Since when has it become the responsibility of random members of the public to "educate" children when their own parent cannot or will not do so? I mean, where would we draw the line with this?! 🤷‍♀️