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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it wasn't me that needed to apologise?

148 replies

JustNotCoping123 · 27/02/2021 11:12

This morning I was in Tesco for some shopping. It's an express store so aisles are a lot narrower than in the bigger shops and there's less space.

I was browsing by one of the shelves when a little boy (I'd say 4-5yrs?) who had been playing in the shop with his sibling ran straight into my leg. It was hard enough to cause him to then fall over and land on his bum. At which he promptly started crying.

His mum saw the whole thing- she just stared at me and then said 'well aren't you going to apologise to him?'

I just said no and walked off, to hear her then say to the little boy 'don't worry, some people just aren't very nice'

Was I in the wrong? I don't have children if that's relevant, and this isn't meant to be a post judging the little boy's behaviour. I couldn't tell you if he was being naughty or if he perhaps had special needs. Either way it isn't particularly relevant as I think his mother should have apologised to me, not the other way round?

It did actually hurt, and I have some health issues that cause me to be a bit unsteady on my feet anyway- that's probably not that relevant but thought I'd mention.

So was AIBU? Confused

OP posts:
LucilleTheVampireBat · 27/02/2021 13:30

An out-of-control child crashes into someone and it hurts, and that someone ought to be nice about it? Seriously?

Exactly!! and OP is being told off for not showing concern for some random strangers kid after HE ran into her!

WaltzesWithSnobs · 27/02/2021 13:30

A child once took my purse out of my basket (also in a Tesco) and I had the audacity to ask for it back please. The adult with the child was scandalised!!

SnuggyBuggy · 27/02/2021 13:30

I'm also going to assume it was fairly obvious the child wasn't badly hurt.

LIamaDelRey · 27/02/2021 13:30

As I said, she wouldn't need to confront me, as I'd already be at floor level reassuring her child. The mum sounds like a total twat, the preschooler sounds like a typical preschooler.

ShimmyShimmyYa · 27/02/2021 13:31

you were in the right, Op.

LouJ85 · 27/02/2021 13:35

@LIamaDelRey

As I said, she wouldn't need to confront me, as I'd already be at floor level reassuring her child. The mum sounds like a total twat, the preschooler sounds like a typical preschooler.

She's said there were a matter of seconds between child hitting her leg, and mum demanding an apology.

No time for crouching down to his level to check he's ok.

partyatthepalace · 27/02/2021 13:35

No, she should have apologised to you, but you can’t tell her that now so just put it behind you.

LIamaDelRey · 27/02/2021 13:41

Aye, she did drip feed that, an hour after the original OP.

butterpuffed · 27/02/2021 13:41

Boy runs into you, falls over, cries. Mother blames you.

It's a non event, forget about it.

hansgrueber · 27/02/2021 13:43

Walking along a wide pavement on a very windy day I noticed a toddler pushing a toy buggy 20m or so ahead of me, no other adult in sight. A gust of wind blew the buggy into the road and the child started to run after it, I took off and managed to grab her before she got there. Her 'mother' who had been well behind came up and started to ramble on about how I could have hurt her arm when I grabbed her!

UrAWizHarry · 27/02/2021 13:45

'don't worry, some people just aren't very nice'

Seems about right.

hansgrueber · 27/02/2021 13:46

The original post reminded me about an American woman who successfully sued a supermarket because she had been injured when a boy wearing those boots with little wheels in the heels knocked her over. The supermarket managed to contest the verdict because the child was her own.

emmathedilemma · 27/02/2021 13:46

He ran into you......surely he should be apologising not you??

Ejvd · 27/02/2021 13:47

Ignore the replies saying that you should've asked whether the boy was ok. You reacted in a good way. You were the only one owed an apology. And judging by the mothers unreasonable behaviour, it's best that you quickly extracted yourself from further conversation and potential confrontation. If you say sorry, she can start making out that you have admitted that you are guilty of something.

WWJackieWeaverD · 27/02/2021 13:48

Goodness me, the number of posts who seem to object to an incredibly rude person (the mother) receiving anything but an overly courteous response astonish me.

OP, I don't think you were rude back at all; I think you were remarkably restrained in the face of very bad manners and an overinflated sense of entitlement.

rawalpindithelabrador · 27/02/2021 13:50

@WWJackieWeaverD

Goodness me, the number of posts who seem to object to an incredibly rude person (the mother) receiving anything but an overly courteous response astonish me.

OP, I don't think you were rude back at all; I think you were remarkably restrained in the face of very bad manners and an overinflated sense of entitlement.

It's MN. I'm surprised there hasn't been a suggestion that the OP paid for the woman's shopping and then emptied her bank account at the cash point outside and handed it to the woman, she was surely stressed and needed support and care.
PurpleDaisies · 27/02/2021 13:51

You’ve forgotten the key British rule of all social interaction. Apologise at every possible opportunity. I’d probably have said, “I’m sorry but he ran into me.”
“No” as a response was a bit rude but you didn’t need to apologise for anything.

Not having kids is a total red herring and I don’t know why you’ve even mentioned itz

Okbussitout · 27/02/2021 13:56

@WorraLiberty

I just said no and walked off, to hear her then say to the little boy 'don't worry, some people just aren't very nice'

Well she's got a valid point. Some people are just not very nice.

And being completely unconcerned about a small child whose crying because he's hurt himself, would put you in that category for me.

An actual 'I'm sorry' would've been unnecessary as you didn't cause the accident but to show no concern at all, is just cold.

When his mother is right there? It's not anyone else's job to give a shit about a child when their parent is there supposedly watching them. Feels very precious that you'd feel the need for a stranger to check on a child in this situation.
Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 27/02/2021 13:57

I thought the thing to do in these situations was to go home and put it on the local fb groupGrin
No way should you have apologised!

SmudgeButt · 27/02/2021 13:57

I might have just laughed and said "well it's a good thing he ran into me rather than something hard or sharp!"

LouJ85 · 27/02/2021 13:57

@LIamaDelRey

Aye, she did drip feed that, an hour after the original OP.

Hardly.

Her OP says

^*I was browsing by one of the shelves when a little boy (I'd say 4-5yrs?) who had been playing in the shop with his sibling ran straight into my leg. It was hard enough to cause him to then fall over and land on his bum. At which he promptly started crying.

His mum saw the whole thing- she just stared at me and then said 'well aren't you going to apologise to him?'*^

She saw "the whole thing". I picked up from that she was a matter of seconds behind the child and on top of the OP instantly. I didn't even need the "drip feed" to realise that - I just interpreted it from the OP.

emilyfrost · 27/02/2021 13:58

I also think it’s weird you didn’t say anything to the child. Even if it was only “seconds” before his mother spoke to you your immediate reaction should have been to ask if he was okay, and that takes less than his mother noticing and turning to speak to you.

LouJ85 · 27/02/2021 14:00

It's MN. I'm surprised there hasn't been a suggestion that the OP paid for the woman's shopping and then emptied her bank account at the cash point outside and handed it to the woman, she was surely stressed and needed support and care.

😂

Glitterblue · 27/02/2021 14:03

@KingAlex

I would have said "Oh dear, are you ok?" It's odd that you didn't acknowledge him at all, that's probably what got the Mum's back up.

But no you didn't owe him an apology and she should have said sorry to you.

Exactly this.
AtSwimTwoBerts · 27/02/2021 14:04

All this angst and namecalling, for what? Logically looking at it, it would seem that from her perspective it looked like you knocked him over. Which was not the case, but if that was what it looked like to her, she would have expected an apology from you. You could have said to her " he knocked into me actually".

Simple misunderstanding, no need for the dramatics.

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