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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF or am I being really tight?

156 replies

BudgieIsAHelicopter · 25/02/2021 22:58

I’ve made face masks for my own/families use. A friend has seen the ones I’ve made and has asked if I’d make him a couple using a fabric of a particular film series if he bought the fabric. I’m happy to do this.

He sent me a link of fabric, I said it wouldn’t work because the pictures on the fabric were too big and it wouldn’t look right when I cut it up so sent a link of one I thought would be better suited. He replied that looks great, do you want me to give you any money for it?

I don’t know why this has really annoyed me 😂 I feel like I’ll look really tight saying yes transfer me the £6 for the fabric so think he knows I’d say don’t worry about it.

If it was me I would have just ordered the fabric myself and not assumed anyone else would pay for something I wanted. For what it’s worth, I would never have asked for money for making the masks, time spent or the elastic that I’d need etc.

I feel annoyed that giving my time to make them isn’t enough, now I need to pay for the privilege of doing it too. And yes I know I’m over reacting and don’t have anything worse to worry about 😂

OP posts:
Lampan · 26/02/2021 10:54

I’d say “if you send me the fabric no I won’t charge for making the masks”

Jeremyironseverything · 26/02/2021 10:55

It'll be interesting to see what he says.

WildfirePonie · 26/02/2021 11:29

What a CF. I'd reply with this:

Brilliant - Glad we found a fabric. The total cost for the fabric + elastic + my time is £enter amount.here

Payment can be made to:
bank:
account number:
Sort code:

or Paypal:

I will then order the items once I receive your payment and the turnaround time is about 2 weeks.

Bollox to him, the CF.

StellaDendrite · 26/02/2021 11:51

OP, You don’t want to pay for the fabric so why are you agonising over this so much. It’s really weird! Just ask for the money or ask him to buy the fabric. Just be honest and straightforward about it. There is no need for all the analysis and drama.

I can’t see any downside at all about replying to his message with a request that he pays you for the fabric or that he gets it himself?

mainsfed · 26/02/2021 12:28

@StellaDendrite OP has already said she will message him and ask him to have the fabric sent to her! What more do you want from her, a promise in blood?

Nocar · 26/02/2021 14:36

I think problems like this arise because people are just not clear what their expectations are over money.
You have a poster up thread picking shopping up for a family member, saying don’t bother to pay, but happy that the family member secretly put money in her pocket after a bit of ‘ oh don’t bother charade’.
I am a generous person, but I couldn’t be bothered with it. If you offer to buy me a drink, a meal, whatever. I will ask what how much I owe you, if you say nothing then I’m not arguing with you. I will thank you and remember to pay for something next time.
If you want paying just say it, or don’t offer. But don’t start whinging about someone who is not privy to the unwritten rules that govern how you spend your money.

If the person in the ops thread is a cheeky bastard, then why worry what he thinks of you for asking for the money you are owed.

Tanfastic · 26/02/2021 15:46

My mum made masks for friends and said she would but they had to pay for the material. Material can be expensive!

Personally I couldn't be arsed with him. I'd bat him off. I think he's chancing his arm.

Sparklfairy · 26/02/2021 15:55

It's the word 'any' that removes any ambiguity or misinterpretation here. Hes chancing his arm for sure. Just do as PPs suggested and say drop it over when you've ordered it or send it straight to mine, whichever is easiest for you. I'd add 'oh and grab some elastic while you're there as I've run out' but he'll probably charge you pro rata for the ones you don't use for him Hmm

Sillysandy · 26/02/2021 16:11

I assumed he was just asking would he order the fabric himself or would you prefer to be reimbursed but I've changed my mind since reading your update. What's a CF getting you to pay half the postage on top of a present he asked you to buy him?

I would be annoyed too at him even trying to trick you into purchasing the fabric. I'd say "no I don't mind doing masks for you as a favour, just order me this elastic when you're putting the order through and we will call it quits."

Roszie · 26/02/2021 16:14

Just say I usually charge £6 each but seeing as you're buying the fabric I'll make them fire free once you drop it round.

Sorted.

Mrstwiddle · 27/02/2021 00:50

I think it’s fairly obvious he’s just tight. Personally, I’d charge extra to include all your costs e.g. elastic too, can’t stand mean people, and he knows exactly what he’s doing by asking what he did.

Porridgeoat · 27/02/2021 03:58

Stop being so wet and making a big issue out of nothing. Just ask him to send the material to your house

Taikoo · 27/02/2021 05:23

YANBU.
I hate stuff like that.
Tell him to sort out the fabric himself and only then can you make him his masks.
In future, I'd avoid him because he's clearly a tightarse.

Howshouldibehave · 27/02/2021 08:27

So, what did you say to him, @BudgieIsAHelicopter?

ThinkingIsAllowed · 27/02/2021 18:31

he is an absolute CF!

WannabemoreWeaver · 27/02/2021 18:40

I dont think you are over reacting. If he wants a specific fabric he can either get it or pay you. I gave my friend £6 per mask when she used her own fabric.

mylifestory · 27/02/2021 21:30

He is asking u to make them and buy the fabric of his choice? just ignore it, so when he say something tell him u were waiting for him to get the fabric so u cd make them and expect the favour returned.

Holirem2 · 27/02/2021 21:33

@SnarkyBag

Just reply “if you pop the fabric round once you’ve ordered it I’m happy to make it”
This
mummydinosaurRawr · 27/02/2021 22:00

If he doesn’t sew then maybe he’s got no idea how much fabric to order. Even if it is sold in small quantities it will be enough for more than one mask so either:

  • tell him how much fabric he needs to order and make it up for free
or
  • give him a price and order the fabric yourself if he pays you.
angelfacecuti75 · 27/02/2021 22:27

Men tend not to get hints. I think its perfectly polite to ask him to get the fabric for you as other people have suggested .

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 27/02/2021 22:31

Men tend not to get hints.

Maybe not, but they are still perfectly capable of understanding that it costs money to buy things. Well, the non-CF ones do, at least.

AnotherKrampus · 27/02/2021 22:33

I'd not reply and let him come back to you and then act surprised that he hadn't ordered the fabric yet. I'd be all jovial and tell him to call it just a Fiver to make it, very much emphasising that you are still doing him a favour charging so little. It's good to establish some healthy boundaries and stops this person from taking you for granted.

Changedname476 · 27/02/2021 23:03

@BudgieIsAHelicopter

The material I sent a link for will work, it’s a smaller patter than on the other one.

I sent the link thinking he’d order it if he liked it, he knows how much it is from that.

I always feel a bit awkward asking for money off people, I only agreed in the first place because he wanted a specific thing and said he’d get the fabric for it.

Ugh you are making this such hard work seconding guessing @your friend@

Just reply

I made a couple masks fit my family, you wanted a "Star Wars/ whatever he did want, version. You showed my material that wouldn't work, I've suggested something that might. If you want 1,2 masks made as a favour, order the material , drop it off and I will do my best, as a favour ,
Regards, OP

Ratherberightthanhappy · 27/02/2021 23:38

@BudgieIsAHelicopter

I’ve made face masks for my own/families use. A friend has seen the ones I’ve made and has asked if I’d make him a couple using a fabric of a particular film series if he bought the fabric. I’m happy to do this.

He sent me a link of fabric, I said it wouldn’t work because the pictures on the fabric were too big and it wouldn’t look right when I cut it up so sent a link of one I thought would be better suited. He replied that looks great, do you want me to give you any money for it?

I don’t know why this has really annoyed me 😂 I feel like I’ll look really tight saying yes transfer me the £6 for the fabric so think he knows I’d say don’t worry about it.

If it was me I would have just ordered the fabric myself and not assumed anyone else would pay for something I wanted. For what it’s worth, I would never have asked for money for making the masks, time spent or the elastic that I’d need etc.

I feel annoyed that giving my time to make them isn’t enough, now I need to pay for the privilege of doing it too. And yes I know I’m over reacting and don’t have anything worse to worry about 😂

Reply "no, I'm happy to pay for it all myself for you" then make sure to sew a fresh prawn into the hem Wink
Ddot · 28/02/2021 05:52

He's a grabby git. Say please order fabric give him amount you need because you will only end up paying.
Say you normally charge 20pound for three but you can work out some discounts