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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF or am I being really tight?

156 replies

BudgieIsAHelicopter · 25/02/2021 22:58

I’ve made face masks for my own/families use. A friend has seen the ones I’ve made and has asked if I’d make him a couple using a fabric of a particular film series if he bought the fabric. I’m happy to do this.

He sent me a link of fabric, I said it wouldn’t work because the pictures on the fabric were too big and it wouldn’t look right when I cut it up so sent a link of one I thought would be better suited. He replied that looks great, do you want me to give you any money for it?

I don’t know why this has really annoyed me 😂 I feel like I’ll look really tight saying yes transfer me the £6 for the fabric so think he knows I’d say don’t worry about it.

If it was me I would have just ordered the fabric myself and not assumed anyone else would pay for something I wanted. For what it’s worth, I would never have asked for money for making the masks, time spent or the elastic that I’d need etc.

I feel annoyed that giving my time to make them isn’t enough, now I need to pay for the privilege of doing it too. And yes I know I’m over reacting and don’t have anything worse to worry about 😂

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 25/02/2021 23:25

....And apart from any of the other circumstances, the question "do you want me to give you any money for it?" is clearly deliberately designed to expect/invite the answer "No" or otherwise leave you feeling guilty and unreasonable if you give any other answer. 100% CF.

Notaroadrunner · 25/02/2021 23:28

I'd also say to get the fabric delivered to your house to save him having to drop it round. No way would I be ordering it for him.

Bluntness100 · 25/02/2021 23:28

The first poster is right,,just text him and say no of course not, don’t be silly, I will make it as a favour. Just pop the material through the letter box when you have it.

It gives him no way out, if he then says oh can you buy it, just say oh no sorry I can’t but happy to make it for you.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 25/02/2021 23:32

Massive CF.

I think I’d go back with “it’s ok, I wasn’t planning to charge you for my labour, electricity, thread, or elastic. Just get me the fabric”.

MsOgyny · 25/02/2021 23:34

Agree with others. Don't foot the bill. I'd say "didn't mean you necessarily had to order that one specifically, just that kind of material and that size pattern on it would work better. Feel free to look around online for other options too - I didn't spend long on my search - then let me know when you've ordered something and I'll get sewing! No charge for my seamstress skills ;)"

Downthefarm · 25/02/2021 23:35

Just ask him to order it, to save you time.

PuppyMonkeyBaby · 25/02/2021 23:37

‘Great. If you order the fabric no charge for my time! grin Drop it round or have it sent to me, whatever works.’

I like this.

clpsmum · 25/02/2021 23:38

What @SnarkyBag said

CypressSwampmaiden · 25/02/2021 23:38

Definitely don't pay for the fabric yourself. He's being a real CF if he expects you to buy the fabric on top of the thread, elastic, etc. and the work of making it!

I'd go with the suggestion of telling him to either drop it by or have it shipped directly to you. You're flexible! Wink But tbh, I wouldn't want to make it for him at all, after that! Obnoxiously grabby!

Maxellious · 25/02/2021 23:39

Echo all the replies. And to add, you aren't unreasonable. All crafty people know the pain of non-crafters not understanding the time / effort / cost that goes into this stuff.

frazzledasarock · 25/02/2021 23:40

You’d be a mug to buy the material and make the masks for him.

What’s wrong in asking someone to pay for the materials for something they want?

He doesn’t feel it rude trying to sponge off you. You should not feel awkward asking him to pay for the fabric.

If you’re too embarrassed to ask for money, don’t respond at all, then when he chases you for the masks say, when did you place the fabric order I haven’t got it yet.

But if you can’t ask people to pay for their own fabric, you should just say you only make masks for immediate family as people expect them to be made for free and that leaves you out of pocket.

Twillow · 25/02/2021 23:41

Of course it's not tight to ask him to order the fabric. Fine if you want to make it for free, though, your time is also worth something!

endlesswicker · 25/02/2021 23:43

You're not being tight - he is taking advantage of your kind nature and is trying to pull a fast one.

Lou98 · 25/02/2021 23:44

Are you sure he wasn't saying it as in do you want money to make it (once he's bought the fabric) rather than saying do you want money for the fabric iyswim?

If not and he meant he wants you to buy the fabric then YADNBU!

Viviennemary · 25/02/2021 23:46

Just say you're a bit busy at the moment.

sweetnessnfight · 25/02/2021 23:46

@SnarkyBag

Just reply “if you pop the fabric round once you’ve ordered it I’m happy to make it”
This
PyongyangKipperbang · 25/02/2021 23:48

"Dont worry about money for making them, just pop the fabric round when it's arrived and maybe wrap it round a bottle of [Your favourite wine] ;) "

SenselessUbiquity · 25/02/2021 23:49

"Ordering a metre will get you about 6 double masks, so get that, and drop it round - so that's half a day's work at £200 and I'll throw in the elastic and the thread for free"

neutraliseacid · 25/02/2021 23:50

Is it Star Wars? I’m imaging Star Wars.

Agree with PP that it’s a shitty thing to ask cos it’z a question designed to make you feel like you should say no of course not

FiveNightsAtMummys · 25/02/2021 23:52

I'm imaging star wars too

BlueThistles · 25/02/2021 23:55

I always feel a bit awkward asking for money off people, I only agreed in the first place because he wanted a specific thing and said he’d get the fabric for it.

Don't make them.... and when he asks where they are.... tell him you were awaiting him bringing you the material 🌺

honestly you cannot subsidising everyone around you... because people will take the PISS 🙄

PyongyangKipperbang · 26/02/2021 00:01

I got a load of fat quarters of Harry Potter fabric when Aldi were selling them 12 months ago. I got so many requests for masks after I made them for me and the kids, so I am imagining that!

Thing is, what started out as "one for a mate" got me through £20 worth of fabric, so I wouldnt be paying for the supplies at all. I dont mind with mine so much as they all offered to pay, and they were all just one off's here and there from something I already had. But his assumption that you would pay would piss me right off.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 26/02/2021 00:02

Just reply No don't be daft, just buy the fabric and drop it round whenever. Won't take me long.

Hexinthecity · 26/02/2021 00:08

Fuck that noise, pull him up on it!
Are you kidding? Mate I’m offered to do you a favour making it for you for free with my time, I’m not bloody well bank rolling the materials as well you cheeky bastard. Order the fabric and send it round (with a bottle wine if you’ve got any sense of decency!)

FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 · 26/02/2021 00:12

I think he's pulling the classic cf trick of asking if you want him to pay (when of course you fucking do, why wouldn't you?) knowing that you'll feel like you're being tight (you're not).

Most people in his position would just say "Right, I'll get that ordered, shall I have it sent straight to you?" Or even "Would you mind ordering it and I'll give you the cash when I see you?"