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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to tell every mother on mumsnet...

999 replies

LastRoloIsMine · 25/02/2021 22:18

We nearly lost the word mother and all that comes with it?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4176497-History-in-the-making-Watch-Parliament-Live-at-2-30pm

The maternity bill wanted to remove the word mother/woman and replace it with pregnant person.
Those words are important and women have fought for a century to be recognised yet we were nearly wiped out in favour of belief not fact.

I wont say "I am not transphobic" like some sort of plea! I dont actually have to I am just fighting for womens rights no need for me to explain myself any further.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
Thewithesarehere · 26/02/2021 00:02

@Pugdoglife

I'm waiting for Mumsnet to change its name to 'personwithparentalresponsibilitynet.com' don't want to be using the word mum if mother is so offensive.
Lol.
MistressoftheDarkSide · 26/02/2021 00:02

Agree with wanting to be recognised as people, fair point.

But this is about sex specific rights and legislation with regard to pregnancy, and the fact that were a bill to be passed regarding fathers, they wouldn't be referred to as sperm donors, I'm sure.

Original poster
LastRoloIsMine · 26/02/2021 00:03

Cailleachian

Can anyone get pregnant?
Can anyone be black?
Can anyone be a child or a pensioner?

This is not a bill that exists for anyone. It is specific because only women get pregnant and because of that we need laws to protect us.

OP posts:
MrsBrunch · 26/02/2021 00:04

@Pugdoglife

I'm waiting for Mumsnet to change its name to 'personwithparentalresponsibilitynet.com' don't want to be using the word mum if mother is so offensive.
At least it will be the end of MIL threads Grin
LastRoloIsMine · 26/02/2021 00:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ChevyCamaro · 26/02/2021 00:05

It’s part of a drive to eradicate gendered language in legislation and was designed to protect women. Eg to ensure that firemen became firefighters, chairman became chairperson etc. It’s a pretty sound principle.
Don't be silly. Firefighter became a word because men AND women can be firefighters. MOTHER is a thing ONLY women can be. Literally every single human being on the planet grew inside a mother, like it or not.

Deadringer · 26/02/2021 00:06

So is Mother's day being renamed? Asking for a friend.

ChevyCamaro · 26/02/2021 00:06

Yeah. ParentPerson Day

tobee · 26/02/2021 00:07

@Justanotherworkingmom

I really couldn’t care any less about this and don’t think I know anyone IRL who cares.

What the legislation says or doesn’t say is utterly irrelevant to me.

Yet you're bothered enough to contribute to this thread? Strange

Clymene · 26/02/2021 00:07

Well you could have engaged rather than telling women they were working their silly little heads over nothing @Bookishnerd but I guess you're not going to bother.

Mockolate · 26/02/2021 00:07

So is Mother's day being renamed? Asking for a friend

No.

Sapho47 · 26/02/2021 00:07

@Shouldershrugger

So women aren't allowed to refer to themselves as women or use the usual womanly terminologies now?? This is starting to really piss me off now. And no, I'm not transphobic. But I believe I should be able to identify and use womanly terms as I bloody please. I'm not standing against anyone but I'm standing up for myself as a mother, sister, daughter, wife, auntie and most importantly a woman!
No not at all.

Its so that when dave the trans man with his 6 inch long beard attends his doctors appointment the doctor doesn't have to keep referring to him as the mother.

Given this site is predominantly your sex is set and can't be changed the op is complaing that some women don't want to be called mothers and is demanding that their wishes be ignored and they be called it anyway

Original poster
LastRoloIsMine · 26/02/2021 00:08

So is Mother's day being renamed? Asking for a friend.

Clinton's will charge even more for the cards given the word count..."Happy person who gave birth day"

Doesn't quite have the same fluidity does it? Wink

OP posts:
Sapho47 · 26/02/2021 00:08

@Deadringer

So is Mother's day being renamed? Asking for a friend.
Well no because the trans man parent would just celebrate on fathers day
PicsInRed · 26/02/2021 00:09

@AnnaPotter

How? How are those things affected by a piece of legislation using the phrase ‘pregnant person’ instead of woman? Be specific - what harm would that phrase do to you?
You can jog right on with your pregnant "person" nonsense.
Sapho47 · 26/02/2021 00:09

@ChevyCamaro

It’s part of a drive to eradicate gendered language in legislation and was designed to protect women. Eg to ensure that firemen became firefighters, chairman became chairperson etc. It’s a pretty sound principle. Don't be silly. Firefighter became a word because men AND women can be firefighters. MOTHER is a thing ONLY women can be. Literally every single human being on the planet grew inside a mother, like it or not.
But man is gender neutral in English so why change chairman to chair person.

Makes no sense

Pugdoglife · 26/02/2021 00:09

@ChevyCamaro

Yeah. ParentPerson Day
Happy parent person with a cervix unless you don't have a cervix but once did day
Bookishnerd · 26/02/2021 00:10

Hi @Clymene
I’m genuinely sorry to have upset you.
I wasn’t saying that we shouldn’t worry our pretty little heads.
I was saying that it’s possible to hold both views at the same time.
I’m going to duck out of this now

MistressoftheDarkSide · 26/02/2021 00:10

Eh? Man is gender neutral? Since when? Confused

Original poster
LastRoloIsMine · 26/02/2021 00:11

Sapho47

The only thing I am demanding is that women are called women and in law we are recognised regarding our sex specific needs.

You are correct your sex cannot be changed in reality.

OP posts:
makingmiracles · 26/02/2021 00:12

Well I’m pleased at the result. Totally ridiculous idea to change maternal terminology to suit an absolutely minute number of persons who are offended by the terms mother and breastfeeding.

I find it a little odd those people who are so offended by those terms yet they procreate, do they find their own physical form offensive during pregnancy? I’m sure if asked hcp would use those terms if asked by a TM but they absolutely shouldn’t be standard to suit a tiny amount of people.

I highly doubt there are many tm/tw on MN but i do know for fact that TRA frequent MN all the time, I’ve seen hundreds of posts on twitter signposting TRAs to MN threads, they love to create an argument about stuff and give the illusion there are so many of them affected, they are right, we are wrong etc etc.

Trolling basically that MN probably cant do anything about for fear of being known as transphobic/ having TRAs pressure advertisers and sponsors and MN losing income.

PearlescentIridescent · 26/02/2021 00:13

Not reading the full thread.

The very first comment addresses how I feel. It's a question of proportionality. 50% of the population are women and mothers and happy to be reffered to as such, the world is not going to flip on its head and never refer to women as mothers again, or suddenly unlearn the fact that the vasy majority of humans who give birth are happy to be defined as what they biologically are - female.

I won't pretend I am not surprised that this has happened. But do I think that it represtents the end of womanhood or the erasure of womanhood? Absolutely not. No one is forcing you not to be defined as a woman. The legislation will simply cater also towards anyone who is not comfortable being defined or labelled as a woman, even if they are biologically female.

Datun · 26/02/2021 00:13

Its so that when dave the trans man with his 6 inch long beard attends his doctors appointment the doctor doesn't have to keep referring to him as the mother.

Given this site is predominantly your sex is set and can't be changed the op is complaing that some women don't want to be called mothers and is demanding that their wishes be ignored and they be called it anyway

No it isn't. It's about legislating every mention of the the word mother from a bill about maternity rights.

And it's about three hours of speeches today, from the House of Lords, where almost every single member of the house decided it was wrong.

And, yes, of course your sex is set.

No-one gives a toss whether or not someone's doctor doesn't use the word mother in order to not upset them.

MrsBrunch · 26/02/2021 00:13

the doctor doesn't have to keep referring to him as the mother

I can't imagine any doctor would do that. I expect they would adapt the language to that specific person at that particular time.

That would be the appropriate way to approach that situation.

That does not mean that 'pregnant person' it has to be placed in legislation to refer to all pregnant mothers.

Bookishnerd · 26/02/2021 00:13

@Clymene - before I do duck out, I thought it was worth saying that it might be helpful for all of us to give each other the benefit of the doubt and not assume the worst of each other before commenting.

I wasn’t trying to belittle the debate, I was saying that it’s a false dichotomy. But anyway. I’m a mother (I think the word is important) and I have a baby who barely sleeps so I have no idea why I’m on an Internet forum after midnight, arguing with strangers who want to think the worst of me

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