To not understand why some parents make such poor food choices for their kids?

[Quit4me]

I was standing behind a mum with 2 children in a queue the other day. One child was a baby laying almost flat in a pram aged about 3 months. The other was around 6. The baby was really sweet smiling out of the pram which is what drew my attention to them. Then she grizzled and the mum said ‘whopps sorry I took away the milk buttons didn’t I. She was feeding her (the baby) milkybar buttons. Quite a lot of them.
I then noticed that that the mum was overweight, the nan who was also with them was overweight and most sadly the 6 year old was very overweight /obese.
Why would any mum be feeding their 3 month old chocolate? Obviously the whole family and little girl could have had a medical condition but Barring that why don’t parents see that feeding them sugar and too many processed foods early on is creating so many health problems for their children?
It makes me actually quite angry and sad for the children and I cringe seeing it.
Yes I know it’s none of my business directly, but this is everyone’s business because it’s a huge problem for the UK and is going to increase multi fold in the coming years.

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

For a lot of people of course lockdown hasn’t helped. I know I’ve gained a lot of weight!

Been a bit of a mixed bag I think, I know some say they’ve gained. For others I think Covid has really thrown the health risks from obesity into sharp relief and so they’ve lost weight since the pandemic began. It’s certainly harder now to try and ignore the health risks from obesity, though once Covid is behind us I suspect that will come to an end.

[quote SakuraEdenSwan1]@Quit4me intentionally fat shaming a new mum, you are disgusting.[/quote]

But she already had an obese six year old, so it's obviously not just a new mum finding her way thing is it?

@Rainboom

Irl i rarely see fat children

Do you live in the UK?

I agree with those who say we've lost sight of what a 'normal' child should look like, weight wise. You should be able to see their ribs.
We only have to look at the old 70s programmes to see what children should look like and most children these days do not look like it at all.

You are not wrong to think this will impact negatively on the child but you are wrong to discuss it on a forum with strangers...
Keep your judgements to yourself as ultimately you are just putting yourself in a negative light and people are now thinking badly of you - not the mother you describe.

@Rizzoli123

"I don't agree with your statement about this is causing many health problems"

OK try this one;

www.walesonline.co.uk/news/health/woman-too-embarrassed-go-smear-1860531

@CovidCrow ikr, I saw a extremely overweight little girl and it was heart breaking tbh

an*

@killickthere

How the hell did we collectively arrive at a point where feelings outweigh facts, each time and all the time, and where people get viscously labelled for commenting on objective reality?

Fat people are fat. The UK has become the fattest nation in Europe. It is far from unusual to see three generations of obese people together.

Being fat does not make one a bad person. Being fat as a nation is a huge problem and each fat individual contributes to that problem. These are facts yet they are becoming unsayable, just like saying a woman is an adult human female is becoming unsayable.

The politics of individualism - started by Thatcher - have been taken to the extremes of madness. There is no possible justification for giving a baby chocolate unless the baby is starving, which the baby in the OP was not.

Thank you @killickthere. I don’t believe I have called anyone names or been unkind- just stated the facts as I saw them and shared thoughts. Not with the intention of shaming but discussing why parents make poor food choices (of which some posters have given some thought provoking answers) and really how can obesity in the next generation be tackled and slowed. If we don’t talk about this crisis , I feel it’s getting more and more minimised and normalised, this can’t happen if the obesity trend is going to be slowed in this next generation. Shouting any anyone who brings the topic up and label them as fat shaming is just intended to slam the lid on any conversations what so ever.

@User17930472

You are not wrong to think this will impact negatively on the child but you are wrong to discuss it on a forum with strangers... Keep your judgements to yourself as ultimately you are just putting yourself in a negative light and people are now thinking badly of you - not the mother you describe.

I don’t want people to think badly of the mother I described and quite frankly I couldn’t give a toss what people think of me. Again, slamming the lid on any discussion on this issue. It’s a discussion forum. I’ve mentioned no names or places, nor called anyone any names.

There are some very disingenuous posts on here.
'We have to talk about it'. Really?
So discussing how awful it is to give children sugar and allow them to be overweight, with a bunch of mostly like minded people, is doing exactly what to solve the problem of obesity?
This is just another thread where some people can enjoy feeling that they are better parents than other people.

@KarmaStar

Those saying op is bu,I wonder if you had seen the same thing,would you Have noticed?thought anything about it?judged? Too many people say don't judge but then judge some posts and are very quick to pile in on the poster. We are in a pandemic,,people rarely go out and so probably do take more notice of things,events,people around them and it gets them thinking then want to share their thoughts,concerns,not sure if being u,as in the poster's position and one about some children not having shoes. Nobody is perfect.

Thank you- it is interesting how the ‘don’t judge’ brigade are always the quickest to judge themselves. See it many times on here

Gosh is this true? I've always thought it a bad thing I can see my kids ribs and felt they were too skinny (nothing I can do z they eat what they eat) so this makes me feel much better.

@5128gap

There are some very disingenuous posts on here. 'We have to talk about it'. Really? So discussing how awful it is to give children sugar and allow them to be overweight, with a bunch of mostly like minded people, is doing exactly what to solve the problem of obesity? This is just another thread where some people can enjoy feeling that they are better parents than other people.

Yes, you are right. Let’s no one talk of it anymore. I’m sure it will all go away and everything will be hunky dory.

I know an idiot that feeds its baby hot dogs for breakfast. Turns on the tears if anyone challenges her. Also, feeds other kids a takeaway, after they had nothing to eat all day. Parenting, sometimes, does not come naturally. Bftlog, can her mother not guide her. Nuts....

I think one major problem is that it seems we can’t talk about people being over weight without people getting offended / defensive.

Our nations obesity needs to be addressed, and something need to be done. It’s crippling the NHS

Not with the intention of shaming but discussing why parents make poor food choices (of which some posters have given some thought provoking answers) and really how can obesity in the next generation be tackled and slowed.

So now it’s been discussed for many pages, what’s your big plan to tackle and slow obesity OP?

I think there’s massive peer pressure to make unhealthy choices. The school packed lunch gives kids pizza, ice cream, biscuits, cakes. Unsurprisingly dd now wants school dinners.

I think one major problem is that it seems we can’t talk about people being over weight without people getting offended / defensive

Perhaps it's the judgemental way in which it's discussed? People tend to go on the defensive when they feel judged and then they're not likely to want to engage.

Our nations obesity needs to be addressed, and something need to be done. It’s crippling the NHS

Actually the early deaths attributed to obesity save the NHS approximately £3.2 billion a year, much like smoking does, bringing the net cost of obesity down to around £2.1 billion - roughly 2% of the NHS overall budget. That's not to say its not a significant spend but it is not crippling.

So now it’s been discussed for many pages, what’s your big plan to tackle and slow obesity OP?

No one on power will tackle it because it involves throwing a shitload of money at the problem. Investment is one of the major ways in which it could be improved. Things like things like SureStart and children's centres, parks, play areas, sports clubs for both children and adults, overhaul of the PE curriculum, mental health services, extending the Healthy Start scheme, removing the benefit cap and increasing minimum wage, school meals provision, council run gyms and sports centres, and so on.

Instead of wagging a disapproving finger and tutting about personal responsibility and willpower, the reasons behind obesity need to be addressed and the barriers to healthier lifestyles need to be removed. Once that happens, the rate will fall, but it needs money.

It's sad I think there is a lot to be said for offering free nutrition classes but I'm not surprised. You only have to look at the likes of Jamie Olivers campaigns to see how little people understand about the importance of nutrition and how to cook basic meals.

When I was on the maternity ward with DS the lady in the bed opposite to me partner arrived whilst she was trying to feed the baby. He said baby clearly doesn't want milk let him have some irn bru and proceeded to try and give his newborn irn bru. Thankfully the midwife was in earshot and he got a bollocking about how baby should only be having milk and put a stop to it. I would hope that he is in the very very few minority but sadly in some cases not.

For any of us facing a life long struggle with sugar I think it's obvious why this is wrong but it's also so complicated. Do we trust parents to know how to feed their children and how do you change dietary habits which have been formed through generations.

OP didn’t create a thread about a 2 year old eating cake at a picnic, although you would think it from some of these replies!

She made it about somebody feeding a baby that was probably months away from being safely weaned chocolate while they were lying flat.

Yes apparently chocolate buttons melt in the mouth, but had the baby coughed etc it could have inhaled it and choked.

And that’s not even getting started on the unhealthy aspect.

Many, many people on here start threads to comment on something they saw which they found odd, people only accuse them of being ‘goady’ or ask what they’re going to ‘do’ about it when it is obesity related. This is an Internet forum, it’s a sounding board, not a petition website. People discuss things, mainly pointlessly, it’s what these websites are for.

You have no idea how old the baby is. I'm not saying it's necessarily ok to feed it to them of they're over weaning age but it would make your post less contentious. Baby may well be old enough for "food" even if it's isn't the best choice of food

It's so complicated.

I'm fat, I was a fat kid too. I am really trying my best not to make the same mistakes with my toddler. I understand nutrition and cook healthy meals, but it's something I have to give a lot of thought to.

I have to ask myself what a healthy weight person would eat/portion sizes. It does not come naturally to me as I have never really managed it, I can lose weight or gain weight but I find it such a struggle to maintain, there is 8 stone difference between my highest and lowest weight and ATM I'm somewhere in the middle.

It's a mindset I have to get into to be able to lose weight, I think I am a comfort eater, when things are going wrong I want sweet things to make me feel better.

But even when I'm fatter like now it's not because I just live on crap. I still get my 5 a day and eat well and that is the example I want to model for my toddler, it's when he is asleep that the sugar fix happens

Just for context, my toddler is allowed sweet things, I am wary of making it the forbidden fruit so he does have chocolate and ice cream in moderation but it does not make up the majority of his diet.

He eats avocado, salmon, prawns, most veg, Greek yoghurt, only ever brown bread etc. But if you saw us out together and we were eating an ice cream, you would probably judge us, I wouldn't blame you tbh. He is 98th centile for height and weight so in line with each other but he is big. DH is 6ft 5 and I'm 5ft 10 so I guess genetics plays a part but I am aware that people probably thing I feed him rubbish all the time when I really don't.

The issues run deeper than just not eating crap, it's hard to explain if you don't need to think about everything you eat and are feeding to your kid, I have to think about whether a normal healthy weight person would eat it and it's hard to judge sometimes but I'm trying my best and that's all I can do!

Just to give you a glimpse into the issues you're talking about lol, I have no idea what the solution is, I want to fix this and make better choices for myself and my child but even I don't know if I am managing it so someone who doesn't want to has no chance to be honest!