To not understand why some parents make such poor food choices for their kids?

[Quit4me]

I was standing behind a mum with 2 children in a queue the other day. One child was a baby laying almost flat in a pram aged about 3 months. The other was around 6. The baby was really sweet smiling out of the pram which is what drew my attention to them. Then she grizzled and the mum said ‘whopps sorry I took away the milk buttons didn’t I. She was feeding her (the baby) milkybar buttons. Quite a lot of them.
I then noticed that that the mum was overweight, the nan who was also with them was overweight and most sadly the 6 year old was very overweight /obese.
Why would any mum be feeding their 3 month old chocolate? Obviously the whole family and little girl could have had a medical condition but Barring that why don’t parents see that feeding them sugar and too many processed foods early on is creating so many health problems for their children?
It makes me actually quite angry and sad for the children and I cringe seeing it.
Yes I know it’s none of my business directly, but this is everyone’s business because it’s a huge problem for the UK and is going to increase multi fold in the coming years.

I think you over-egged it a bit with the stench of childhood diabetes wafting from the pram. (The eggs are Creme ones of course)

I actually agree op. Regardless of why this happens (lack of education, poor role models or whatever) I'd probably be similarly shocked - as would most people on here if they were honest about it

I dont think anyones actually approving of feeding a three month old buttons.

Just that in the current situation, presumably given they were all together and the baby and child wasn't home with another parent, ita sadly quite possibly another example of a woman taking the brunt of childcare homeschooling and parental care in a pandemic, i think 5 mins peace with some buttons is just a bit more relatable than we'd like at the minute.

So a 3 month old baby is laying flat in a pram tucking into to a packet of milky buttons by the hands of his/her mother?

A full size milky button to a 3 month old baby?

Forget the weight of the family, that's asking for a choking surely?

Thanks to the replies so far engaging in conversation.
To answer a few..
I didn’t really take much notice of the family before I saw the baby-lots of adults are overweight I really didn’t take any notice, the child was playing on some nearby grass at first. I only noticed because of the smiling baby.
The baby was propped up a little in the pram with a cushion and the hood was fully down. It was easy to see her from 2m in the queue and I was standing behind them for a good 20 mins.
I have kids of my own and lots in my family of a wide range of ages, and am fairly good at guessing kids ages.
I am not a new poster. Been here for years but I do regularly name change.
I don’t know what I’m going to do about it really. I do want to do something as it does make me angry but currently as I’m wfh and have children to homeschool, time is tight. Maybe in the future I will look into something.
I certainly wouldn’t have confronted her. My own children were with me and I would never have wanted to embarrass or make some sort of scene in a family place. Totally not the right thing to do.
These conversations need to be spoken about though. Brushing the increasing levels of obesity under the carpet and shouting down anyone who dared have a discussion as ‘fat goading’ or similar is not the way forward

@Badabingbadabum

Whether this is a goady post or not, what I do find interesting is how I was given baby rice at a very young age, juice, sweet baby purees, chocolate, sweets growing up etc. My mums' generation ate sweets, pop, puddings as well but no where near as many people were overweight or obese as they are now.

No one is going to agree that giving a very small baby chocolate is a good thing but I don't thing small amounts of sugar occasionally is the cause of the growing number of obese people in the world.

Back then I imagine people spent far less time sat on their arse staring at the tv/games/tablets etc.

People were out, kids played outside, they could afford to have more treats because they were burning it off constantly.

If the baby was propped up in the pram I doubt she was 3 months old.

@peachgreen

Ahh, the goady fat-shaming made up bollocks thread of the day has arrived!

A succinct summary.

They don’t know any better maybe? Or they themselves were brought up like that? Lack of awareness? Laziness? A host of reasons.

Yup I agree with you OP. It’s depressing seeing kids being fed crap and it’s annoying when parents put it in their kids lunchboxes at school as well. There’s absolutely no reason for a baby to be eating let alone choc buttons.

I see feeding kids nothing but crap as as a form of abuse, physical abuse.

How to eat and live healthily IS taught in schools. All the kids in my primary school form about the age of 8 upwards can tell you what they SHOULD be eating and how they SHOULD be exercising to keep their bodies healthy.
They still mostly prefer chocolate and chips. School is also fighting against what happens at home and the messages that are given out by their parents.
Children (mostly) follow the eating patterns of their family. Not what school tell them they ought to do.

What do you want people to say OP?

Yes you're right they are fat lazy feckless parents who make poor choices for their kids?

Maybe try looking at the bigger picture.

Stupid fatties at it again, eh?

What others said.

I know by sight the family of a little boy who goes to nursery with my DD. I get the sense that the mum/possibly both parents have some learning difficulties. I've repeatedly seen them out shopping, young child in the pram staring at a screen and more or less having his mouth opened and some chocolate/crisps shoved in.

FWIW I run a food bank and we find that people do make healthy choices if given the opportunity - we ask people what they'd like in their shopping and literally everyone leaves with tinned fruit/veg, bananas and apples.

Though I wonder if the baby was older than you thought - I quickly lost my ability to distinguish under-1s once mine was older.

@ComtesseDeSpair

This, 100 times over. My parents never spent any time with us, were never affectionate but gave us sweets as their way of rewarding/showing love. It's taken me a long time to realise that is why I feel so happy when I have something sugary, why I want it so much. I can easily see how the pattern repeats and unconsciously I do it too so I have to really be mindful of it to restrict what I give my children. Food issues are so complex.

Just that in the current situation, presumably given they were all together and the baby and child wasn't home with another parent, ita sadly quite possibly another example of a woman taking the brunt of childcare homeschooling and parental care in a pandemic, i think 5 mins peace with some buttons is just a bit more relatable than we'd like at the minute.

Or she could just be a woman who is on maternity leave with a 3mo going out for a walk. I am not for one minute suggesting that the scenario you describe isn't happening (I am similarly dismayed at the disproportionate number of women who are juggling homeschooling, childcare and working where their partners apparently cannot/ will not) but the most likely scenario here, given the baby's probably age, is that the woman is not currently working.

Personally I'd be more inclined to give the buttons to the 6 year old for some peace...

@Ilovemaisie

If the baby was propped up in the pram I doubt she was 3 months old.

The baby wasn’t propped up sitting, just slightly on an an incline with padding under and at the sides. Still nearly flat. Baby was far too young to be even starting to sit

I agree with you but alot of people think parents can do whatever they want with their own kids. I was waiting to get a sandwich from a cafe one morning and a woman had a kid in a pushchair, probably 2-3 and opened a pack of strawberry pencils and just gave him the pack to munch away on while she queued to get their breakfast. So the first thing the kid has eaten, first thing in the morning is a pack of sweets, then a sausage roll.

@halllftheworllldawway

What do you want people to say OP?

Yes you're right they are fat lazy feckless parents who make poor choices for their kids?

Maybe try looking at the bigger picture.

I want a discussion about it without nastiness or blame. The bigger picture is that nearly 70% of adults are overweight / obese and not much is being done currently to slow the trend down. Anyone who dare mention is is slammed as deeply unpleasant, goading or fat shaming. There is literally no way to discuss this without being called names for doing so

Or she could just be a woman who is on maternity leave with a 3mo going out for a walk. I am not for one minute suggesting that the scenario you describe isn't happening (I am similarly dismayed at the disproportionate number of women who are juggling homeschooling, childcare and working where their partners apparently cannot/ will not) but the most likely scenario here, given the baby's probably age, is that the woman is not currently working

Quite possibly. I feel for anyone having a baby in the past year really. Huge chunks of time on their own due to not being able to have partner with you. No school to give you a chance to recover from the birth. Alot less money if partner not on full pay on furlough, or the worry of a husband/wife on the front line with a new baby to worry about. Must be a recipe for PND tbh.

Given that we have been in a pandemic for a year now, I think parents of small children should be given a lot of latitude. Not ideal food, but honestly, she might be at the end of her tether, like a lot of people.

Some people cannot wait to give kids sugary foods. My mother is one of these- gave my one year old her first ever chocolate when I wasn't looking despite me clocking an earlier attempt and telling her no explicitly (toddler DD now won't eat anything except junk food at my mother's house and it's apparently my fault, somehow).

My mother wasn't allowed sweets at all as a kid and very much equates the giving of stuff that a kid will like with showing love for the kid. Don't know what the case is for the family you observed, obviously.

How do you know the baby was 3 months? I don't think any of my 3 had enough teeth at 3 months to eat buttons.
If this is true then it's sad but as you said absolutely none of your business.

@AnitaB888 it is some years since I left school (25 this year) but our GCSE was titled ‘Food Studies’ and tbh I could’ve learned more about cooking from a Maths lesson (where they occasionally used recipes as examples). My DM went to the parents evening and mentioned to the teacher that I was disappointed at the lack of actual cooking and the teacher replied that you could get through the entire two year course without having to cook a single dish! It was all about advertising, labelling etc. No idea what it’s like now though.