To not understand why some parents make such poor food choices for their kids?

[Quit4me]

I was standing behind a mum with 2 children in a queue the other day. One child was a baby laying almost flat in a pram aged about 3 months. The other was around 6. The baby was really sweet smiling out of the pram which is what drew my attention to them. Then she grizzled and the mum said ‘whopps sorry I took away the milk buttons didn’t I. She was feeding her (the baby) milkybar buttons. Quite a lot of them.
I then noticed that that the mum was overweight, the nan who was also with them was overweight and most sadly the 6 year old was very overweight /obese.
Why would any mum be feeding their 3 month old chocolate? Obviously the whole family and little girl could have had a medical condition but Barring that why don’t parents see that feeding them sugar and too many processed foods early on is creating so many health problems for their children?
It makes me actually quite angry and sad for the children and I cringe seeing it.
Yes I know it’s none of my business directly, but this is everyone’s business because it’s a huge problem for the UK and is going to increase multi fold in the coming years.

it’s played on my mind since and I guess that’s partly what’s led me to post about it here

Has it now? Oh bless your goady pants!

The mum likely doesn't know any different. If that's how she was raised then why would she do any different? Chocolate is yummy, the kids like it and she turned out ok, right?

There was a massive boom in crap, highly palatable food during the 80s and 90s and loads of people ate it because they didn't know it was unhealthy. We know better now but it's hard to shake what you've known your entire life.

That being said, there are so many resources on healthy eating, but some people just ignore it. I was surprised that a mum from a baby group allowed her 6 month old to eat almost a whole slice of cake while we were out at a cafe, he had pear juice with it as he didn't like water. The group had covered nutrition just a few weeks before and his mum had nodded sagely at the advice about not having sugar before 1.

@SimonJT it’s not ‘fat bashing’, get a grip

Irl i rarely see fat children

Attending school regularly and engaging with the education on offer, access to the internet, the knowledge of where to seek out information (e.g., baby books) and the means to do so - all signs of privilege. Not everyone has access to it, not every knows how to access it, not everyone knows what to do with the information even if they could access it.

You might also want to check your terminology as "mentally handicapped" is from the dark ages and no longer in general use due to it being fucking offensive.

Disingenuous

I’ve gone half way through the thread, I usually don’t like to comment until I’ve seen everything but I’ve had enough.

I’m morbidly obese. I’m very happy to discuss that with anyone should they wish. I don’t think anyone wants a discussion about obesity though, they just want everyone to know how much better they are. What is it exactly people want to discuss? ‘OMG FAT PEOPLE SO FAT, KILLING THEIR KIDS OMG”, isn’t a discussion, no matter how articulately you frame it.

The problem is like so many things obesity isn’t just the domain of the lazy and feckless, but as long as that is the dominant consensus nothing will change. There are a myriad of reasons we are seeing more obesity, taking sweets away from the check outs won’t fix it, sugar tax won’t fix it. Alcohol is expensive but alcoholics still buy it.

Talk about obesity all you like, but unless you’re trying to understand the many possible reasons someone might be obese, and what can be done to support people to a better, healthier weight, you’re engaging in a superiority circle jerk and nothing more.

@AnitaB888

I brought this up on the thread about parents not being able to afford shoes for their DCs and got lambasted for it. Apparently I was being prejudiced and didn't understand their situation.

I've seen mums in supermarkets with trolleys piled high with crisps, sweets, biscuits, cakes, fizzy drinks and a total absence of fresh fruit & veg.
Usually the mum is morbidly obese, (but I'm not allowed to say that because it's 'fat-shaming')
Some supermarkets offer free fruit for kids to eat, so they must realise it's a problem.

The answer IMO is better education - don't they teach domestic science/housecraft any more at school?

This makes me mad - if mums/parents want to eat 'junk food' and shorten their life expectancy, that's their choice but they shouldn't force their unhealthy choices on their children.

To be fair, a lot of people like me, but fresh fruit & veg at certain places where it's nicer and fresher. If you saw my trolley in a supermarket you'd be wondering where the fresh stuff is but I just hate supermarket veg, it goes off before you get home! Especially ALDI

I can't get out of a supermarket fast enough, especially these days. I quickly get what I need and that's it.

I can't imagine clocking a family in the supermarket (I barely notice people), studying their figures and food choices, then taking myself off home to write a post about them.

You + boring pseudo-nutritionists = Dour Dementors.

Anyone who dare mention is is slammed as deeply unpleasant, goading or fat shaming

So what? Scorn is dripping from your words, you are being goady and fat shaming. Why be snippy? just own it.

Notwithstanding you've hit all the trigger points haven't you?
3 generations of fatties, chocolate (of course) etc..what are the odds?

Sapho47
assuming you're not mentally handicapped

Is this a 1950s time capsule or has someone from the 1800s resurrected from the dead?

We have become a national of fat sluggish supermarket-aisle-browsing waddlers.
That's the bare simple truth. Great fat waddling families browsing the endless aisles of endless sugary salty and fatty snacks. Eating too much of the wrong stuff is a national addiction.
It makes me so sad to see fat children who can't even walk normally waddling along, victims of fat feeders.
I speak as a food addicted adult who had to weigh herself every day and maintain strict control if her intake- I was raised by fat parents. Parents who would be considered pretty much average weight by today's inflated standards regarding what is a normal weight. We have a national case if cognitive dissonance when it comes to weight. I lost 4 stone 2 years ago and was told I looked emaciated, yet I was slap bang in the middle of my normal weight range.

I was however a skinny child, my issues with food didn't start until I was an adult. So I at least had a memory of being a slim child- when children are fat from the get go they haven't ever experienced their bodies working at optimum fitness, being able to move freely and easily. It is very sad.

Yes there is such a thing as personal responsibility but equally one can't ignore the context in which we live, which is a world which is geared up to be all about sales, marketing and consumption. Speaking generally, for a lot of us, our wardrobes are cluttered, our houses generally are full of too much stuff, and there is an over abundance of food available. Under-regulated capitalism.

I must admit I always got a shock (pre Covid) when I walked along the aisles of a British supermarket. Other countries in Europe are catching up unfortunately but I am still shocked by the amount of floor space given over to sweets and biscuit and artificial cakes and ready prepared meals. Aisles of them.

Governments can definitely help their citizens and their future health budgets by bringing in some moderate measures related to sugar taxes, the management of where fast food outlets are allowed to proliferate, legislation about population density and the provision of fruit and veg, home economics in schools, more sport in schools, more after-school classes for DC etc.

It's not rocket science but successive governments are all about the fast buck.

Only on MN do people talk about children's meals and diets etc. How a meal has too many 'MN carbs'.

I assumed that most parents these days know what they are supposed to be giving their kids. Most mothers round here don't give any sugar and BLW and only eat snacks of cucumber and cherry tomatoes. At party's! But actually presumably not. Seeing as most of us are overweight?

They’ve made a lifestyle choice for their children that has been their own, and consequently being obese can be the result for their kids. Of course though, you can’t remark on being obese about anyone even on an anonymous thread because that is “fat-shaming”. But it’s a real shame to see especially in young children, because what starts in childhood becomes the adult.

Some posters are making short term excuses for this, they have a new baby, they’re stressed, in a pandemic, busy at work, relationship issues, whatever. But to get to the point of kids being very overweight is not the result of short term parental stress and giving too many treats for a year, it’s a long term lifestyle situation that has developed into ongoing habits. And it is a parental choice over a long period to chose not to do anything about it. It’s sad.

@Quit4me intentionally fat shaming a new mum, you are disgusting.

So know we can't point out the obvious and say someone is fat or even think it because that would be fat shaming? The op said they were obese, three generations of a family. That indicates genetics and probably a lack of awareness of about portion size and healthy food choices. How we as a society can help is complicated, you have to recognise there is a problem in the first place and if you can't say someone is overweight you aren't going to get very far. I don't believe that anyone is that sheltered that they can't access information about food that are healthy and foods that aren't. However many people may not know what to do with that information or those types of foods may be outside their budget, they may not know how to cook with them or have the utensils or gas/electric to be able to do so. It isn't as easy as they are just feckless parents almost all of us try to do the best that we can for our kids. It is quite sad really.

@Whatwouldscullydo

"Only thickos with little education have the weight problems yet, school streets are clogged with 4x4s 40 mins before schools starts lest the child has to walk more than 6 feet "

You nailed it here ^^ - and - few of these 'Chelsea Tractors' have more than one child in them. (Environment anyone ?)If parents have enough money to run and fuel these gas-guzzlers, then they have enough money to buy healthy food.

To say nothing about the risks of rows of parked vehicles clogging up the street, causing congestion and kids running out from between them.

Whatever happened to going to school on your bike, bus, or even shock horror - walking [shocked]

If parents are bothered about road safety then what's wrong with 'walking buses' organised by parents on a rota?

If you had seen me in the supermarket yesterday you would have said that about me OP. I was buying yoghurt peanuts and southern fried chicken. However, for six days a week we eat Quinoa simmered in tomatoes, onions and spices, or stews cooked for hours with vegetables. The last time I went shopping I bought Rice and miso . The point is, cooking those two healthy meals a day takes time, energy and lots of washing up and I have to get up at six am so I can do it while wfh, homeschooling and everything else. Not one of my children is overweight- in fact they are all slim. Sometimes it’s just nice to slam something in the oven and not think about it. Nobody is perfect, so I try not to judge anyone in case I get judged myself.

If parents are bothered about road safety then what's wrong with 'walking buses' organised by parents on a rota?

I live near a school. The "road safety " issue is cos of the selfish parking and thr fact no one is prepared to walk. Ihave to drive to my dds school but still.walk further further half the locals. If you look at the admission criteria schools in some villages etc many make it literally make it less than a mile out for admissions. There should hardly be any cars for that distance.

It's weird that my mum was constantly on a diet when we were young and enforced that diet on all of us I still remember getting lettuce sandwiches in my packed lunch but couldn't wait to give the dgc chocolate and buy junk food for them and insist it was healthy

@Whatwouldscullydo

If parents are bothered about road safety then what's wrong with 'walking buses' organised by parents on a rota?

I live near a school. The "road safety " issue is cos of the selfish parking and thr fact no one is prepared to walk. Ihave to drive to my dds school but still.walk further further half the locals. If you look at the admission criteria schools in some villages etc many make it literally make it less than a mile out for admissions. There should hardly be any cars for that distance.

Plenty of parents have to drop the kids off and then dash off to work. A few extra minutes for walking a couple of miles can be impossible when time is squeezed in the morning.

It’s a red herring anyway, you can’t outrun a bad diet. Weight gain and loss is about excess or inadequate calories. The number of calories you’d burn on a two mile walk is 170ish. That’s a banana and an apple.

Not saying walking isn’t great for overall health but when we’re talking about weight problems it’s really not necessary to exercise to maintain or achieve a healthy weight.

@creepingthyme

It's weird that my mum was constantly on a diet when we were young and enforced that diet on all of us I still remember getting lettuce sandwiches in my packed lunch but couldn't wait to give the dgc chocolate and buy junk food for them and insist it was healthy

Have you ever asked her why that is? I find it really strange the idea on MN that grandparents are always dying to feed their grandkids junk. Is that a thing? If they know you have boundaries or plans for your child’s diet and purposefully go against them it’d be a really weird and inappropriate thing to do surely?

Cold I think it might be because chocolate=spoiling=love. Very weirdly I was thinking that when I have dgc I would like to give them chocolate and treats too .