To not understand why some parents make such poor food choices for their kids?

[Quit4me]

I was standing behind a mum with 2 children in a queue the other day. One child was a baby laying almost flat in a pram aged about 3 months. The other was around 6. The baby was really sweet smiling out of the pram which is what drew my attention to them. Then she grizzled and the mum said ‘whopps sorry I took away the milk buttons didn’t I. She was feeding her (the baby) milkybar buttons. Quite a lot of them.
I then noticed that that the mum was overweight, the nan who was also with them was overweight and most sadly the 6 year old was very overweight /obese.
Why would any mum be feeding their 3 month old chocolate? Obviously the whole family and little girl could have had a medical condition but Barring that why don’t parents see that feeding them sugar and too many processed foods early on is creating so many health problems for their children?
It makes me actually quite angry and sad for the children and I cringe seeing it.
Yes I know it’s none of my business directly, but this is everyone’s business because it’s a huge problem for the UK and is going to increase multi fold in the coming years.

@ColdBrightClearMorning

"Not saying walking isn’t great for overall health but when we’re talking about weight problems it’s really not necessary to exercise to maintain or achieve a healthy weight."

I would disagree with this.

Muscle burns calories, so increasing your muscle mass will help you lose weight.

[quote AnitaB888]@ColdBrightClearMorning

"Not saying walking isn’t great for overall health but when we’re talking about weight problems it’s really not necessary to exercise to maintain or achieve a healthy weight."

I would disagree with this.

Muscle burns calories, so increasing your muscle mass will help you lose weight.[/quote]
I don’t disagree if we’re talking about exercising to build muscle mass, sure someone with a lot of muscle has a higher amount of maintenance calories daily.

But I don’t think most people who exercise are building significant amounts of muscle.

Either way to lose weight you need to maintain a caloric deficit. You can do that without exercise. I think the focus on exercise for weight loss (rather than health) is harmful as people often don’t have the time or inclination to exercise so they think they won’t be able to lose weight so don’t bother trying. You can lose weight without exercising is all I’m saying!

@creepingthyme

Cold I think it might be because chocolate=spoiling=love. Very weirdly I was thinking that when I have dgc I would like to give them chocolate and treats too .

I understand the impulse, I often feel it with my own baby! I might be eating something he’s not able to have and have the urge to share it with him as I know it’ll give him pleasure. But as a grandparent you’re not the child’s parent. Parents are the ones to make decisions about what their kids can or can’t have, it’s not an issue if grandparents are doing it and the parents don’t mind but I find it really strange that there are cases where they try overrule or override the parent’s wishes to feed their grandkids junk. Such an overstep.

Everyone knows that chocolate is unhealthy and vegetables are healthy. It's really not difficult.

Indeed most people do know that, but food choices are a lot more complicated. Have none of you ever seen an overweight doctor? Or one who smoked, or drank heavily? Because believe me they do exist - and yet they know all the facts. Not everything in this life is black or white, there are many shades of grey, maybe some should remember that before they come on MN with their judgemental attitudes.

Plenty of parents have to drop the kids off and then dash off to work. A few extra minutes for walking a couple of miles can be impossible when time is squeezed in the morning

Not all of them.

Some stand around talking fir ages after

Honestly the way some people park well it takes longer to get out the space space ot would to walk back anyway.

There are several venues nearby dds school where you could park which are close enough that you could be gone by the time you have managed to Manoveor out the space and avoid all the late comers legging it across the road. I stead we have to have CSOs or the LA patrolling cos if the amount of people parking on the path amd over dropped kerbs.

Some leave their cars there all day , walk back on their own and drive back with the kids later

Some just openly confess to hating walking so they drive.

Besides without even worrying about the individual circumstances which we could all.list all day , the shift in attitude is the strange thing.

When I was a kid it didn't matter what the weather was. U walked. It had to literally be torrential rain befire the wet break sign went up.

Now we act as if the kids will.wash away. Honestly my dad wouldn't out of bed to take us to school in the snow and I had ti walk 3/4 miles if the bus didn't let us on.

Now, I'm.mean for making dd walk a couple of mins in the rain with a coat on.

Parents wouldn't let you snack.of you wouldn't your dinner and they couldn't afford to bin the food.

Now, kids eat all day.

We used to roam.for miles as a.kid. my dd1 when she was 10/10.5 was questioned by a shop owner at a shop 2 mins from.my house with one very quiet road to cross.

No wonder they don't get to go out or play outside at school. The amount of people who wanna report you or complain...

20 years ago if your kid missed the bus tough shit they walked. Even if it was several miles. No, anything over a 10 minute walk and it's child abuse

@MintyMabel same with mine, she was 13 weeks premature, and we were told to start weaning her when was was 6 months from her birth date, not from her due date - I remember she was just over 9lbs and still in newborn clothes, and we really did get some awful looks when we were out and about and had to feed her.

It always makes me very sad to see young children clearly overweight, at risk of health problems because of poor decisions outside their control. They are the ones that suffer.

If your from a low income family, 3 frozen pizzas for £5 that will fill the kids up, or a selection of fruit that's not as filling can amount to £5. Also in the UK we always have special offers and low cost deals on less than healthy food. But its heartbreaking to see overweight kids and there definitely needs to be more education rather than shaming going on.

I voted yanbu as obviously this is a poor choice of weaning food.

I feel sorry for the mum as well as the children, as obviously she doesn’t know any different from what you describe. More food education would seem a good idea! I think I had to do it for GCSE at school. Maybe it could be compulsory up to yr 11 even if they don’t have to do an exam?

For a lot of people of course lockdown hasn’t helped. I know I’ve gained a lot of weight!

Those saying op is bu,I wonder if you had seen the same thing,would you Have noticed?thought anything about it?judged?
Too many people say don't judge but then judge some posts and are very quick to pile in on the poster.
We are in a pandemic,,people rarely go out and so probably do take more notice of things,events,people around them and it gets them thinking then want to share their thoughts,concerns,not sure if being u,as in the poster's position and one about some children not having shoes.
Nobody is perfect.

whatwouldscullydo I don't know what 'kids these days' you know but my 3 walk or cycle everywhere. The 2 teens honeschool all day (they come down at lunch to make food - healthy stuff as they've been shown) and get back to online lessons. As soon as school is over they're out- on bikes now as weather is good , when it was snow for almost 3 weeks they were sledging/ snowboarding.

The eldest regularly cycled to his girlfriend's 10 miles away in the summer. All 3 play rugby.
I know lots of kids of all ages and very, very few are like those you describe. Stop demonising the young because their life is different to how yours was.

puff

We have some dickhead that yelled at my kids and others playing out

When my dd went to the shop she got 20 questions off the staff.

I have had several raised eyebrows at the distance my dd has to walk to school.

As I said the same parents who would see you walk three miles to school and wouldn't remotely entertain a box of wheetos for breakfast are now seemingly the ones who want to feed your 6 month old chocolate sweets and crisps.

I just find it all a bit strange.

I thought the message these days was to be supportive of other women? Regardless of their choices?

Who are you to be so rude and judgmental? Do you know this woman? Have you walked a day in her shoes?

You should be ashamed of yourself for being so bitchy! It's not up to you what anyone else feeds their kids, jog on!

I also used to have a neighbour who was talking to me about reporting another neighbour for the kid playing outside...

Its not up to anyone what anyone feeds their kids.

My son is 6. He is an amazing, kind and clever little boy. He loves strawberries. He wont touch vegetables. I have lost count the ammout of times I have made roast dinners or hidden vegetables in things and he has either eaten round them or left the whole meal beacuse of it. I have tried many tatics but he won't eat any of them. Does that make me a bad parent also as be wont eat vegetables as they are a main part of a balanced healthy diet?

My point is parents do try to give a balanced diet but sometimes an unhealthy alternative might be cheaper and more convenient..

I don't agree with your statement about this is causing many health problems. People need to stop judging other people and concentrate on their own lives.

Whatwouldscullydo It's interesting that you've come across these people, I've never known anyone to moan about kids out and most kids I know are very active.

MN is a strange place with organic everything but condoning sugar to a baby. Here I think the 'fat issue has got in the way.

It is a problem we do all need to be aware of when you're fighting daily with your child to eat healthily because all of their school friends and anyone whose home you go to are just snacking on crisps chocolate and biscuits and offering it to them and because of herd mentality your child doesn't trust your judgement of a carrot being the best option any more. This actually affects my mental health and I would appreciate it if we did start standing up for children's health more and educating eveeyone because it does affect all children. Can't even walk past the shop now without my DD screaming for crisps and I've never given her crisps but that's what surrounds her and it's not like I can just isolate her from kids who grow up on junk food because that would be a huge majority in my area. But how can you teach a small toddler who is wired to follow the herd that everyone espe is wrong and what you are feeding her is right? Why should we suffer with daily battles because other people don't want to face up to their choices?

My daughter's packed lunch comes back untouched from nursery these days because she sees the other kids eating junk and wants to be the same.

There have been a few threads on MN before about whether or not to report kids playing out. Are they too young. How far is too far to walk etc.

Families behind the questions in particular..grandparents seem to be these strange creatures where they move from having raised children on no snacks and walking everywhere to plying your kids with crap, and calling you mean when you ask them to stop whilst simultaneously telling you how much they no longer eat having had half a slice if toast at breakfast. What is it about becoming a grandparent...

The childminder/grandparent threads are bizarre " they are doing you a favour if you don't want want to feed your kids sweets and ice cream.all day long pay for it." Then when someone posts their child minder feeds the kids crap they are told they are precious.

@FoxyTheFox none of those things are signs of privelege. I went to school in one of the most deprived area of the UK and grew up in poverty and yet I still have the common sense to know a salad is healthier than a beef burger. I've also lived in one of the poorest neighbourhoods of Miami and most of the unemployed there can access the internet and make healthy food choices for themselves. It's about whether you want to or not.

Whether you agree or not, they are signs of privilege.

@Seriously79

I thought the message these days was to be supportive of other women? Regardless of their choices?

Who are you to be so rude and judgmental? Do you know this woman? Have you walked a day in her shoes?

You should be ashamed of yourself for being so bitchy! It's not up to you what anyone else feeds their kids, jog on!

Would you still say that if the OP had seen the woman smacking her child instead? You don’t have to support people in making bad choices, you need to help them make better choices

How the hell did we collectively arrive at a point where feelings outweigh facts, each time and all the time, and where people get viscously labelled for commenting on objective reality?

Fat people are fat. The UK has become the fattest nation in Europe. It is far from unusual to see three generations of obese people together.

Being fat does not make one a bad person. Being fat as a nation is a huge problem and each fat individual contributes to that problem. These are facts yet they are becoming unsayable, just like saying a woman is an adult human female is becoming unsayable.

The politics of individualism - started by Thatcher - have been taken to the extremes of madness. There is no possible justification for giving a baby chocolate unless the baby is starving, which the baby in the OP was not.

The UK has become the fattest nation in Europe.

That's not correct, Turkey and Malta both have higher obesity rates than the UK and Hungary I think overtook the UK not too long ago. Globally the UK has the 33rd highest obesity rate.