Caught him talking to another girl and it's me.

[Catsandkittens638297]

Mt husband has a past of talking to other girls that I caught him on tinder last year. I forgave him and we ironed it all out.
I know he's on whisper and I managed to find his account and talk to him. It's anoynmous so he doesn't know it's me.
He's started getting sexual on the chat. I'm currently 28 weeks pregnant with our third child. If I tell him it was me itl get turned round on me for been crazy (literally out of character for me is this o thought he'd click on) but I can't not say anything? Pls don't be rude

if you were together from 13, what he is really saying is he's suddenly realised that he didn't get to do the shagging around and casual fun that many people do in their teens / 20s. This is not your fault (and of course neither did you) but sadly, there seems to be an option for men to up and do this, whereas women a) tend not to and b) would be judged far more harshly than he will be. What kind of father is he? If you told him he would of course be doing 50/50 so you can work, what would he say? Or is he more likely to grimble about doing 4 days a month and paying the CMS minimum? Either way, practical stuff is what comes next. And no, it is not a "relief" at this point. It will be, when the ducks are in a row and you have some idea of what the future looks like but its ok to feel terrified and lonely and caught out. Be prepared for him to become a total stranger and above all remember he is no longer on your side - he will not "do the right thing", they rarely do. My ex left for ow, and almost immediately started blaming me, been miserabale for ages etc. Our mutual friends asked me if he had actually wanted our kids seeing as he was so happy to walk away from them. Get whatever RL support you can - it really helps.

I appreciate you are pregnant but blown away by the fact you know he's back at it but instead of booting his cheating arse out, you're playing silly games

I’m so sorry you’re having a horrible time, OP. You ask people to be kind and yet some responses are cruel in my opinion. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with that as well.
I hope you have good support from family and friends. Look after yourself. 💕

Definitely get rid of this horrible man. You deserve someone much better than this. I would get rid of him before your baby arrives. You could even consider telling him that it's not his so that you never have to see him again. X

Please @Catsandkittens638297

Break up with him. You will qualify for financial support and housing since you have 2 children and a further on the way. Get yourself in a good place emotionally. Concentrate on yourself and your children.
He is disrespectul, abusive and from what others say based on another thread I haven't seen lazy.

Just you and the children - will be hard work but you won't have to second guess a cheat all the time. Move on please.

Take care of yourself.

www.gingerbread.org.uk/

www.careforthefamily.org.uk/family-life/parent-support/parent-support-organisations

www.entitledto.co.uk/

Here are some links that may help OP - the last will help you to estimate how much you can get in benefits. The others are advice for single parents. There will also be lots of local support from local agencies/ family support workers etc. Once you stop to tap into it you realise that there is a lot of help and support, even if you don't have family to help out, like many of us don't.

@Catsandkittens638297

He ended up sending an indecent picture, in which I replied a picture of my self telling him to go f#ck himself. He just laughed about it. And was like "Asif you baited me hahah". He said his options are to kill himself or leave me and he's sick of been an adult basically Long story short think we've broke up.

Why didn’t you blackmail him? Pretend to be a teenager or something.

Then when he came to you to tell you that some girl on whisper is blackmailing, you could have gone mental but calmed down and said “yeah, let’s give her what she wants”.

Tell him to transfer the money to your account and you will transfer it to the girl, so it looks less suspicious.

Job done.

Ooh you could play a wonderful game and screw his mind without revealing its you!

Why didn’t you blackmail him? Pretend to be a teenager or something I like your style @Doomsdayiscoming!

@notanothertakeaway

Some unhelpful, judge posts on here. Woukd you say that to OP's face?

OP, you deserve better. This is hard for you, but in the long run, better for you and your children. He has shown you who he is. Believe him

Yes, I would say these things to my friends face to face, I'm quite surprised you wouldn't, or are you one of those who fake being nice to soothe people so they like you?

Being upfront and blunt in situations like this is the only way it will sink in sometimes

Here you have a woman who is raising three children in a toxic, dysfunctional relationship. They are the priority here, not the feelings of a woman who is too busy playing stupid games on dating sites with her equally dysfunctional partner. If that's too "judgey" then tough

My goodness.........More DC seem to encourage some men to stray. Sadly no surprise at all to hear he is being faithless while you are pregnant.

Not sure why pregnancy is such a 'Trigger' for their faithless behaviour, but it seems to be all too common.

If I was you, OP, I's ask him if he is in a relationship??

then ask about kids...then do a reveal.

And ask for a divorce.

Run

@Catsandkittens638297
Just read all your comments..

My DH left and I got £25 a week off him. He was self employed and so say ''Earned nothing''. {I knew different, but it couldn't be proven}

It was desperately hard paying a mortgage and bills on one income with a young child.

Good luck...At least you are free of the sleazy twat.

What’s with the pina colada and rain comments?

OP please use this opportunity before your baby comes to start again. I know it will be easier in the short term to stay with him, but it will be better in the long run. You will cope financially, there is help available, you just need to be brave and properly end it.
This will keep happening again if you keep forgiving him. You have no idea how many other women he's contacting on Whisper, or how many other platforms he's using to send sexual messages. You don't know if he's actually been meeting up for sex.
You and your children deserve better than this.

Why didn’t you blackmail him? Pretend to be a teenager or something. Then when he came to you to tell you that some girl on whisper is blackmailing, you could have gone mental but calmed down and said “yeah, let’s give her what she wants”. Tell him to transfer the money to your account and you will transfer it to the girl, so it looks less suspicious

Because that isn't at all a criminal offence that OP would very likely end up in court for, possible jail time and a criminal record affecting her future job prospects.

The Pina colada thing people are mentioning...
I googled...and here are the lyrics.
It makes sense now.

''I was tired of my lady
We'd been together too long
Like a worn out recording
Of a favorite song
So while she lay there sleepin'
I read the paper in bed
And in the personal columns
There was this letter I read
If you like piña coladas
And gettin' caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga
If you have half a brain
If you like makin' love at midnight
In the dunes on the cape
Then I'm the love that you've looked for
Write to me and escape
I didn't think about my lady
I know that sounds kinda mean
But me and my old lady
Had fallen into the same old dull routine
So I wrote to the paper
Took out a personal ad
And though I'm nobody's poet
I thought it wasn't half bad
Yes, I like piña coladas
And gettin' caught in the rain
I'm not much into health food
I am into champagne
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon
And cut through all this red tape
At a bar called O'Malley's
Where we'll plan our escape
So I waited with high hopes
And she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant
I knew the curve of her face
It was my own lovely lady
And she said, "Oh, it's you"
Then we laughed for a moment
And I said, "I never knew"
"That you like piña coladas
And gettin' caught in the rain
And the feel of the ocean
And the taste of champagne
If you like making love at midnight
In the dunes on the cape
You're the lady I've looked for
Come with me and escape"
If you like piña coladas
And gettin' caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga
If you have half a brain
If you like making love at midnight
In the dunes on the cape
I'm the love that you've looked for
Write to me and escape
Yes, I like piña coladas
And gettin' caught in the rain
I'm not much into health food
I am into champagne
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon
And cut through all this red tape
At a bar called O'Malley's''

Song here:

He'll never change, he could give you an STI while pregnant.

@KrispykYes, I would say these things to my friends face to face, I'm quite surprised you wouldn't, or are you one of those who fake being nice to soothe people so they like you? Being upfront and blunt in situations like this is the only way it will sink in sometimes. Here you have a woman who is raising three children in a toxic, dysfunctional relationship. They are the priority here, not the feelings of a woman who is too busy playing stupid games on dating sites with her equally dysfunctional partner. If that's too "judgey" then tough

Well firstly OP is not playing games, she was finding out if her husband was cheating and then told him she knew. Pretty bog standard for women who suspect their husbands are cheating.

Secondly, it is your who clearly don't give one crap about the children here. The people on this thread who care about the children are the ones offering practical advice and emotional support to OP. You are a nasty self-aggrandising idiot with no apparent worth at all. Sorry if that is harsh, but I'm not one of those people who fake being nice to soothe. I am sure you understand and approve.

LOL

Oh the sadness of this. To start with you’re a WOMAN! You’ve no choice but to leave him, he’ll erode whatever is left of you away. Good luck to you, it’s all about you and your children now.

@HyggeTygge

Did you use a pseudonym to fool him?

Just she like was before tears.

@oakleaffy

The Pina colada thing people are mentioning... I googled...and here are the lyrics. It makes sense now.

''I was tired of my lady
We'd been together too long
Like a worn out recording
Of a favorite song
So while she lay there sleepin'
I read the paper in bed
And in the personal columns
There was this letter I read
If you like piña coladas
And gettin' caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga
If you have half a brain
If you like makin' love at midnight
In the dunes on the cape
Then I'm the love that you've looked for
Write to me and escape
I didn't think about my lady
I know that sounds kinda mean
But me and my old lady
Had fallen into the same old dull routine
So I wrote to the paper
Took out a personal ad
And though I'm nobody's poet
I thought it wasn't half bad
Yes, I like piña coladas
And gettin' caught in the rain
I'm not much into health food
I am into champagne
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon
And cut through all this red tape
At a bar called O'Malley's
Where we'll plan our escape
So I waited with high hopes
And she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant
I knew the curve of her face
It was my own lovely lady
And she said, "Oh, it's you"
Then we laughed for a moment
And I said, "I never knew"
"That you like piña coladas
And gettin' caught in the rain
And the feel of the ocean
And the taste of champagne
If you like making love at midnight
In the dunes on the cape
You're the lady I've looked for
Come with me and escape"
If you like piña coladas
And gettin' caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga
If you have half a brain
If you like making love at midnight
In the dunes on the cape
I'm the love that you've looked for
Write to me and escape
Yes, I like piña coladas
And gettin' caught in the rain
I'm not much into health food
I am into champagne
I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon
And cut through all this red tape
At a bar called O'Malley's''

Thank you, makes sense now 🙂

Wow 😮 🤩

Confusing thread 😆