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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you attend a wedding in July?

321 replies

Workyticket · 23/02/2021 09:11

Yanbu: yes, I would
Yabu: not a chance

We're on our 3rd wedding date. Mid July - supposedly social distancing will be a thing of the past -doubt it like-

Trying to decide what to plan for. We're booked for a farm in Northumberland. Outdoor wedding under an open barn

Potentially eat outside but massive marquee booked in case the weather is shit

80 day time and 140 evening original guests

It's very laid back - nowt sorted really despite it being our 3rd date and nothing that can't be sorted or cancelled in the last couple of weeks if necessary

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Original poster
Workyticket · 23/02/2021 13:05

Most of these are the thoughts that have been flying round my brain all night

I fly between it's irresponsible and go for it, everyone will be desperate for a party

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Lyricallie · 23/02/2021 13:10

I'm a bride who has rescheduled for this July too (although in Scotland and I doubt we will have however many numbers we want). Originally planned for 110 in a church then a venue afterwards.
I'm planning/hoping/praying for 50. I think it's more realistic. Also I feel like people who will need to travel to where the wedding is are less likely to attend. Also the older people. However I'm supposed to be having a ceilidh and large proportion of our guests are late 20s early 30s. So who knows.

I think your best bet is to think about the demographic of your guests. Or do what I did and get your family to put out feelers just in general conversation that way they're not saying to you directly but you can get a rough idea of potential numbers.

Herja · 23/02/2021 13:17

No. I dislike weddings intently (I even avoided having one myself when I married) and the last year has solidified my decision to never do social things I hate again.

I would assume that far more people will be keen to get back to celebrations and normality though! How cautious have the people your know been around covid currently? I would work out who I wanted there most and then tailor it to be something they would happily attend.

Original poster
Workyticket · 23/02/2021 22:11

Thanks all - I've done a group message with most of our guests today and most still want to come.

We'll see - I'm not hell bent on going full pelt. Anyone got a crystal ball? ;)

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toodleloooo · 23/02/2021 22:19

Great to hear such a positive response from your guests, OP. Really hope it works out Flowers. We were due to get married last June and moved to this June I was also dubious about how comfortable people would be but I think we just have to be flexible and call it a bit closer to the time.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 23/02/2021 22:30

No, nothing that big until everyone is vaccinated. With alcohol and food, there will be a lack of masks likely and add in alcohol and many will forget SD.

Moomin12345 · 23/02/2021 22:54

Depends. Yes but only if the hosts intend to serve proper food to all guests and not charge them an entry fee (I've attended too many grabby and stingy weddings to care for them).

Pastcaringnow · 23/02/2021 23:20

According to the announcement yesterday, weddings with unlimited numbers will be allowed from 21st June do why not?
I also think I know where you're planning so chuck an invite this way 🤣

Original poster
Workyticket · 23/02/2021 23:53

@Moomin12345

Depends. Yes but only if the hosts intend to serve proper food to all guests and not charge them an entry fee (I've attended too many grabby and stingy weddings to care for them).
What?! Huge amounts of food planned (although the Northumbrian sharing platters we'd planned might be off limits now!!)

Plus free beer (brewery wedding) a cake table and 6kg of cheese Grin

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BackforGood · 24/02/2021 00:07

I think your numbers are really optimistic for July.

I LOVE a wedding.
I am REALLY missing parties and dancing and seeing family and friends,
I feel INCREDIBLY sorry for anyone who has had to postpone their wedding / seriously alter their plans.

BUT, if it were me I would be planning for the ceremony and a small Reception for 20 - 30 people and then hope to have a great big party perhaps on the first wedding anniversary.

I really don't think it is sensible for 140 people to be gathering and partying for hours on end in July, when it is so soon after some people will just be starting to return to doing normal things they do not in a crowd. I know you say the barn is open sided, but people will move towards being in the marquee as the night draws in, even if the weather is okay earlier.

Sorry, I know that's not what you want to hear, but, if it were me, I'd rather plan something small and potentially be able to open it up nearer the time, than plan something big and then feel I was constantly compromising and having to cut people out.
If everyone feels it is safe for bigger numbers at the time, they can still come to your ceremony at short notice.

Flittingaboutagain · 24/02/2021 08:09

Reading the updates too I would decline as there would be too many people all in one place attending for my liking and I just wouldn't feel safe.

RampantIvy · 24/02/2021 08:15

I reemember your thread from before, and you sound like a lovely bride to be who is actually taking her potential guests into consideration. I hope your wedding goes ahead, and you have a lovely day.

JohnMiddleNameRedactedSwanson · 24/02/2021 08:19

I would, but I think 80 is more realistic than 140. I’m guessing you can’t rescind any of the invitations?

AlwaysLatte · 24/02/2021 08:19

We have one to attend and hotel booked after it was cancelled last July. Fingers crossed!!

DanielRicciardosSmile · 24/02/2021 08:19

*What?! Huge amounts of food planned (although the Northumbrian sharing platters we'd planned might be off limits now!!)

Plus free beer (brewery wedding) a cake table and 6kg of cheese*

With that last update I'd definitely be going. Just park me next to the cheese.

GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom · 24/02/2021 08:20

Not if I wasn't fully vaccinated, and according to the date calculator, I won't be.

LongTimeMammaBear · 24/02/2021 08:21

I’d go for the day time if it’s outside and spread out, 80 people would be ok. Particularly if there is staff sanitising the loo periodically throughout the day with the door left open between guests.

No way though I’d be attending a 140 people wedding (evening or day) as I don’t think you can keep distance with that many people.

JohnMiddleNameRedactedSwanson · 24/02/2021 08:25

it were me, I'd rather plan something small and potentially be able to open it up nearer the time, than plan something big and then feel I was constantly compromising and having to cut people out.

This is v v sensible and I agree.

Cheesypea · 24/02/2021 09:01

Sounds like a great wedding. Because of my personal circumstances I'd go. I'd also go to make up the numbers as I think alot of people wont go. I'm not so optimistic about boris's road map tbh. If it was me I'd have a small wedding and have a big anniversary party at a later date in order to have the best chance of having as many people there as possible. You sound easy going, so I'm sure you'll have a lovely time and so will your guests, congratulations.

SendMeHome · 24/02/2021 09:05

Not with that many people. I would for 30 or so people, it’s easier to social distance with lower numbers and it just feels less risky.

Original poster
Workyticket · 24/02/2021 19:06

@RampantIvy

I reemember your thread from before, and you sound like a lovely bride to be who is actually taking her potential guests into consideration. I hope your wedding goes ahead, and you have a lovely day.
Thank you!
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Original poster
Workyticket · 24/02/2021 19:19

thanks for the insights everyone

I think our main problem is the people we should invite (siblings etc) aren't necessarily the people we'd naturally spend time with.

I love my brothers, aunts and their families but we're very different. They like a formal wedding with classical music and canapes they can moan about the price of drinks at

There's a cosy tea room as part of the venue which I know they'll be happy in though

whereas our friends and some cousins would love the Beatles / Kings of Leon rubbish we plan to listen to whilst slugging nettle beer round a fire pit with marshmallows and cheese in the evening

I'm not adverse to intimate but the vibe would be very different

Space wise there's a huge open barn, a 3 room tea-room and a marquee so hopefully enough room for people to distance if they wish to

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Honeyroar · 24/02/2021 19:22

They’ve just announced that the Leeds festival is going to run in August, so sounds like there shouldn’t be any limits for weddings! Hope this injection is as good as they think.

Echobelly · 24/02/2021 19:22

We have daughter's (postponed) bat mitzvah last weekend of June, ie, 5 days after the alleged 'all clear' date. I don't believe it will be all clear for a moment, but I am hoping that the '30 people outside' thing currently mooted for mid May will be allowed as then we could have all the close family over in one of our parents' gardens' - ours isn't big enough. Even if we could organise more people in time, or wait a few weeks for a bigger party, i honestly wouldn't do it anyway. At that stage just the family in the garden would be amazing!

Original poster
Workyticket · 24/02/2021 19:25

@Echobelly

We have daughter's (postponed) bat mitzvah last weekend of June, ie, 5 days after the alleged 'all clear' date. I don't believe it will be all clear for a moment, but I am hoping that the '30 people outside' thing currently mooted for mid May will be allowed as then we could have all the close family over in one of our parents' gardens' - ours isn't big enough. Even if we could organise more people in time, or wait a few weeks for a bigger party, i honestly wouldn't do it anyway. At that stage just the family in the garden would be amazing!
Can i send DP? Whenever I moan at his ancient suit one he says "it's timeless. It dies wedsings, funerals, christenings, bah mitzfas and interviews"

He's never been to a bah mitzvah and isn't ever likely to so may well be buried in his bloody suit 😁

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