My children in the garden.

[C231009]

Hi all, ds and Dd are aged 10 and 5. Both on the spectrum.

I absolutely dread the better weather. It’s a little sunny where I live today so they’ve managed to get into the garden but they are so loud. They don’t seem to have a volume setting just loud 🤣 they end up arguing and shouting at each other too they I end up calling them in. Then they try and talk to all the neighbours - I do discourage this as most neighbours probably don’t want to be bothered.

Instead of using the garden we tend to go out instead but difficult at the minute.

We live on a residential street where lots of households have children but mine seem the loudest.

If you were our neighbour would you get peed off with 2 loud autistic children? Shall I let them play out more? I’m not saying I’m going to let them out for hours on end or at unsociable times but maybe an hour or so a day in the afternoon.

But I just get paranoid that the neighbours will hate us and we will be disturbing them!

My neighbours small DC's were out playing in their garden yesterday, it was lovely to hear them laughing and having fun

No way! As long as it's within reasonable hours, your children should be able to use their own garden

I wouldn't hear your kid over my own! But I'd happily have a chat with them, i think its nice to hear kids playing, personally before 8.30 am might be a bit much but after that..meh...let them play!

No. Its their home and garden. Is the sound if children playing that offensive to some people?

I think , unless I were to live in a house in the middle of nowhere, I would expect to share noise with neighbours. In fact we have a young man with SEN living behind us, and we have seen him at all stages as he grew up. I am sure it sounded louder to his mum than it was.
That said, he & his family got to deal with my dogs barking at their cat so it was a two-way street.
An hour or so a day is very reasonable and it’s good of you to think of your neighbours, but try not to let the worry spoil your enjoyment of those times.

Kids need to be out in the garden but arguing and shouting doesnt sound very relaxing, is there much in the garden for them to do, do they like to get involved in little projects.

Personally, the time of day is more important than the volume. I live in a similar street and had a similar chat with my neighbour. If their kids are out, it will usually be 9:30-5 tops which is absolutely fine. They do shout and squeal (no swearing though) but it doesn't bother me.

It wouldn't bother me as long as it's during daytime hours. They have a right to enjoy their own garden.

That said I have social

Anxiety and probably wouldn't be able to chat back to them!

OP "They don’t seem to have a volume setting just loud"

Have you actually looked for one? Some people told us it was immoral to raise my goddaughter to be quiet. (No, I am not joking, us mean GD parents).

I'd trade children playing to the guy who exercises in our area every day grunting in a very scary and loud way. (He sounds like someone being tortured. (And is also lifing Minnie Mouse weight with bad form.)

As long as it is limited to daytime (and not solidly from dawn to dusk) I wouldn't worry.

If they are having a relentlessly loud day maybe take them out for an hour or so to exercise them and give the neighbours a break.

I'll be honest, arguing and shouting and trying to talk to me if I was pottering about next door in my own garden would massively piss me off.

However, an hour or so a day is fine.

Please don't worry about noise from your children I also think mine are super loud but a few kids were out today on my row including a neighbours son who kicked a ball at a fence for 3 hours no complaints here because they've been stuck inside for weeks! Anything that's entertainment to them let them enjoy and anyone who complains about noise of children is just forgetting the fact they were once a child.
Enjoy your days in the garden. Xx

Listening to arguing and shouting wouldn’t be fun as a neighbour but I’d be a lot more patient if I knew they had disabilities that meant they couldn’t regulate their volume etc the same. Do your neighbours know?

It would get on my tits, I'm afraid, but I'm a grumpy old cow.

I think children making noise in the garden during daylight hours is considered pretty par for the course OP.
Neighbours are fascinating things when you’re a child.

Depends what you mean by loud. There's a child near me who just seems to scream constantly it's so annoying. Children playing or even arguing loudly doesn't bother me.

It's fine and surely people will understand if they have young children. Our neighbours let their children out until 10 at night in the summer.
I think it's a bit late but we have a baby so I'm sure they hear him crying. Just part of neighbourhood noise.
An hour a day is very restrained.
When my daughter was about 3 she used to chat to the man next door while he was working and he referred to her as "the one who talks" for years. I don't think he minded though.

I have two autistic children also - not the loudest but loud. The older also talks to the neighbours.

I told them that he’s autistic, will probably engage them in conversation but they should tell him they’re busy if they don’t want to talk and explained the same to my son (appreciate not all autistic children will understand that).

Both the neighbours tell me is how sweet they are, how nice to hear them it is and say they love talking to him.

Don’t stress, try to limit actual shrieking but otherwise let them play.

I wouldn't mind a bit. My neighbour said it was nice to hear a bit of life from our garden. I think I believed them!

9am - 7pm I think it's fair game, let the dc out to play. As long as they are not sequealling or screeching excessively, some loud playing is to be expected! Let them be children, children make noise.

Of course they should use their own garden during the day! I like the sound of children playing as long as they're playing happily and not crying or screaming and being ignored - a family two doors down used to ignore their child crying for hours (it was enforced nap time sleep training into toddlerhood with the window open and he just cried for two hours every day - I honestly wanted to go and get him, he probably just didn't need a bloody nap any more poor child) but that's the only child noise that's ever bothered me.

If they always argue I guess you need to go out with them, or let them out seperately, or threaten to bring one (alternate which one if it's both of them equally) in if they argue loudly, depending on their individual needs and dynamic together...

The noise wouldn’t really bother me (have 3 of my own that bicker all day so I’m quite used to it).

I wouldn’t appreciate them trying to talk to me over the fence though. How high is it? Maybe add something to the top so they can’t see over when the neighbours are outside.

Honestly yes, I’d hate it but that’s why I live in the middle of nowhere.