My children in the garden.

[C231009]

Hi all, ds and Dd are aged 10 and 5. Both on the spectrum.

I absolutely dread the better weather. It’s a little sunny where I live today so they’ve managed to get into the garden but they are so loud. They don’t seem to have a volume setting just loud 🤣 they end up arguing and shouting at each other too they I end up calling them in. Then they try and talk to all the neighbours - I do discourage this as most neighbours probably don’t want to be bothered.

Instead of using the garden we tend to go out instead but difficult at the minute.

We live on a residential street where lots of households have children but mine seem the loudest.

If you were our neighbour would you get peed off with 2 loud autistic children? Shall I let them play out more? I’m not saying I’m going to let them out for hours on end or at unsociable times but maybe an hour or so a day in the afternoon.

But I just get paranoid that the neighbours will hate us and we will be disturbing them!

YANBU, an hour a day in normal hours is nothing. Since we haven't been allowed to mix with others mine call over the fence to the neighbours children to catch up, am sure it annoys some people but I have seen others smiling at them chattering away. (Gardens in a long narrow row with low fences so you can see down the row of gardens)

I love the sound of kids playing in the gardens over Spring/Summer.

I love the sound of their laughter, the trampolines bouncing, the swings creaking etc.

Then again, I'm the sort of weirdo who also likes the smell of BBQs and the sound of lawnmowers

The only thing I can't stand is constant screaming. I mean kids scream when they're playing and that's fine but constant screamers are like nails down a chalkboard to me.

Oh, I forgot the sound of paddling pools splashing.

I love that too

I have sen children either side of my house. Very, very loud. Doesn't bother me at all.

Can I swop your children for my neighbours? As soon as the weather improves they will be outside playing loud music, effing and blinding while having massive rows on subjects as diverse as Yorkshire Puddings and football and smoking dope. (Actually that continues throughout the year.) They are in their 50s!

I'm autistic and have issues with sound so it would probably bother me quite a bit. But I understand that's my issue and between like 9.30 and 6 would be accepting of it. But then i need to unwind for a few hours before I can sleep so would be getting stressed out if it carried on after then. I'd appreciate a break while they went to the park for a bit.

My dd had me on the trampoline yesterday. The neighbour 3 doors down whom I have never even said hi to was laughing at me my neighbour doesn't like it as I see in her garden but I don't care lol

I think living in a standard residential area there needs to be give and take from everyone.

So yes it’s fine for kids to use their gardens but parents need to remember that not everyone wants to hear their kids all day every day, especially when people are working from home.

You see it a lot on here that there are parents who think that their kids needs should be prioritised over everyone else’s on the street.

So OP your kids should absolutely use their garden as long as you are aware of and consider your neighbours too

@C231009

Thanks all. They just talk very loud and often raise their voices. They end up bickering but it isn’t full blown screaming at each other.

I don’t mind children playing in the garden at all around here. But I feel mine are louder than most!

My neighbour on one side is out most of the day so not bothering him unless it’s the weekend but I think he works most days anyway. The other side have kids that seem so angelic compared to mine. They are aware and seem quite nice.

There’s a couple with no children behind me. I worry we pee them off! Never had chance to speak to them. They moved in during lockdown 1 and never crossed paths!

Someone has got to be the loudest

Nothing your describing sounds unreasonable to me. Shouting, screaming, arguing all sounds like kids at play.

You sound like a very considerate neighbour but you should let the kids enjoy their own garden. It isn't their fault more people are wfh, I am sure they have had a difficult year like the rest of us! Roll on the better weather!

*you're

Children playing noise during the day wouldn't bother me. Loud music does ...

I like the sound of kids , signs of life etc . Brother would not buy a house near a young family so he didn’t . Your neighbours will let you know if there’s a problem, and you can even check with them if you want, though I don’t think that’s necessary.

I personally wouldn’t mind but if you are at home a lot could you get into a routine of going out of the house in the mornings to drain their energy a bit and go in the garden in the afternoon.
That way if someone is sensitive to noise they can choose to go out in the morning whilst it’s quiet and then go inside when they’re in the garden.

I live in a flat with 2 small children. Both of my neighbours also have small children. Every time we see each other we apologise for the noise from our kids but all of us say the same thing - we don't hear each other's children over the noise from our own! I would love a garden to turf my children out into! Make the most of it!

If you are worried about the noise, could you channel your DC's energy into some garden projects like digging a vegetable patch or building/painting a bird table/bird feeder/bug hotel etc?

It wouldn't bother me personally. Let them be kids x

I think you are possibly a bit over sensitive to their bickering. Lockdown will do that to all of us. What you're suggesting sounds perfectly reasonable.

Worth having a look on line for stem garden toys/ ideas for small gardens ?

A homemade marble run on a fence. With the right attachments it can be recreated in different ways by a child. Or just cardboard in a sheltered spot.plastic bottles and twine if the fence is suitable or has a bit of trellis

A large pub chalkboard on the fence. Cheap as chips and weatherproof. My 5 yo loved it if you drew around her and then she could fill in the middle in different ways.

Sandpits, shallow water feature if it's something they love. Bird table. Bit of digging and planting.

They might be on the spectrum but I can assure you all siblings are bickering like mad right now. Something new to do might help?

I'll be honest, arguing and shouting and trying to talk to me if I was pottering about next door in my own garden would massively piss me off

Agree.
All children have the right to enjoy playing in their garden, but other neighbours have the right to peace, quiet and privacy in theirs too.

An hour a day of shouting and arguing would be tolerable if it was explained to the neighbours that children have difficulties in being quieter or playing well. Then the neighbours can avoid being outside at that time.

Shouting, screaming, arguing all sounds like kids at play.

it really doesn't!

It's unpleasant for everyone, other children included. The sound of children playing is fine within reasons. Constant screaming is a nightmare.

So are neighbours with parties through the night, loud music, drunk conversations when you are trying to sleep, neighbours gardening at dawn and waking up everybody else, dogs barking,..

If the OP talks with her neighbours, they'll likely be more understanding.
Other people's noise is not pleasant, and children can very easily learn not to scream and shout outside. If the OP explains, it will help.

The normal sounds of children playing outside are fine, if people choose to live in close proximity to neighbours then there's a good chance you'll live near some kids laughing, some shouting etc.

Constant arguing and shrieking would be very annoying though.

Talking to me over the fence would be really irritating too.

c23 great timing for this thread I was only saying to my DD17 earlier about when lockdown eases and what we've missed and I said I've really missed hearing young children out playing,we live near a school and I've missed the sqealing and shouting and the cheering when one of them scores a goal in p.e. and hearing our ndn's DC out playing.

We have 5DC and 2 of our DC are autistic so I completely get what you mean about noise control and honestly if we were your neighbours we wouldn't bat an eyelid and after the past year and everything everyone's been through we'd be more than happy(me and my DH)to stand and chat with your DC.

I'm hoping once life gets more back to normal that everyone will remember what so many have lost and what we've all been through and that people will be just that bit kinder and more understanding of one another.

Used to have neighbours who just let their kids run riot. Earplugs work so far but when you're on nightshift constant high pitched screaming cuts though earplugs no problem

It depends. Laughing and playing no. Crying,Whinging and arguing yes. Sorry!

I lived next door to a child who would run, bounce on a mini squeaky trampoline and would be constantly repeating sentences for 2 hours plus. Drove me insane, couldn’t sit in my living room. I moved.

@freckles20

I think that even if I found it annoying I would need to accept that it's tough luck and that I just needed to deal with it.

OP please prioritise your children's well-being over your neighbours.

Really?