My children in the garden.

[C231009]

Hi all, ds and Dd are aged 10 and 5. Both on the spectrum.

I absolutely dread the better weather. It’s a little sunny where I live today so they’ve managed to get into the garden but they are so loud. They don’t seem to have a volume setting just loud 🤣 they end up arguing and shouting at each other too they I end up calling them in. Then they try and talk to all the neighbours - I do discourage this as most neighbours probably don’t want to be bothered.

Instead of using the garden we tend to go out instead but difficult at the minute.

We live on a residential street where lots of households have children but mine seem the loudest.

If you were our neighbour would you get peed off with 2 loud autistic children? Shall I let them play out more? I’m not saying I’m going to let them out for hours on end or at unsociable times but maybe an hour or so a day in the afternoon.

But I just get paranoid that the neighbours will hate us and we will be disturbing them!

My dd had me on the trampoline yesterday. The neighbour 3 doors down whom I have never even said hi to was laughing at me confused my neighbour doesn't like it as I see in her garden but I don't care lol

Sorry but I would have laughed too (and been a bit shocked) to see an adult bouncing on a kids trampoline 😂

Isn’t it an unwritten rule you don’t look into each other’s gardens?

Lots of people get annoyed at trampolines as the kids stare into their houses and gardens and the springs creak. I think you need a high trellis or a ground level trampoline or something so she can’t see over the fence where the trampoline is.

I’ve had to teach my 6 year old she mustn’t peer through the gap in the fence to watch the neighbours doing their morning workout. She understands the concept of privacy now, and how a garden is like an extension of the home. I’ve also told her not to shout hello to them over the fence unless they say hello first. Sometimes she’ll say ‘look it’s Julia’ (name changed) and poor Julia then feels obliged to have a conversation while she’s weeding.

The other day was funny, neighbour came into his garden when DD was playing and she piped up ‘Mummy, John’s going to turn on his wood chipper machine, can I play my noisy wolf game now?’ I could hear him chuckling the other side of the fence.

We have a sort of unspoken agreement; DD is only allowed to be noisy when neighbour is using his power tools! 😂
Luckily he does a lot of woodwork and leaf blowing so she gets time to be noisy.

I wouldn’t let her repeatedly bang anything though, there are some loud noises that just seem antisocial. Also I’m always in the garden with her so I don’t want to listen to that either!

I have 2 dc and they arent always quiet in the garden, but they aren't particularly loud. If they argue they get told to stop or come in. Next doors dc scream.. ALOT. And though I'd never say anything it does annoy me their parents never tell them to stfu

You are obviously a caring mum and neighbour. I think you could talk to immediate neighbours and explain why your children's volume control is not working; definitely put trellis and plants along neighbouring fences so they can enjoy their gardens without being chatted to (this will help absorb the noise as well) and make sure that for a chunk of each day they play indoors or go to the park. It's all about give and take with neighbours and I'm sure you'll get the balance right. As someone said upthread - any neighbour with autism would struggle with constant loud noise from next door, playing is fine but a lot of shrieking, screaming or fighting is not really fair.

It would annoy me but I wouldn't expect you not to let them out. It is perfectly possible to be annoyed by something and also know that the other person isn't in the wrong.

What I would want you to stop is if you were constantly coming out to stop them talking to me, because that would mean you were possibly watching me and I'd hate that. I can deal with a prying child on my own, it makes it much harder if their adult keeps popping up trying to police our conversation.

@C231009

Hi all, ds and Dd are aged 10 and 5. Both on the spectrum.

I absolutely dread the better weather. It’s a little sunny where I live today so they’ve managed to get into the garden but they are so loud. They don’t seem to have a volume setting just loud 🤣 they end up arguing and shouting at each other too they I end up calling them in. Then they try and talk to all the neighbours - I do discourage this as most neighbours probably don’t want to be bothered.

Instead of using the garden we tend to go out instead but difficult at the minute.

We live on a residential street where lots of households have children but mine seem the loudest.

If you were our neighbour would you get peed off with 2 loud autistic children? Shall I let them play out more? I’m not saying I’m going to let them out for hours on end or at unsociable times but maybe an hour or so a day in the afternoon.

But I just get paranoid that the neighbours will hate us and we will be disturbing them!

My son is 5 On the spectrum to He says my neighbour ‘hello fat man do you live there? I’m mortified and apologise and explain but no matter how I try and tell my son he still does it. He told a guy when we were outside a shop are you a girl or boy? The guylaughed and said he gets it all the time anyway. He didn’t answer though lol. It was the way he was dressed. My 3 is copying his brother as well a lot. I know how you feel.

Not at all.
Round my house, my kids are forever hanging off the fence chatting to the little girl next door, or the older lady the other side (she’s wonderful) so to be honest both of my kids would be so loud I wouldn’t hear yours!