to think getting your baps out for charity is NOT OK

[LittleGoldfish]

Went on a hen night Last night and did the usual pub crawl with about 12 other women. One of the pubs we ended up in was full of men (I think it was some kind of workmens club or something).

The bar manager was going around asking people to buy raffle tickets for charity which we all did. The woman who's hen party it was said she would get her baps out for all the men in the pub if they all put £5 in the hat all for charity. And no this is not a wind up thread this is very true.

Whilst I appreciate it was for a good cause I thought it a bit demoralising to the rest of the women there? I felt like all the men were judging as all to be the same. AIBU to think like this? All the other girls just laughed it off and said it was only a laugh and for a good cause.

She did get them out for the lads so to speak and they all put in a fiver but when they all cheered I just wanted to get the hell out of there.

She had only had 2 bottles of lager when she did it too . My DH said IABU and not to take it too seriously (wonder how he would feel if I had done it ).

It has been a very long time since I hit the town, I am in my thirties so maybe I am just a bit out of touch. I am in no rush to go out again after that. AIBU to feel annoyed she did that?

UMMMMMMMM what do you think? love the word flange though .

I would not be remotely horrified by what a bunch of random strangers thought of me.

I think some of you have a very poor opinion of men. Women are far worse.

Hmm, am thinking I may need a halo too.

Women are far worse. Really?!?

It's just witless and vulgar.

(To OP, not Rhubarb)

Yes, my flange showing is in good taste.

"It cuts both ways, Elizabetth. Ever been to see the Chippendales?

Women are worse, if anything, when faced with a semi-naked male.

No-one's being degraded. People have free will in this world (and the next). If you don't want to flash your tits, you don't have to."

Oh my god what world do you live in? Do the Chippendales even exist any more? There's certainly no comparison to the explosion of stripping, strip joints, lap-dancing clubs and porn - all using women's bodies as commodities for men to enjoy.

And do you know what a lot of men will do when faced with a semi-naked female? They'll either harass her or they'll solicit her for sex. That just doesn't happen the other way around.

As for calling it liberation - titillating men has always been the job of women, it's got sweet FA to do with freedom and it's sad that you think it does.

This particular woman I am talking about has won wet t-shirt competitions in the past (I know what does that say)?

I get the impression she gets off on it - the blokes learing and cheering, she is an attention seeker. She has HUGE breasts and quite proudly shows them off to anyone.

so what?? really, why are you so bothered?

she is proud of her body, like sshowing it off, and likes the attention

who exactly is she harming?

Should have added - I didn't get my tits out, but the strippers who the men I was serving beer to certainly did. That difference didn't seem to make a whole lot of difference to the perv men who were watching them a whole lot of whom harassed me. In fact I think they did it because I obviously wasn't dressed or acting like I wanted to titillate them or get their approval or attention.

With Elizabetth. Every word.
Anything else is naive surely?

flange flashers r us.

Has a certain ring to it? No?

Agree Elizabethh.

In a dream world. The number of men who have paid for prostitutes in the UK has doubled in the past ten years. What does everybody think that lads who go off on stag weekends to Prague or Amsterdam are up to? And people say women are "worse". Absolutely bloody ridiculous.

LG, it sounds like you're really not keen on the woman anyway, so perhaps that coloured your judgement of the situation a bit?

I wouldn't flash for charity, but mainly for fear of treading on my own nipples.

But I would have taken advantage of the situation by nipping to the bar when everyone else was busy watching her.

I will bring it up at our next PTA meeting Rhubarb. A glitter-flanging/sponsored-bounce hybrid should bring in, ooooh, about fifty quid I reckon.

Wouldn't it be funny if it was the same PTA?

not all men go to prostitutes, strip clubs, lap dancing clubs, ogle page 3, want to degrade adn humiliate women, you are tarring every man with the same brush. and you do not know what all men are thinking

there are plenty of decent, kind,loyal men in the world

I just think this woman (OP's hen-night companion) sounds like a right pain in the unusual - desperate for male approval, doesn't care how inappropriate her actions are or what impact they have on the people around her, manipulative enough to spot the 'Oh, it's for charity' line that would absolve her and make it difficult for anyone else to object. If I were you I'd just be thankful that a) I'm not her and b) she's not my mate.

nipping to the bar - I like that. errr-I WAS DOING THAT.

though to me it just sounds like everyone was drunk and having fun and the bride-to-be just thought of a novel way to make money for charity

maybe she's cringeing now

OMG she's the bride

So she is your mate

In answer to the OP, yes, it IS horrible IMO and no, YANBU IMO, not remotely. I'd have been very uncomfortable and horrified. Actually, I would have gone home. I hate the rise of raunch culture and magazines like Nuts and Zoo, which contribute to the objectification of women - it isn't liberation and it isn't girl power, it's degrading.

policywonk - you have hit the nail on the head. Everything you have said is soooooooo true.

actually , i think PW has a point

but i stand by my post before that !