to think getting your baps out for charity is NOT OK

[LittleGoldfish]

Went on a hen night Last night and did the usual pub crawl with about 12 other women. One of the pubs we ended up in was full of men (I think it was some kind of workmens club or something).

The bar manager was going around asking people to buy raffle tickets for charity which we all did. The woman who's hen party it was said she would get her baps out for all the men in the pub if they all put £5 in the hat all for charity. And no this is not a wind up thread this is very true.

Whilst I appreciate it was for a good cause I thought it a bit demoralising to the rest of the women there? I felt like all the men were judging as all to be the same. AIBU to think like this? All the other girls just laughed it off and said it was only a laugh and for a good cause.

She did get them out for the lads so to speak and they all put in a fiver but when they all cheered I just wanted to get the hell out of there.

She had only had 2 bottles of lager when she did it too . My DH said IABU and not to take it too seriously (wonder how he would feel if I had done it ).

It has been a very long time since I hit the town, I am in my thirties so maybe I am just a bit out of touch. I am in no rush to go out again after that. AIBU to feel annoyed she did that?

I think it's probably not too awful in a pub, on a hen night

and for charity

If it was during a board meeting then it would be different

It doesn't sound too appalling to me, just a little tasteless

woiuld it have been better if she;d have 8 bottles of lager?

i would be a bit but her baps and her choice

unless you all whipped your baps out, i doubt very much that the men were judging any of you

they would have been too busy ogling your topless friend

Good way of raisin money

I don't see how it is demoralising for anyone - one woman was willing and wanted to do it, so did. Others did not.

at board meeting comment.

Some women do get their baps out on nights out and not always for charity. Hardly the end of teh world.

Maybe I am getting prudish in my old age . I have to say, I don't miss the single lifestyle- all that going out on pub crawls. I would much rather be on mumsnet and drinking a glass of wine or two.

lol @ her baps, her choice

I wish I had baps I WANTED to get out...

I would if I could keep my bra on... is that allowed?

How long before someone comes along banging on about women as sex objects and living in a mysogonist society?

I suppose at least there was a purpose for her flashing, as Dr Northerner so rightly says, you see it often enough for no reason!!!! (or is that just in Redcar)

Well I am a bit disappointed that she only asked the MEN for money...

Maybe the wimmin would like a bit too?

There were only men in the pub except for the hen party .

I am guessing by all your comments I am a bloody prude then?

Just a little tense

I wouldn't say you are a bloody prude

It's not IDEAL behaviour

But not that surprising either

Look, we are basically all old ladies now who want to sit at home with a glass of wine and Mumsnet

It's ok at our age

true.

Well, it's a little tacky maybe, but not a hanging offence....

unlike my baps, which are hanging and offensive

Know what you mean Hekate

"How long before someone comes along banging on about women as sex objects and living in a mysogonist society?"

If women weren't then how could any of us make money by getting our tits out for the lads?

It's kind of sad. I'd have felt uncomfortable too if I was you LG.

A few years ago I was with a group of friends in a bar when a girl get on a bucking bull topless .

Boys thought it hilarious - girls thought it just as funny when we said how great it was and we too should have a go!!!! Surprisingly we were quickly ushered into the next bar

Its just us then Elizabethh. Glad someone agrees with me.

YANBU

Of course I won't bore everyone else with my thoughts of this kind of "women's lib".

Oh go on

frankly my dear if tiz good enough for the WI tis good enough for working class baps [winks]

It probably isn't just us but there is so much pressure on women to go along with this kind of crap (calling the ones who don't prudes, uptight etc) that most women won't speak up even if they are dubious.

Look at DrNortherner immediately sneering at anybody who might not agree with it and have good reasons not to.

My worst ever experience was working behind a bar at a men-only party where they had hired strippers - the sexism and the degradation of women was quite something (luckily the bar was in a small room off of where the main action was so I didn't have to watch). I wasn't even part of it (clothes on, short hair, long-sleeved t-shirt) but they treated me just the same because I was female. It gives men the green light to think it's OK to degrade women.