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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Refusing to meet up with a vaccine refuser?

145 replies

BlueSoop · 20/02/2021 10:27

MIL has been offered a vaccine appointment. MIL’s cohabiting partner has refused the vaccine. Myself, DH and DC have not yet been vaccinated.

This morning MIL has read the news about family meet-ups possibly being allowed by Easter and wants to make a plan. It’s possible that DH and I may have had our first jab by then.

WIBU to say I don’t want to meet up with a vaccine refuser? Close contact with a vaccine refuser is introducing a risk into our family that wouldn’t otherwise be present. Plus he’s trying to talk MIL out of having the vaccine so if that happens I won’t want to meet up with her either.

OP posts:

Oly4 · 20/02/2021 10:31

Outdoor meet ups would be fine regardless. But I would not be meeting indoors with anyone unless I personally had had both doses of the vaccine.

what he does is up to him? He’s not going to be a risk to you if you’re vaccinated - no more than all the other unvaccinated people you’re going to meet over the course of your life, because Covid is here to stay.
I think he’s mad personally but it’s his choice

Aprilx · 20/02/2021 10:34

Are you for the rest of your life going to demand seeing a vaccination certificate before you socialise with anyone. What if they had just not told you? Would you be the same if it were your mother rather than MIL, I suspect not. You can’t stop your husband seeing his mother or even stop your children seeing them if he decides to take them.

Personally I am not planning to be seeing anyone by Easter anyway but that is beside the joint

Yumyumdindins · 20/02/2021 10:37

The risk would be to them, not you, if you’ve had your jabs. The vaccine doesn’t stop transmission but helps to lesson the symptoms if you do catch it. Even if you all have the vaccine, you could still catch Covid. However, if you’ve had your jabs then your risk of complications is much less. It’s up to them if they won’t have the vaccine so let them crack on and meet you if they want- it’s they who would be more at risk.

Lastfreakinglegs · 20/02/2021 10:39

You are being utterly ridiculous. HTH.

EveryoneRevealsThemselves · 20/02/2021 10:40

I would also take any lockdown lifting timelines with an enormous pinch of salt right now.

GiveIrelandBackToTheIrish · 20/02/2021 10:41

You've lost the plot

Newfor2021 · 20/02/2021 10:41

Macncheeseballs · 20/02/2021 10:42

Refusing to meet him might make him realise how his actions affect more than just him

Hwory · 20/02/2021 10:43

Me and my kids won't be hanging around anyone refusing to have the vaccine.

If their choice whether to have it but it's my choice what risks I take with myself and my children.

IceGrass · 20/02/2021 10:43

We and a lot of family are doing the same as you. Yes meet them outside, but wouldn’t be walki into their house for the toilet or going inside. Not until we’re all 3 weeks lost our second dose and they’ve decided if it works against current new strains or not.

It’s his choice but also mine to keep my family safe.

PurpleDaisies · 20/02/2021 10:43

This is a ridiculous position to take.

MaLarkinn · 20/02/2021 10:45

Don't be silly.

vodkaredbullgirl · 20/02/2021 10:48

halfwaythrough2 · 20/02/2021 10:48

@Hwory

Me and my kids won't be hanging around anyone refusing to have the vaccine.

If their choice whether to have it but it's my choice what risks I take with myself and my children.

You do realise if they go to school etc they will come into contact with others not vaccinated? Just like other kids who don't have the standard mmr ones.

Op I think you need to chill out a bit, focus on getting yourself vaccinated if that's what you want. Your doing it to protect yourself, it's meant to make it better to catch it or protect you ? Otherwise why are you having it ?

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 20/02/2021 10:49

She's your MIL, not your problem. Your DH needs to make it clear whether or not he will be comfortable spending time with her as a family once the kids are back at school if she is unvaccinated.

Her partner is her problem. His decision to vac or not. Better not to make a thing of it and let his GP deal with him.

In the longer term, if you are both vaccinated it is obviously your choice to demand proof of vaccination before spending time with people.

There's still a what, circa 15% chance of catching it even with a vaccine. Before any new variants. As a PP pointed out It's here to stay and will become an annual vaccine/booster/pill in time I'd suggest.

I'm of the opinion that this is Darwinism in motion. People who refuse to help themselves will in all likelihood die earlier. I'm prepared to be bothered for those who cannot have it, or are taking steps to do everything they can do to sort this shitshow out

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 20/02/2021 10:50

Sorry, if your kids are teens that's a different story. He's likely put them at risk too so f*ck him.

BottleFlipper · 20/02/2021 10:51

Whilst I don't hold vaccine refusers too highly, you can't expect to navigate the rest of your lives without ever coming across one.

teamdebbievssorelosers · 20/02/2021 10:52

that makes no sense.

If you believe so much in the "vaccine", how would you be affected by someone who didn't get it? Presumably you'll be safe then...

SoupDragon · 20/02/2021 10:57

Close contact with a vaccine refuser is introducing a risk into our family that wouldn’t otherwise be present.

How?

AllMyPrettyOnes · 20/02/2021 10:59

Ridiculous. How will you navigate through life thinking like this? You can't tell who has had a vaccine or not.

letthemwonderhowwegotthisfar · 20/02/2021 11:01

My MIL, under normal circumstances, has always refused the flu vaccine as it makes her feel dreadful (she’s taken both flu and Covid vaccines this year) and I’ve never considered not meeting her. I don’t get the flu vaccine because I’m still too young to be called for it

BLToutanowhere · 20/02/2021 11:02

We've just spent how long in lockdown and you're making excuses for refusers?

They want to play stupid games, then they can win stupid prizes.

millymollymoomoo · 20/02/2021 11:04

Utterly ridiculous and complete hysterics
Can’t believe what we’ve become

DenisetheMenace · 20/02/2021 11:06

I wouldn’t want to see him until we had all had both jabs (including our 18 year old who has asthma).

GabriellaMontez · 20/02/2021 11:07

Will you be screening your colleagues? People on public transport? Anyone working in your home?

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